for Friday Fictioneers

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I’d prepared an answer for every question I was likely to be asked. I was about to be interviewed for a fantastic new job!

A glamorous secretary approached me. ‘Walk this way’ she said, sashaying across the waiting room. I obediently swayed my hips as I followed her! She’ll be fun at the office party I thought.

‘Good morning, Mr Plain’  said the bespectacled lady.

‘Hello, Miss Take’ I said,  ‘but actually, I’m Mr Smart!’

‘And I’m Miss Right’ she said, ‘Miss Take runs the company on the next floor’.

I made a hasty exit passing a nervous-looking Mr Plain in the reception area.

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Thanks to Rochelle for hosting and to Marie Gail Stratford for the photo.

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for Wordless Wednesday

Being a Sassenach didn’t stop me enjoying a Burn’s Night supper of Haggis, neeps and tatties – and whisky of course!

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For Ragtag Daily Prompt which today is hosted by Christine and the given word is Appealing.

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I enjoy nothing more than luxuriating in a bubbly bath, don’t you? Candles here and there, gentle music wafting ‘twixt drifting clouds of aromatic steam. With of course, a glass of red wine to hand.

Last I night I had a slight accident whilst wallowing.  I knocked my glass of Tempranillo Grande Reserve ‘09 into the bath. Such a waste, but the blushing water got me thinking. Surely, the ultimate soak extravaganza would be to bathe in red wine!

That chap Anonymous once said (and he said an awful lot of things) ‘where there is plenty of wine, sorrow and worry take wing ’. I like that.  To lay there in a cheeky little Chateau  Branleur with a hint of blackberries and plum, inhaling an aroma reminiscent of balmy summer nights (as it says on the label!) is quite appealing. 

Actually, it would be more like marinating than bathing, and I’d probably emerge looking like a life-sized strawberry! So perhaps beer might be a better idea, a well crafted pale ale perhaps. That might even give me a tan!

In the meantime, I’ll make do with my usual squirt-and-a-bit of citrus dishwashing liquid, and pretend it’s gin, with tonic and lime!

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for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt where the given word is Faction and the limit, 39 words.

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Tell Fred a joke and often he’ll frown thinking you’re being serious.

Sometimes when you tell him something unpleasant’s happened, he doubles-up with laughter assuming it’s a joke.

He can’t tell fiction from fact.

Faction Fred, we call him!

 

for Friday Fictioneers

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My dream’s come true, I’m going to be on television!

I always knew I’d make it. After all, I’ve got looks and personality. 

I considered being a weather-man, gesticulating in front of a map. ‘Severe storms for you northerners, ha-ha-ha!’

Or a newsreader! ‘Breaking news, my glass just fell off the desk and smashed!’ 

I’d be a great game-show host. ‘That’s the wrong answer, looooser!’ 

I thought of acting, but why should someone as gifted as me pretend to be someone else?

Anyway, watch ‘Streetlife’ seven-thirty tonight – that’s me leaving the shop behind some guy that’s being interviewed in the mall!

Thanks to Rochelle for hosting and providing the photo.

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for Wordless Wednesday

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As the day falls asleep, the Pavilion awakes!

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for Ragtag Daily Prompt which today is hosted by Christine. The given word is/are Nut-brown!

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That girl over there’s Hazel. She’s a bit of a nut-case, crackers  even.  Look, she’s pecan at you with those nut-brown eyes.

She likes nuttin’ more than eatin’ donuts, and adores that chocolate spread – what’s it called? 

She says her favourite country is Brazil, and she loves cocoa.

She went skiing last year, sneezed and fell over – piste…achoo! 

She often goes running, says she’d like to be Usain Bolt’s nut, so he could … well, you know!

Watch out, she’s moving. Heading for the toilets. Must be going for a pee-nut,  get it?  No?  That wasn’t very funny was it?  Time I changed the subject.

That bloke over there’s Ash. He’s barking mad. Say’s he’s branching out into …. where are you going? How rude leafing me like that.

for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt where the given word is Tenacious and the limit, 73 words.

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I’m a winner – well, almost.

The task was daunting, but I was fearless, determined, tenacious – well, fairly.

My foe surrounded me. I stared into their eyes, casting fear in their minds – well, I thought so.

Let battle commence!

I grabbed, tackled, fought to the end. 

I triumphed – well, nearly. 

John ate thirty sprouts, Sally twenty-two and me ….  fourteen and a bit. 

So I won – well, third prize! 

 

for Friday Fictioneers

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It wasn’t my fault. There were tangled cables everywhere. A Health and Safety Officer’s worst nightmare.

I’m skilled at my job, a janitorial professional. I’ve actually been nominated for this year’s Golden Toilet Brush Award.

But even I couldn’t help getting my broom tangled up in those leads causing a microphone stand to topple onto a drum, which dropped to the floor and rolled into a double bass, which fell onto a keyboard that tipped over landing on some electric device, which sparked, smoked and burst into flames.

And worst of all?  My precious broom caught fire while beating it out!

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Thanks to Rochelle for hosting and Dale Rogerson for the picture.

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for Wordless Wednesday

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