I wrote two pieces for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompttoday, one soppy, one silly. I couldn’t decide which to use so I’m afraid you are getting them both!
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Take 1!
Standing upon the hilltop at one with nature, I am surrounded by an undulating patchwork of green, gold and russet fields punctuated by sturdy trees and speckled with woolly downland sheep.
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Take 2!
It’s finished, my pretty little piece of patchwork! Ooo-ooo-ooh, I need the bathroom, I’ve been sitting here stitching for ages. Oh no, I’ve only gone and sewn it to my jeans.;
“I’m gonna be in a lot of trouble when I get home”, said Ted, as he walked into the Baaamy Inn, soaking wet thanks to the pouring rain, “the wife gave me a shopping list when I left home and I’m supposed to have bought the stuff on the way here, well, I dropped the list on the ground and went to I went to pick it up a gust of wind blew it into the air and it flew onto on a passing cars windscreen“; just at that moment a guy entered the pub and ordered a pint, “this piece of paper landed on my windscreen, Len”, he said as he screwed it up, “mind if I throw it on the fire?”
“Talking of dropping things”, said Arthur, “unbeknown to me I dropped my wallet on the ground as I left the bakery this morning, it had all my credit cards and cash in it, anyway, I walked to the bus stop getting there just in time and as I climbed aboard some bloke leapt on behind me; as I sat down he walked up to me puffing and panting and said ‘you dropped your wallet outside’ the bakery, I thanked him and he just stood there, so I said ‘where it then?’ and he said ‘I just told you, it’s on the ground outside the bakery’ – fortunately someone handed it in so I got it back” ; “good, said Babs, because it’s your turn to buy the drinks!”
The rain had suddenly turned to snow, heavy snow, ”looks like it’s settling on the ground already”, said Jim, “shame were not holding the Winter Olympics, I remember back in ‘78 when we had lots of snow, I took my five year old Freddy up the hill with a tea tray so he could have a go at tobogganing, I sat him on it, told him to hold tight and off he went, he loved it, he walked back up, sat on the tray, held his arms in the air and said ‘look Dad, no hands’, and down he went, then he came back pulled his beanie hat down over his face and said ‘look Dad, no eyes’ and down he went again, unfortunately he bumped in to a fence, he came back up with a smile on his face and said ‘look Dad, no tooth!”
Over at the knitting circle, a brown stain on Natilie’s cardigan had caught the attention of Polly, ”what have you done?”, she said; “well,” said Nat, “I was cleaning out my cafetiere before I left and I managed to splash coffee grounds all over the place and I didn’t have time to change, but it got me thinking, last year Knitwitter’s Weekly held a competition to find the most unusual things to make, suggestions included fancy fishing nets, colourful cobwebs, a cat’s hat and scarf, a pair of cosy cufflinks and a couple of things that modesty prevents me from mentioning, I was thinking I could knit a really comfortable bra for those of us whose’s boobies are rapidly heading towards the ground, and call it the Wings Beneath my Things”……up jumped Suzie at the next table, “fly, fly, so high against the sky, so high they’ll almost touch the sky!”
Here comes Colin – “Olympic skiing’s not as popular as it was, it’s going downhill fast – after the shepherdess left her sheep out in a blizzard she had to take them to the Icy Ewe ward – Mary had a little lamb, the midwife fainted – the most ground breaking invention ever was the shovel – I fell down a hole in the ground filled with water, I couldn’t see that well – the ground said to the earthquake, you crack me up – when a plane hits the ground it goes boeing – when your books fall to the ground you only have your shelf to blame – I read a book about a machine that drills holes in the ground, it was boring – I told the barista my coffee tasted like dirt, he said it was only ground this morning – I don’t like coffee, it’s not really my cup of tea – I couldn’t work in Starbucks, the daily grind would be too much – a sad cup of coffee is despresso…….”
Len was looking out at the snow that now covered the ground and his mind went back to when he and his dearly departed Maggie each made a ‘snowperson’, they stood face to face as if kissing; the next day the sun came out and they began to disappear, “you melted my heart Maggie”, he muttered, “mine too”, whispered Maggie, “mine too”.
I try not to reuse stories from the past, but now and again one begs to make another appearance – this is a drastically reduced version of something I wrote several years ago.
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He’d spend his day surrounded by teetering towers of textbooks and piles of academic papers – except for lunchtime when he’d appear at my bistro, climb onto a bar stool and flirt with my girls whilst enjoying a snack!
I can still see him in his double breasted suit, bow tie and patent leather shoes. ‘My dear friend’, he’d say as I approached. He always called me that.
He died too soon, he still had so much to give. The last thing he said to me was ‘Goodbye, my dear friend’.
He was buried in a cardboard coffin under a tree in a copse.
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It’s Friday ‘Factioneers’ for me this week! Froggie is standing in for the prof outside my bistro in Eastbourne. Click him to visit the squares.
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Back in 2017 I wrote a piece about the Stage Door and the myriods of celebrities we entertained! The names will be familiar to British readers but not necessarily to those from far afield as they were mainly stars of UK television shows. Happy days! If you’re interested, it’s HERE!
I can hardly believe 14 years have pased since I spent some time in and around Luxor in Egypt. I thought I’d take a look back at a few of the pictures I took…
…starting at Luxor Temple which dates back to 1400BC.
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There was originally an avenue of sphinxes all the way from Luxor Temple to the Karnack temple some three miles away. This is one end of it!
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The Karnack temple complex is the most visited site in all of Egypt. It was started by Ramses 11 who reigned from 1391–1351 BC.
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Queen Hatshepsut temple butts the mountainside was commissioned by Augustus in 15BC. Climbing all those steps in the midday sun was sheer torture – but well worth it!
