A bit of nonsense …

for Friday Fictioneers

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chinese-takeaway.regular (10).

 

A bowl of chicken noodle soup

number 24

then I ate a 68

I needed something more

 

Beef in black bean sauce it was

tender dark and nice

with a bowl of 146

special egg fried rice

 

I also had a seafood dish

number 47

Massive prawns with cashew nuts

I thought I’d gone to heaven!

 

Spare ribs and a bowl of duck

4 and 87

A tangle of chop suey

number 1–11

 

Then I felt a little full

and so I paid the waiter

Trouble is with Chinese food

You’re hungry two hours later!

 

So I bought a pizza!

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brenda-cox-photoThanks to Rochelle for hosting and to Brenda Cox for the photo.

 

 

Click Froggie to join in the fun.

 

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

A-Z Challenge Day 6

Short stories featuring musical instruments and those who play them!

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bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

oI walked past the bandstand with my friend Rosey. The brass band was playing. It was quite jolly! I’ve often thought it would be nice to be part of one.

’I’d really like a French Horn’ I said.

She said she’d prefer a chocolate eclair and started dragging me in the direction of the cafe. I explained that I was referring to the musical instrument, not pâtisserie française, and in any case, it’s a cream horn. We ended up having coffee and millefeuilles!

‘I’ve always fancied having a toot on a flute’ she said.

I suggested we go to the music store and she could have a try. She said she didn’t want to ruin her lipstick.

‘Actually, I’d quite like a fiddle’ I said.

‘Cheeky!’ she giggled! 

‘Did you know’ I said, ‘the smallest instrument is a pair of finger cymbals and they are used to accompany belly dancers?’ 

‘Whatever you are thinking, don’t!’ she said.

‘What do you call a person who blows a flugelhorn? I asked.

‘A fart-meister‘ she chuckled as she grabbed my arm and dragged me back out into the park.

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Previous posts

A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z

Years past

2020 – Stories featuring obsolete words – Faass

2019 – Stories for children – F

2018 – My Friend Rosey – F

2017 – The village of Amble Bay – F

Click on the letter of the day to revisit.

A-Z Challenge Day 5

Short stories featuring musical instruments and those who play them!

h

aaa1111I can’t describe the feeling I had when standing on stage with my electric keyboard. Notes leaping, hovering and diving, my audience flying with me. They yelled, they clapped, sometimes they wept. Such is the power of music.

I played in smoky bars too, whisky and a cigarette to hand. There, my music competed with chattering crowds. I played loudly, they spoke loudly; in quiet pieces, they murmured. But I loved it.

I play less now. I occasionally entertain old folk and sometimes sit in for the church organist. Music remains my constant companion, though now I consume more than I create.

aaaaaaaaaaaaa

Previous posts

A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z

Years past

2020 – Stories featuring obsolete words – Eaass

2019 – Children’s stories – E

2018 – My Friend Rosey – E

2017 – The village of Amble Bay – E

Click on the letter of the day to revisit.

A-Z Challenge Day 4

aaa111Short pieces featuring musical instruments and those who play them!

dddd

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Tappety tap

Bashety bash.

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Rat-a-tat

Rat-a-tat

Rat a tat

WWWW

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Rumble like thunder

Rattle like rain

..

Thumpety

Bumpety

Bashety

B11

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Tap the cymbal

Clang the bell.

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Ting-a-ling

Ting-a ling

Ting-a-ling

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Faster slower

Louder faint

..

One-2-three

Three-2-one

One-2-three

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Hey, I do believe … it’s … STOPPED!

Yea! Thank goodness for that. You can take your earplugs out now.

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Crash ‘n bang

Bang ‘n crash

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Wallop

and whoosh

and bish bash

B1111

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Nooooo! I’m outa here!

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dr

Previous posts

 B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z

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Years past

2020 – Stories featuring obsolete words starting with D

aass

2019 – Stories for children – D

2018- My Friend Rosey – D

2017 – The village of Amble Bay – D

Click the letter of the day to revist

Sixty one words

 

for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt where the given word is Absurd and the limit, 61 words.

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geovana.regular.

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I’m stuck.

Pardon?

Three down.

What?

This crossword clue. 

Oh!

Preposterous, six letters.

Crazy?

That’s five.

Foolish?

Seven.

Got it, insane!

No, it ends with D

Are you sure?

Yes, assuming nine across is right.

I know, stupid!

You calling me stupid?

No, the answer’s stupid! 

Oh! But no.

Sorry, I’m out of ideas.

Grrrr! I give up. This crossword’s absurd.

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abs

A-Z Challenge Day 3

Short stories featuring musical instruments and those who play them!

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whitep

 

aaa11Claud never sought marriage. But that’s not to say he knows not love.  Oh no.

She stands in the corner of the boudoir. He gazes longingly at her. Her flowing curves, her slender neck. He‘s overcome with passion. Slowly he strolls toward her then tenderly takes her in his arms. He caresses her, strokes her and she softly hums a tune. 

Tomorrow, they go away on tour. In halls and theatres, they’ll entrance and captivate their audiences with their love for one another. 

For it is said,  the cello bears the closest sound to a human voice. 

Play on Claud, play on.

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Previous posts

A  B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z

.

