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The locals at The Baaamy Inn were being unusually quiet whilst looking around at the Christmas decorations and listening to the carols playing in the background, until….the door flew open and in came turkey farmer Bob, Bobble to his colleagues, followed by six of his feather pluckers; he always treats them to a drink when they’ve finished the season’s plucking session!

Landlord Len never looks forward to this annual event, for despite reminding them to brush themselves down before coming in, they always forget and within minutes the floor is covered with feathers and people begin sneezing!

“I’ve had a record year for orders”, said Bob, “partly because I was invited along the the local radio channel to talk about my turkeys, this year the pluckers had to work harder then ever so I thought they deserved more than just a drink, and I’m treating them to some of those delicious mince pies that Len still has made to Maggie’s  special recipe!” 

“There was a comedian on that achoo channel the other day”, said Arthur, “and he told a tale about a British cat called achoo  One-Two-Three who challenged a French cat called Un-Deux-Trois to a swimming achoo race across the English Channel, One-Two-Three won because Un-Deux-Trois cat sank!”; it was met with more groans than giggles from his  fellow farmers, so Joker Colin thought he’d seize the opportunity and get punning!

“I told a joke about a turkey achoo but I got told off for using fowl language – my leg’s Favourite channel is the Dis-knee channel – I’ve started a YouTube channel achoo about viruses, I’m a real influenz-er – on the History Channel+1, history repeats itself – if it wasn’t for electricity we’d be watching TV by candlelight – you can cut the sea in half achoo with a sea-saw – Ireland is only one C away from Iceland – mermaids wear seashells because B shells are to small…”OY”, shouted Landlord Len, “you know I don’t ACHOO allow jokes  about ladie’s you-know-whats!”

Over at the knitting circle Natilie was telling them about her annual Christmas Eve tradition of leaving an old sock on the bedpost hoping that Santa Claus, aka her husband, will place something inside it; apparently last year Santa, sorry, hubby placed a can of deodorant in it,  “I told him that if he wants me to smell nicer achoo he should consider popping something fragrant inside it like a bottle of Chanel number five!” – and so the conversations, and sneezing continued until turning out time! 

…but not next week, because there’s something going on that’ll be keeping me busy! Seasons Greetings from all the The Baaamy Inn!

Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Channel

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🎄I’m extremely busy in the run up to Christmas so I’ll be dropping in and out quite a bit. Please don’t think I’ve forgotten you!🎄

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Little Joe was having a lovely holiday at the seaside with his Mummy and Daddy. He woke up early looking forward to another day at the beach, so early that he watched the the sun rise from his window.

‘When I get out of the water I’m dripping wet’, he thought to himself, ‘the sun’s been in the sea all night, it must be dripping wet too.’

Several things had crossed his mind in the last few days. Why don’t fish drown, and why do crabs walk sideways? That’s just silly! Where do sandcatles disappear to?’

The seaside’s so interesting!

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Prod the Frog to visit the squares!

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PHOTO PROMPT © Peter Abbey

.PHOTO PRPHOTO PROMPT © Peter AbbeyOMPT © Peter Abbey

Thanks to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers

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I’ve posted some pictures of my local beach for today’s Wordless Wednesday  – if you’re interested they are HERE! 

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For Wordless Wednesday and bloghops various!

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Arthur arrived at The Baaamy Inn looking a bit weary, “I’ve just had a shed load of cattle feed delivered, far more than I need”,  Babs gave him an odd look and asked him why he’d ordered it and he said, “cos my cattle eat it of course” – “that’s one very hungry cat you’ve got!”, she quipped!

“I’m always hungry”, said Ted, “which is why I’m a bit bulkier than I should be; I thought I’d weigh myself this morning so I stepped on the wife’s scales and I‘m so heavy that I broke the wretched things, she was not impressed and said I had to shed a stone or two, and from now on I’d be on a balanced diet – I said, ‘in that case instead of having just one piece of chocolate I’ll have a piece in each hand’,  you should have seen the look I got!”

George was a bit quieter than usual so Suzie at the next table asked if he was okay, “I had to demolish my shed this morning cos it’s rotting away, when my wife and I were teenagers we used to hide in there and get up to all kinds of stuff behind my parent’s backs, we have such happy memories of it, no wonder she shed a tear when I put the remains of it on the bonfire”, he said.

Babs was staring into her mirror and fiddling with her curls, “I’m beginning to shed some hair, I guess that’s what happens as you get older”, she said; Colin stroked is shiny bald head and said, “losing my my hair has had its advantages, for instance, I’ve saved a fortune on shampoo and trips to the barber’s!”

And he was off; “I know I’m overweight but people shouldn’t make jokes at my expanse –  the only thing to drink when losing weight is lighter fluid – I’m sticking with my citrus diet until June, cumquat May – I would start dieting, but I’ve got too much on my plate – I thought Friday was a sad day, but the next day was a sadder day – when you cross a sad fruit with a sad vegetable and a sad rose you get a meloncauliflower – when a cobra sheds its skin it gets sssss-naked – I found a box of dead batteries in my shed, I’m giving then away free of charge….”

Tomorrow, Landlord Len will climb of of bed at the crack of dawn and put up the Inn’s Christmas decorations, he’ll also decorate the tree which once again has been donated by Arthur who grows and sells them on his farm, there is always one trinklet hanging from a branch that has a special place in his heart, it was made many years ago by his dearly departed Maggie; he’s yet to shed light on why it means so much to him. 

