I spent most of last week with my brother in Poland. You will not be surprised when I tell you I took 530 photos – I’m currently working my way through them! I though I’d start by showing you a few of the city where we were based …
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You can click pics to enlarge and improve.
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Rynek Glowmy Square
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Let’s step inside St Mary’s Basilica
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Fancy some souvenir shopping?
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Time for a drink and something to eat methinks!
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That’s it for now!
I’ll be showing you more of Kraków in a couple of week’s time, but next Tuesday you’ll see a few of the pictures I took in Auschwitz-Birkenau and Fabryka Emalia Oscara Schindlera.
Ted wandered into The Baaamy Inn looking a little weary, “I’ve just had my first golf lesson”, he said, “now I’m semi-retired I thought it would give me something to do other than housework, but I didn’t realise how far I’d have to walk; I made the odd mistake or two, I heard someone shout ‘fore’ and I shouted back ‘two’ because we were on the second green, then I gave the ball a good wack and off it flew until a stupid pigeon decided to fly in its path, there were feathers floating everywhere – I wasn’t pleased and I doubt the bird was either!”
“Did you get a hole in one?” asked Babs as she watched Ted fiddling with his shoe, “fortunately not”, he replied, totally misunderstanding the question, “this pair is new and I only bought them yesterday, I thought about buying some from Willy Walker in the market but I’m told he’s a bit of a fly by night and he’ll do anything to con you, so I went to the shoe shop in town, Lacey works here she’s a sweet soul”.
Fred was flapping his fingers like a fluttering fan as a fly flew round his freshly poured pint; ”careful”, chuckled pig farmer Pete, ”flies have feelings too you know, don’t hurt it” – “that’s a strange thing to say since you slaughter sows to make sausages!”, joked Fred!
“Time flies”, said Arthur, “I’ve got another big birthday coming up; it was the wife’s last week, and as we were eating breakfast she smiled and asked where her present was, I reminded her she’d said ‘nothing would make her happier some diamonds’, so I got her nothing – you should have seen her face, then I said I was kidding and I’d got her a pack of playing cards because they have lots of diamonds – I’d actually bought her a diamond bracelet all along!”
“I saw a golf buggy in a disabled bay”, said Colin, “I wondered what his handicap was – golf’s easy, I played one hole and got 55 points – a fly was buzzing around a policeman, he called the swat team – if pigs could fly the price of pork would go up – and if they did, they’d land at an airpork – my sixty-second birthday only lasted a minute – on the pirate’s 80th birthday he said ‘aye matey’ – the easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once – birthdays are good for you, the more you have the longer you live – I asked someone when their birthday was and they said March 1st, so I walked round the room and asked again – when I gave my mate his 50th card card he said I only needed to give him one……” .
Earlier in the day a chap from a local travel agents had popped in for a drink and asked Len if he could leave a few flyers behind advertising holidays. Len’s mind went back to when Maggie and he would fly away for a few days of rest and relaxation leaving a few of the locals in charge of the Inn, they went to a little Mediterranean island they called Paradise; “if only the two of us could still fly together, Maggie”, he muttered – ‘one day we will, Lenny’, she whispered, ‘one day’.
Shebrushed her hair, sucked in her tummy and smiled.
“Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the….”
Crash! It fell down and smashed. She tried the one in the bathroom.
“Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the …….”
It steamed up.
“They don’t have the heart to show me what they see. I’ll eat more fruit and suffer salads. I willbe the fairest of them all.”
It didn’t last.
She found herself one like those in a Hall of Mirrors that make you look skinny when you’re not. It behaved itself, stayed put and made her look … well, pretty fair actually!
I bet most people have something about their body they wish was different. Those smaller, that bigger, you know what I mean. Some put up with their imperfectioins whilst others spend fortunes on modifications.
Me? I’d like a more rotund backside, you know, a bigger bum!
Why I hear you ask. Well I’m a clumsy so-and-so and I’m forever slipping, sliding and landing on my derriere.
This week alone it’s happened twice. Once on a boardwalk festooned with wet slippery leaves, then a couple of hours ago when I walked down the back alley in the snow. Don’t laugh it’s not funny, how would you like it?
Why am I telling you this you ask. Well, I have tried on the odd occassion sticking a cushion down the back of my trousers but it’s not that practical, so now I’m in the process of inventing padded underwear for those who, like me, suffer from this unfortunate problem. Once in production I’m sure they’ll hit ground running!
Thinking ahead there’s even the possibility of creating some with built in springs that’ll shoot you upright again after you land! I’ll keep you informed about how things are going, and eventually, where you can buy yourself a pair or two!
I enjoyed life, I can’t deny it but I had no idea how much fun things would be when I left it behind and changed from a load of worn out flesh and bones into something resembling a puff of smoke!
When they dumped my worn out body in that grave yard, or the human scrap yard as I call it, I rose within seconds and became the ghost I am today, there was no way I’d settle for becoming nothing more than a messy rotting pile of manure feeding weeds!
Little did you you know, but I was there at my wake – awake at my wake you could say! I was looking forward to hearing what they actually thought of me.
I watched my mate step onto the podium and start saying some really sweet things. I knew he was exaggerating, I wasn’t really as nice as he made out, but hey-ho! He said I had a wicked sense of humour so I though I’d edge up behind him and tickle his neck! He started to scratch, tremble and splutter, they all thought he was overcome with emotion!
They decided it was time to dance and played one of my favourite songs, Gimme Shelter by The Stones. I was in amongst you, dancing too. He may be gone but ole fella still rocks onl
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Thanks to Brenda Warren for hosting The Sunday Whirl where this week’s given words are –
shelter settle rose rocks edge step messy flesh left ghost scrap and tremble
I used to suffer from hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, I detested multisyllabic words. Whenever I heard one, paramnesia kicked in.
However that changed when I fell for amuliebrioussesquipedaliangirl called Aubrielliana, they do say antitheticals attract. She spoke and I smiled, nodded or shook my head hoping it was the appropriate rejoinder.
Everything changed when I made a serendipitous discovery in a book shop, a Longword Lexicon. Suddenly we were able to communicate efficaciouslty!
However, this morning she used the word defenestration and to my horror it wasn’t in my lexicon. I was so angry I chucked it out the window.
In case it’s not in your dictionary either, it means – the action of throwing something or someone out of a window!
*As I was writing this, my mind went back to my childhood days. My grandfather would read to me and whenever he came across a lengthy word he would just say ‘longword’ instead ond carry on!
