for The Sunday Muse
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I don’t know why I agreed to this. Apparently, all I had to do was bend my knees, address the ball, swing the thing, and watch it fly. Easier said than done, I can tell you.
‘Four’ they keep shouting, I’ve not even managed a five! I’ve lost a bucket load of balls, and they are flippin’ expensive. What with that and the entry fee, I shelled out a small fortune.
Okay, that last hit really was a disaster. But the stupid pigeon should have known better than to fly in front of me just as I was brandishing my bat or stick whatever it’s called. 
Mind you, the scattering of feathers down the fairway did make for quite a pretty sight! Amazingly, the poor creature did manage to continue its journey albeit in a somewhat drunken manner.
That’s it, I’ve had enough. I’m going for a well-earned rest in what golfies call the ‘nineteenth hole’. Nineteenth hole? I ask you! It’s just a friggin’ bar for goodness sake and an expensive one at that. Whatever next?
No, it’s darts and snookering for me from now on. Proper sport!
Note: No pigeons were harmed in the making of this yarn.
Poor golfer!
I don’t think he’ll be playing again!
I think so too
FORE! FORE! FORE!
Someone should have explained that to him!
The nineteenth hole collects a lot of retired beginners. 😉
I imagine so!
WordPress still won’t let me like any of your return comments, so “Like”. Now I have to log in to make this comment. Sigh!
I love this–your humor always suits me to a tee! And honestly, I’m not a sports enthusiast–but golf in particular makes me wonder why it’s a huge addiction for many🙄
Thanks so much. Me too Leyde!
😊
I took some golf lessons when I was young. Waste of money. Didn’t like the sport at all.
The closest I got was caddying for a friend – never again!
Golf must be learned young, it’s too difficult to wait until your bones are set in their ways!
I’ll pass your thoughts on to him Mimi!
You took the ordinary and made it extraordinary with your reading, Keith. Golf does seem to be the most pretentious of sports. Thanks for the laugh as you cut it down to size.
I’m sure many lay it for the prestige they feel it offers! Pleased you liked it Lisa, thank you/
You’re most welcome, and I’m sure you’re right.
I feel the same way about golf. The best time I ever had on a golf course was gathering all the scattered balls to keep the course looking tidy – a great pasttime for someone who is OCD. LOL.
Haha, I imagine it is Sherry!
I enjoyed this so much Keith! Brilliantly funny and it is always wonderful to hear you read it. I too am not much for golf! 🤣
Thanks so much for your kind words, Carrie. Golf is not for me either!
This was hilarious! It reminded me of my brother’s frustrations while my nephew tried out golf in high school. 🙂
Thanks, so much. I can only imagine!
your dry humor is wonderful, Keith! and I love the little graphics you included 😀
<3
David
That’s so kind of you David, thank you so much.
ha, I tried golfing once but I was never very good. I do enjoy a bit of mini golf but, I don’t think they have a 19th hole and on some days I could use a drink.
The closest my nearest mini golf has to a 19th is a run-down shack selling dodgy coffee!
Hahaha!! Never did quite get the allure! I’ll stick to mini golf!
Haha! I like where the image took your thoughts. At least in darts the feathers are not attached to a living creature!
This gave me much needed giggles!
This made me laugh out loud! Never could understand the obsession golf holds for so many. And . . . the clothes!