Keith's Ramblings

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Arthur arrived at The Baaamy Inn looking a bit weary, “I’ve just had a shed load of cattle feed delivered, far more than I need”,  Babs gave him an odd look and asked him why he’d ordered it and he said, “cos my cattle eat it of course” – “that’s one very hungry cat you’ve got!”, she quipped!

“I’m always hungry”, said Ted, “which is why I’m a bit bulkier than I should be; I thought I’d weigh myself this morning so I stepped on the wife’s scales and I‘m so heavy that I broke the wretched things, she was not impressed and said I had to shed a stone or two, and from now on I’d be on a balanced diet – I said, ‘in that case instead of having just one piece of chocolate I’ll have a piece in each hand’,  you should have seen the look I got!”

George was a bit quieter than usual so Suzie at the next table asked if he was okay, “I had to demolish my shed this morning cos it’s rotting away, when my wife and I were teenagers we used to hide in there and get up to all kinds of stuff behind my parent’s backs, we have such happy memories of it, no wonder she shed a tear when I put the remains of it on the bonfire”, he said.

Babs was staring into her mirror and fiddling with her curls, “I’m beginning to shed some hair, I guess that’s what happens as you get older”, she said; Colin stroked is shiny bald head and said, “losing my my hair has had its advantages, for instance, I’ve saved a fortune on shampoo and trips to the barber’s!”

And he was off; “I know I’m overweight but people shouldn’t make jokes at my expanse –  the only thing to drink when losing weight is lighter fluid – I’m sticking with my citrus diet until June, cumquat May – I would start dieting, but I’ve got too much on my plate – I thought Friday was a sad day, but the next day was a sadder day – when you cross a sad fruit with a sad vegetable and a sad rose you get a meloncauliflower – when a cobra sheds its skin it gets sssss-naked – I found a box of dead batteries in my shed, I’m giving then away free of charge….”

Tomorrow, Landlord Len will climb of of bed at the crack of dawn and put up the Inn’s Christmas decorations, he’ll also decorate the tree which once again has been donated by Arthur who grows and sells them on his farm, there is always one trinklet hanging from a branch that has a special place in his heart, it was made many years ago by his dearly departed Maggie; he’s yet to shed light on why it means so much to him. 

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Shed.