Years past

2020  – Stories featuring obsolete words  starting with Caass

2019  – Stories for children – C

2018- My Friend Rosey – C

2017 – Welcome to the village of Amble Bay – C

A-Z Challenge Day 2

Short stories featuring musical instruments and those who play them!

 

dd

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aaa1The town of Harmony Hill was famed for its musical heritage.  Name an instrument and they had a maestro. From Pauline the pianist to Donald the trumpeter, they had them all.

Bob played the banjo. Bill played the banjo too. They took turns playing in local pubs, at annual events and for private functions. They each had their own set of followers which claimed their banjoist was the finest!

The town’s annual music festival was a huge event. Every musician was given the chance to entertain the crowd. But two banjos? That was too much so the Mayor suggested a playoff to decide whether Bob or Bill should feature next year.

It was held in a barn on Fred’s farm, Bob’s fans to the left, Bill’s on the right. Bob played his signature piece, Bob his. It was impossible to determine who was the most proficient.

The Mayor had an idea. He stood between them, dropped a glove on the floor and declared there would be a duel.

Bob and Bill stood back to back. 

The Mayor stamped his foot and they started pacing away from eachother. 

One, two, three, four … 

The audience was held its breath.

Five, six, seven, eight…  

The atmosphere was electric. 

Nine, ten … 

They both turned. They both strummed the same chord. There was not a split second between them.

The Mayor declared it a draw and announced that they would have to play a duet at the festival. He asked them to choose a piece to play.

Bob looked at Bill. Bill smiled at Bob. Bob nodded, and to thunderous applause, they started to play the obvious choice –  Duelling Banjos!

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b

 

Previous posts

 B  C  D  E  F  G  H  I  J  K  L  M  N  O  P  Q  R  S  T  U  V  W  X  Y  Z

 

Years past

2020  – Stories featuring obsolete words  starting with Baass

2019 – Stories for children – B

2018 – My Friend Rosey – B

2017 – The village of Amble Bay – B

Click on the letter of the day to revisit.

Duelling Banjos

A-Z Challenge Day One

Short stories featuring musical instruments and those that play them.

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zzzzzzz.

aaaThe local Morris Dancers asked me to play my accordion for them. Harold, who usually provides their musical accompaniment, suffered a punctured squeezebox. It’s not really my cup of tea, but I reluctantly agreed.

Twelve blokes in gaudy clothes, funny hats and bells on their legs frolicked around waving bits of cloth in the air. They circled and zig-zagged, hopped and skipped, all having a jolly good time.

I, however, was becoming bored, so I thought I’d have a bit of fun. I started playing faster and faster and faster!

It was so funny! As they gathered pace, they started colliding and treading on each other’s toes. Dick went red in the face, Bob poked Bill in the eye, and Fred elbowed George in his tummy winding him!  

Unfortunately, they suddenly got in a complete muddle and begin tripping each other up, then down they all dropped like a strike in a bowling alley!

I was never asked to play again, I can’t think why!

 

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

Years past

2020 – Stories featuring obsolete words –Aaass

2019  – Stories for children – A

2018 – My Friend Rosey – A

2017 – Welcome to the village of Amble Bay – A

Click on the letter of the day to revisit.

 

A short story …

for Six Sentence Stories where the given word is Gear.

cccy

chHe always aspired to be a famous ventriloquist and longed to entertain the masses in theatres and on television.

In the meantime though, he made do with lugging his gear along to the local shopping centre where he’d stand with one hand up a feathery chicken’s bottom, and the other shielding his mouth. 

He did get a ‘clucky’ break once when he was invited to perform on local radio which sounded like an easy gig given that no one would be able to see his lips moving!

However, he kept forgetting  that he was supposed to talk up close to the microphone not the chicken, which meant the listeners didn’t hear a thing, and as a result he was never invited back.

Recently, after drinking one too many ‘gottles of gear’ he was cautioned for inappropriate behaviour having pinched a girl’s bum. 

He blamed it on the chicken of course, but he didn’t get away with it, so he dumped the dummy and I’ve no idea what he’s doing now.

 

i

Click to find everyone’s sixes!

 

six-sentence-stories

 

a-zThursday sees the start of the A-Z Challenge 2021. I will be posting a story every day except Sundays during April. I’ve chosen to write very short amusing pieces based on instruments and their musicians from Accordian to Zither!

 

A hundred words …

for Friday Fictioneers

 

gggg

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I asked my mate what he thought of my homemade gingerbread men. 

“You can’t call them that,” he said, “they’re gingerbread people”.

“You’re right,” I said, “that’s not pc. Anyway, try one.”

I thought he’d jump at the chance, but no, he hesitated.

“What’s the problem?” I asked.

“Well, eating a person doesn’t seem right, I’d feel like a cannibal”.

“They’re biccies, not bodies!” I said.

He moved one closer to his mouth … then stopped.

“No, I can’t bite its head off”.

“Okay, try the dog-shaped one”

“What? You know I don’t eat animals, I’m a vegetarian!”

I gave up!

 

jennifers-bisquitsThanks to Rochelle for hosting and to Jennifer Pendergast for the photo. 

Click Froggie to join in the fun!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

 

a-zTomorrow (Thursday) sees the start of the A-Z Challenge 2021. I will be posting a story every day except Sundays during April. I’ve chosen to write very short amusing pieces based on instruments and their musicians from Accordian to Zither!