Keith's Ramblings

for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt where the given word is… 

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William and Willamena had much in common, surely it was God’s Will they should be joined in Holy Matriarchy.

Whilst strolling in the park William dropped to one knee.

“You alright?” she asked assuming his dodgy joints were playing up.

“Of course”, he huffed, whilst rummaging through his pockets.

“You are the centre of my universe, the cherry on my cake, my omphalos”.

“Your om what?” she spluttered.

“My omph…”

“Ah, your belly button! By the way, you’ve knelt on something”. 

“What?”

“Ompheces.  Dog poo!”

Somewhat omphortunate, but she said yes!

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For Six Sentence Stories where the given word is Detour.

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My friend Rosey’s too trusting, gullible even, her friends enjoy nothing more than telling her silly things knowing she’ll believe them, but in a nice way of course!

She recently purchased a sat-nav for her car because she got fed up with getting lost, and even that’s in on the act.

The other day, when it said to turn right she turned right, then when it said turn left she turned … you’ve guessed, right, typical Rosey!

She said it seemed annoyed and in a grumpy voice, it said  ‘recalculating route’ then it took her on a lengthy detour, this way and that, up a hill, down a dirt track, round an oak tree, and left at an anthill!

She got completely stuck in some mud and she assures me it actually laughed, so she trudged her way back to the road and walked a while before calling me, begging for a lift.

So please, if you come across a pink and grey Smart car among some trees let me know because she can’t find it and neither can I!

 

Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting. 

 

for Friday Fictioneers

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I know it’s here somewhere

but where tell me where?

When I finished last night

I left it right there.

 

Ten hours of scribbling

and scratching my head,

before I was happy 

and headed for bed.

 

My pen is still here,

my blotter, my ink.

But where is my poem?

I just cannot think.

 

Has it dropped to the floor,

is it under that book?

Is it tucked in those papers,

where else can I look?

 

There’s just one thing for it

this place is a mess.

Now is the time

To sort out my desk!

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Thanks to Rochelle for hosting and providing the photograph.

*This is not a comment on your desk Rochelle, I promise!

 

Click Froggie to join in the fun!

 

 

 

 

For Wordless Wednesday and blog hops various!

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I was going through my old photos again and I found these from 2016. They were taken a few miles along the coast from me beneath the white cliffs in Eastbourne. 

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Click pics to enlarge and again to make even larger!

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Time to climb up again – halfway there!

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for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt where the given word is Spotlight.

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“Tonight’s winner … you!”

The spotlight, well, torch dazzled me!

“Your star prize … a packet of peanuts”.

I love a pub quiz!‘.

 

 

For Six Sentence Stories where the given word is Confetti.

 

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It was somewhat windy as the happy couple left the church so the groom held onto his bride’s hand extra tightly for fear she might fly away as her wedding gown began to balloon! 

The guests started flinging confetti into the air, flying up and down, round and round whilst the church’s groundsman, broom in hand, looked on wearing a far from happy expression.

“It’s confetti, not spaghetti” shouted one onlooker as some flew into the groom’s mouth, setting off a round of poor puns and waggish wisecracks.

Such was the jollity that no one realised the hapless groom was choking, except that is for his newly acquired wife who was clearly an expert in the Heinrich manoeuvre. 

“Save that for tonight” shouted some guy, unaware of the seriousness of the situation as bridey began pumping her beau.

Fortunately, he lived to tell the tale, something he does whenever given the opportunity!

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting.

for Friday Fictioneers.

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To those they knew, Rose and Bill seemed the perfect couple. But all was not as it appeared. They concealed their troubled relationship behind closed doors.

Their neighbours hadn’t seen Rose for quite a while but that was not unusual as she often went to stay with her mother.

 

Bill was walking Poppy, their dog across a sun-scorched field when suddenly, she rushed towards some trees and started frantically scratching the soil, plaintively whimpering. 

He snapped on her lead, tugged her away and dropped a single red rose to the ground 

‘God forgive me’ he muttered as they turned and strolled away.

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Thanks to Rochelle for hosting and to Dale for the photo.

 

                                   Click Froggie to join in the fun!

 

 

 

for Wordless Wednesday and other assorted bloghops!

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I took these pictures at the National Pinetum at Bedgebury near Royal Tunbridge Wells this very week 11 years ago!

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To see the Pinetum website, click HERE.

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for Sadje’s What Do You See? prompt.‘

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“There are going to be lots of shooting stars tonight,” said Mazie Crilly, “apparently, you can catch them”.

Here we go again I thought. Another of her ridiculous ideas!

“Who told you that?” I asked.

“Let me think,” she said. “Oh yes, Cerry Pomo”.

“Who?”

“You know, he sang a song about it, Catch a falling star and…”

“You mean Perry Como”.

“That’s what I said,” she said. She didn’t!

“I’m going out after dark with my butterfly net. It’ll be fun” 

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Last night when the dog took me for a walk in the pouring rain, I walked past Mazie’s house and guess what, there were three or four stars hovering above her roof!

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I saw Mazie Crilly this morning. “If it’s not  Dead Fright,” she said.

“It’s not,” I replied, “I’m Fred Dwight”.

“That’s what I said,” she said. She didn’t!

She told me he’s catching a rainbow next.

“You really can’t do that,” I told her.

“Well, how come Pelvis Essly sang about having a pocketful?” she replied!

Actually, nothing would surprise me where Crazie Milly is concerned anymore!.

 

Prompt image credit; Tasos Mansour @ Unsplash

for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt where the given word is Impromptu.

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In a packed pub, a crowded coffee shop, or on a busy bus, he’ll clear his throat before giving an impromptu rendition of the operatic aria, Nessun Dorma. 

His audience agog, he often receives a standing ovation  – as they rush for the exit giving us somewhere to sit.

 

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