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Shed.

Last week I was very naughty and used 101 words. As promised, I’ve only used 99 today!

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Whilst walking down a breezy back-alley I met Stuart, leaning into the wind with his hand on his head. “Hi Stu”, I said sticking out my hand to give his a shake. 

He took his hand from his head in order to respond, and suddenly his hair took flight! 

We turned to see where it had gone and saw it darting down the alley with four scampering legs poking out of it!  

An old fellow tottered past shouting “Tinkerbelle, heel girl, heel”. Stu joined the chase in pursuit of his crowning glory. 

I wonder if he got it back!

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Click the wig to visit the squares! 

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Thanks to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

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For Wordless Wednesday and bloghops various!

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Most of the shops in our town are independently run. They are a competitive bunch, never moreso than during the run up to Christmas when they compete to see who can come up with the best window display. Here are some of my favourites from this year’s lot!

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Click pics once or twice to take a closer look!

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Despite the snow, the town had been busy. As darkness fell, the street once bustling with shoppers, became deserted.

The evening drew to a close, and the The Cross Inn’s guests left the restaurant and bar, and headed upstairs to their rooms. John turned out the lights after another profitable day. 

From a window he saw a star, the brightest star he’d ever seen. For a moment or two he relished the silence. But a split second later there was a loud banging on the door. He reluctantly opened it.

Shin deep in the snow stood a young man, alongside him a lass heavy with child. “We can’t get home”, he said, “the roads are closed and the trains aren’t running, do you have a room we can use? Please?”

There were no rooms for them at the Inn, it was fully booked. However, John sensed how desperate they were. “Come inside”, he said, “you can stay in the storeroom, there’s a mattress and some blankets in there you can use”.

That night a baby boy was born. Hours later several people appeared, each bearing a gift. A gold bracelet, scented candles, and sweet smelling flowers. 

That was long ago, but the townsfolk talk about it to this day. The street still looks the same, as does The Cross Inn, but something feels different about the place.

Something wonderful happened there that night.

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Image credit; Deep Doshi @ Unsplash

*My initial thought was to come up with a tale about the person staring at her phone, then I noticed the pub behind her and recalled something I wrote many years ago, a modern take on the story of Christmas. That wasn’t it, but it ran upon similar lines!

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Thanks to Sadje for hosting What Do You See?

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…for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt

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“Sorry, the restaurant’s full right now”.

Okay, I’ll  wait”.

“Thanks, take these pizzas to table eight”.

 

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Arthur arrived at The Baaamy Inn covered from head to foot with muck and mud, and absolutely stinking, “Cor blimey, you don’ ‘alf pen-and-ink”, said George using his finest Cockney rhyming slang; “I had a slight accident”, said Arthur, “I was cleaning out the pig pen when I slipped and landed bum-first in a pile of pig’s you-know-what” ; “OY”, shouted Landlord Len, “there’s no way you are sitting on my chair with that filthy backside”.

“I have an idea”, said Ted as he popped his pen in his pocket, “you can sit on my newspaper, I’ve read it from front to back and almost finished the crossword, I got all the clues except the second from last one, eleven letters starting P and end in E” ; “penultimate”, said Arthur, “can I sit down now?”

“I slipped on some ice one Winter and  sprained my ankle”, said Babs, “they were forecasting snow so I needed to get the sheep back into their pen, but there was no way I could cross the meadow and round them up, so I called the Agricagency to hire some help; well, a young lad and my sheepdog Shoggy did it for me, and when he came back to the yard he said he’d gathered all forty in, I said I thought I only had thirty eight and he said ‘you asked me to round them up’!”

Over at the knitting circle, Penelope, or Pen as she’s known to her friends was telling her fellow knitwits about the time she was asked to make a jumper for her nephew’s birthday, unfortunately there was no way she do in time so she cheated by going to the craft shop in town and buying one made by someone else, trouble was, she didn’t notice there was a label stitched inside, and to make matters worse, when she tried helping the lad to put in on, it was too small, “there was no way I could pull the wool over his eyes!”, she said.

“Next year you’ll have to knit him three socks”, said Colin, “because by then he’ll have grown another foot – everyone in the village wears jumpers that are too small, they’re a tight knit community – I couldn’t figure out why a male sheep is called a Ram, then it hit me – I was surrounded by lots of little sheep, it was a lambush – I’m told it takes 3 sheep to make a wool sweater, I didn’t even know they could knit – a nun found knitting to be habit forming – this little piggy drank ten pints of of beer and wee wee wee’d all the way home – the little French piggy went oui oui oui all the way home too – when pigs hurt they use oinkments – my pen broke when I wrote the number 11, two ones don’t make it write – the pen went on holiday to pencilvania – left handed pens are for righting – Shakespeare wrote with pencils, 2B or not 2B…….”

Len’s dearly departed Maggie used to write with a fountain pen, it still sits on the desk where she left it alongside a bottle of ink, some blotting paper and the notepad upon which she’d started to write a poem, one she sadly never got to finish;  soon I’ll say farewell my love, soon be time to go, there’s no need to feel sad my love, there’s one thing that you’ll know,  I’ll always……..and there it ended.

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Thanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Pen.