A silly story…

for Sunday Photo Fiction (a day late!)

 

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I really didn’t want to be at the gallery.

‘What’s that?’  I asked pointing at a pile of old chairs.  I just wanted to know why it was considered art, but my simple question set him off.

‘It’s a representation of the challenges one has to overcome in order to attain a lofty position in one’s life; the obstacles, the mishaps, the errors one encounters as one climbs ever upward to the reach one’s throne on high’.

‘So which one’s the throne?’  I asked.

‘That’s subjective, a matter of one’s desires, one’s abitions’ he replied. 

‘Okay,’ I said, ‘I’d aim for… that one’.

‘The one on the left?’

‘No the one on the right’.

‘Not the one right in the middle?’

Time to change the subject I thought.

‘I brought some sandwiches. Would you like one?’

‘Ooh, shall I have this one or that one?’

‘That depends on one’s culinary tastes, one’s appetency’ I said, somewhat sarcastically!  He took the cheese one.  I grabbed us a couple of chairs.  Bad move, since unbeknown to me they were part of the artwork and it began to collapse! 

‘Imagine if the throne landed on one’s head’ I chuckled!

‘Well, one’s…..’  and of he went again!

 

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Thanks to Donna for hosting and to Pixabay for the picture.

 

 

 

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A conversation…

for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt where the given word is Delicate, and the limit is 106 words.

 

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‘Excuse me, sir, your erm…your…thing…’

‘What thing Madam?’

‘Your…doo-dah is erm…’

‘Spit it out lady’

‘Well, it’s somewhat delicate’

‘What is for goodness sake?’

‘I can see your…erm….’

‘Speak up woman, I can barely hear you’.

‘I don’t wish to attract attention to… it’.

‘It?  What it?’

By now their imbroglio had mustered considerable interest.  Some looked on and pointed, some covered their mouths to muffle their chortles.  Others adopted a perturbed countenance whilst scurrying past, eyes shielded.

He glanced down attempting to ascertain what was enticing so much attention.

‘Oh, that’.

Buttoning up his fly, he strode off.

 

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It’s Froggie time!

for Friday Fictioneers.

 

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I was in the library looking for something to read.   Spotting a book I fancied, I took hold of it, but wouldn’t move.   I pulled, it pulled back!  I heaved. It heaved.  Suddenly it stopped resisting and I flew backward, landing the floor.

I peered under the bottom shelf and spotted a pretty pair of ankles.  I clambered to my feet, straightened my glasses and peeped through the gap on the shelf.  Looking back at me were the sweetest blue eyes I’d ever seen.  ‘Hello, I’m Paige’ said a cute little voice. 

We agreed to share the book and so started a new chapter in our lives. 

 

 

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Thanks to Rochelle for hosting and CEAyr for the photo.

Prod the frog to join in the fun!

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la-la-la!

 

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I have a self-imposed rule on my blog – no challenges!  Then along came Di from Pensitivity 101 who asked me if I’d like to participate in  Laura Venturini’s  Weekly Song Challenge  I couldn’t resist it! So, here goes.

Post a video of a song about getting spiffed up.

Like Di, I’ve picked a song from Top Hat, but mine’s a different one.  I’ve never seen the movie, but last month I was in the audience of the stage show, and this keeps playing in my head!   So, I’m putting on my top hat, white tie, and tails!

 Post a video of a song that makes you cry for no reason.

The first time I heard this song from the Allan Parsons Project I decided I wanted it played at my funeral!  The melody is haunting and the words, pure poetry. I’ve picked a video which shows the lyrics.

Post a video of a song that is a great work out song.

When I was at school I enjoyed cross-country running.  I’m not a great one for working out these days, although I did run for the bus yesterday!  This song makes me puff and pant just listening to it! Ready, steady….go!

 

I’m now tagging two people. Please do not feel obliged to take part, it’s entirely up to you!

Messymimi at https://messymimismeanderings.wordpress.com/

Fandango at https://fivedotoh.com/

You can find out all about it at https://lavent69.blog/2019/09/08/weekly-song-challenge-round-30/

 

 Rules

Copy rules and add to your own post, pinging back to this post.
Post music videos for your answers to the musical questions.
Tag two people to participate!
Easy!

 

She’s back!

Around 200 words for this week’s Sunday Photo Fiction.

 

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zzzzMy friend Rosey took my photo the other day.  Well, she meant to.  It was actually a picture of herself – yet again! 

She struggles with her mobile phone.  She once claimed to be follicly challenged.  She meant to say ‘phonically challenged’ which still didn’t really make sense!