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I can’t quite rember where I look this, but I like it!
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The Valley of the Kings which dates back to 16-11BC. It was here that the tomb of Tutankhamen was found having been there for some 4000 years. His tomb is in fact quite modest compared to the other 63 discoved so far. No photography allowed down below!
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Yet another temple, Denbur!
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I took a trip along the Nile on a floating palace known as the M/S Orchid, from a misty morning until sunset. It was great!
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Wave!
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Fancy something to eat?
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Time for a well deserved drink on the hotel’s patio!
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I could go on but I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do! Thanks for joining me.
It was nice of him to offer me a ride on his yacht. Off we went, bobbing up and down. He shouted ‘duck’. I looked to port and starboard, but I couldn’t see one. It was then the boom swung round, bonked me on the shoulder and knocked me overboard. He didn’t seem to notice and just kept going, chattering away as if I was still there.
Anyway, I managed to swim ashore and I had a nice time wandering around a little island. I paddled in a stream, picked a flower, ate a banana, picked another flower and then got bored. Suddenly, it occurred to me, I was marooned. What now?
I scraped the word HELP in the sand, hoping someone flying overhead would see it.
Somebody did. A pretty girl landed her paraglider alongside me. She told me to jump on her back, so needless to say, I did! Then she ran along the shore until we shot up into the sky. Weeeee! I let go and stretched out my arms like airplane wings. Bad move. I did a free fall back into the briny.
I swam back ashore. Actually, I think I could get like this little island!.
Beasts stand motionless, staring into my yes. There, look. A grotesque creature. It drops its jaw, silver fangs glint in the gloom. At its feet a slather of slime. A doll grins and tilts its head, I’m scared. Is that a train I see? Yes. I should run for it and escape. But I can’t. Why can’t I?
Debris surrounds me. Bits and pieces everywhere, from here to the very edges of this petrifying vault. How did I end up in this chamber of horrors?
Why this salty taste? I’m thirsty. Where’s the drink I was enjoying just moments ago, where?
I hear water, I see water. It’s like the tide’s coming in. Now it’s silent, yet I hear voices. No, just one voice. Shhhh. Listen.
“Ron, it’s late. For goodness sake come to bed”!
“Sorry sweetheart, I need to put away Tommy’s toys, clean up the ice cream he spilled and the crisps I dropped. My glass too, it fell to the floor and smashed. Oh no, the sink’s overflowing, I was going to do some washing up! I must have been fantasising. Please don’t fall asleep, I’ll be as quick as I can. Don’t forget we have unfinished business to attend to … if you know what I mean!
“In your dreams!”.
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Thanks to Brenda for hosting The Sunday Whirl where this week’s words are –jaw, debris, stitch slather, voices, beasts, tides salty, vault, edges, silver & tilt.
I used all but one, but I hopefully my piece had you in ‘stiches’ in which case I virtually used them all!
Babs seemed intrigued by George’s shirt; “what’s with that great big mark on it, did you spill some paint or something?” she asked; “no” he replied “it’s a trendy shirt from that bohemian woman in the market, Len want’s a younger looking crowd and I thought this might help – by the way, while I was there I went over to the second hand book stall and said, ‘I need a new bookmark’, and the bloke said ‘take your pick, and by the way my name’s Bob not Mark’ ”.
“I remember when I was really young”, said Ted, “I wasn’t happy with the mark my teacher gave me for my English test so I begged him look it it again and he actually agreed to do it, when I got home that afternoon my Dad asked me how it went and I told him the teacher said it was remarkable!”
Arthur was studying a piece of paper and Fred asked him what it was, “well”, said Arthur, “I’ve been having a problem with my cows barging through the hedge and wandering into my neighbour’s field just lately so I got that electrician, Mark the Spark to give me quote for installing an electric fence, I was shocked by the price, I still am, but I guess I’m going to have to do it” ; ”hopefully your neighbour won’t be dead against it”, quipped Colin – and he was off!
“I wasn’t allowed a calculator for my maths exam, I was really counting on it – I passed all my exams with ease, english e, maths e, geography e, art e – I’m taking an archaeology exam, even if I pass my future will be in ruins – the sweater I bought was picking up static electricity, I was given a replacement free of charge – I heard a joke about electricity but I’ve forgotten watt it was – I asked an electrician to fix my electricity and he re-fused – when he got a shock he said ‘that hertz’ – his favourite band was AC/DC – when he got a new car, it was a Voltswagen – I fancy a job cleaning marks off mirrors, I can see myself doing that – I hate spring cleaning, the damned things bounce all over the place – for my birthday I was given a shirt with dirty marks on it, but I appreciated the sediment….”
You may recall that last week Landlord Len asked for suggestions to make the pub more appealing to younger folk something that didn’t go down too well with the regulars; however, they did as asked and the ideas include installing acharging point at every table as they tend always to be glued to their phones, a crazy golf course around the bar and between the tables, movie nights, snail olympics, speed dating, first round free, drag queen nights and complimentary ear plugs because youngsters often scream like banshees – none of which really hit the mark.
As he thought about what to do, something his dearly departed Maggie would have said came to mind – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it; ‘you’re right my love’, he thought, ‘let’s just keep it the way it is’.
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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hostingSix Sentence Storieswhere this week’s given word is Mark.
He had often walked down this street before. He’d watch from behind a lilac tree hoping any that second she’d suddenly appear. He had an overpowering feeling, knowing that somehow she was near. There was nowhere else he’d rather be than the street where she lived.
People watched and stared, but it didn’t bother bother him. It bothered her though. She could no longer let the time go by.
Constable Clutch grabbed him by the arm. “Let go officer”, he said.
“No, Zee Parker. You are under arrest for violation of the Stalking and Harassment Act 1997, anything you say…”