She likes running through the ring tones which can be very irritating.  Consequently, she’s never sure which one she’s using.  The other day it sounded like her doorbell.  When her pizza delivery arrived, she answered her phone.  Then the restaurant rang asking if she still wanted it and she answered the door! 

She was at the theatre.  Waltzing couples filled the stage.  ‘Darling’ said the leading man, ‘You are the belle of the ball’.   Ding-dong went Rosey’s phone.

She was in church.  ‘Hark, the doves of peace’ uttered the priest.  Coo-coo went Rosey’s phone.

She passed an elderly man in the street.  It wolf-whistled. 

Yesterday she collided with a lamppost while texting.  ‘I’m seriously injured’ she complained holding up a broken fingernail.  She’s now campaigning for all posts and pillars to be wrapped in foam.  Best of luck with that Rosey!

Actually, I need to call her.  On second thoughts, I’ll pop round!

 

If you are a recent visitor to my blog you may not be aware that I’ve been writing about My Friend Rosey regularly since 2008!  If you want to know who she is, where she lives, what she does, about her pets, etc., just click here and you’ll be magically transported to her dedicated site.

 

l.l.jones-selfie_49Thanks to Donna for hosting and to L L Jones for her picture.

One hundred and forty-seven words….

for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt where we are invited to use 147 words in any way we wish and to include the word Museum.

 

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il_794xN.1346882215_aodyIt comes alive at night, this museum.  You don’t believe it?  I didn’t at first.  Ridiculous idea. Yet something nagged me.  So I decided to take a look if only to confirm my doubts.

I broke in that night.  I’m not revealing how, you’ll have to take my word for it.  I crept around, but even on tip-toes, my steps echoed.  Suddenly something unseen started dragging me, my feet hardly touching the ground.  Then I saw them.  Statues chatting with one another, quaffing ale. Prehistoric skeletons wandering hither and thither.  Characters in a painting frolicking, dancing.  I found myself dancing with them.  I felt giddy, joyful, elated!

I never left.  They wouldn’t let me.

You are wondering who’s talking to you, aren’t you?  I’m over here, in the gilt frame.  That’s right, here.  Tonight I’ll be partying again, tomorrow too.  Join me, if you dare. 

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A couple of hundred words…

for Donna’s Foto Flash Fiction Challenge. 

 

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Quite a few homeless people sleep in the shelters along the promenade at night.  Another joined them a couple of weeks ago. She had a few bulging plastic sacks in a supermarket trolley, presumably her worldly goods.  The others didn’t know who she was. They didn’t ask, didn’t care.

One day last week, Thursday I think it was, a supermarket trolley appeared on the beach as the tide ebbed.  It was empty but for a few scraps of seaweed.

One less person slept in the shelters along the promenade that night.

A couple of weeks ago, she’d gone missing.  Missing from work, missing from home.  She was a successful businesswoman in the City but of late, things had started going downhill.  She had split from her husband, and running her business had taken a back seat. He was demanding a small fortune, so she needed to disappear straight away, become anonymous, invisible.  And so she joined the homeless people in the shelters along the promenade that night.  

But not for long.  Just long enough.

Right now I’m enjoying my holiday on a remote sun-drenched island.  Yesterday, while sipping my pina colada, I’m pretty sure I saw her. I recognised her from pictures in the newspapers.  I’ll keep quiet,  provided of course she agrees to my modest demands!

 

 

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Photo  courtesy of Morguefile

A short story…

for Friday Fictioneers

This a reworking of a piece I wrote a few years back following a trip to Ikea.  Hardly anyone read it then, so second time lucky – hopefully!

 

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Gosh, this is heavy. A few steps more, through the door, round the corner and drop it to the floor.  Hey, that sounds like a poem! 

Right, off with the packaging and I’m ready to go!

This looks simple. Twenty assorted screws, one allen key, ten bits of wood and in minutes I’ll have a Billy bookcase! 

Now, this one here, that one there.  No, that one there, this one here.  Ah, that goes…err…no …grrrrr!

Look, I’ve done it!  Yea!  Now to stand it upright.   Heeeeve-ho.  Wow, look at that! 

Oh, it’s upside down. 

I think I need a coffee break.

 

 

  • Did you know, the Billy bookcase is Ikea’s biggest selling item with over 60 million sold worldwide – two of which are in my apartment!

 

penny-gadd-shelvesThanks to Rochelle for hosting and to Penny Gadd for the photo.

Prod the frog to join in the fun!

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