Watch out!


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Today’s under-used words :-


444Ubiquaria
 being everywhere at once

Ulotrichous –  coarse, curly as in hair

Unguiculate –  long, pointed as in claws

Ululate  to howl, wail loudly

 

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It was dreadful.  For years I had to put up with it.  And not just me.  There was a curse upon my neighbours too.

She was ubiquarian.  One minute here, the next there.  Look behind you and there she was.  She’d creep up on people, interrupt their conversations.  She’d peer over folks shoulders as they sat on a bench, and take a bite of their sandwich.  I‘d take a walk and she’d watch me from behind a bush and snarl. 

From her unkempt ulotrichous hair to her unguiculate talons, she made witches look attractive.  She terrified small children who clung to their mother’s legs for fear of what might befall them and frightened away the most vicious of creatures, even my pussy cat.

Some nights she’d ululate like a wild beast.  Windows would rattle, street lights flicker, bats flee.

One morning I was sitting on the toilet reading my morning newspaper and she appeared in the doorway.  That my friends, was the final straw.   I had to divorce her.

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40 thoughts on “Watch out!

  1. msjadeli Apr 24, 2020 / 00:51

    Hahaha I should have seen that coming! Hilarious.

    Like

  2. Shweta Suresh Apr 24, 2020 / 09:49

    Yikes! I wonder how he managed to put up with her for so long! I got three of them today. Great story, Keith. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Suzy Apr 24, 2020 / 11:02

    Ululating is a good reason for divorce. It does sound pretty eerie.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Srivalli Apr 24, 2020 / 14:06

    Oh, man! Such a sad news for her. 😛 I was wondering what inspired a horror tale and there you went with that twist at the end. Super cool.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Anagha Yatin Apr 24, 2020 / 15:16

    Hope it was not acrimonious and you did not have to pay hefty alimony 😉
    PS: Very first thought that flashed in my mind after reading the word ‘Ubiquarian’ was that it seems to be the twin of ‘ubiquitous’ and a cousin of ‘omnipresent’

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Kathe W. Apr 24, 2020 / 16:04

    Stellar story! Love the unexpected ending and you made me laugh! Thanks goodness I wasn’t drinking my coffee. Cheers and I’ll see ya tomorrow!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Arti Apr 24, 2020 / 17:00

    You’ll do well as a divorce lawyer Keith.
    How can a judge agree on any alimony —
    If as fierce as this is your plea?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pradeep Apr 26, 2020 / 13:41

    A good ending, Keith. Enjoyed reading this one.

    Like

  9. CRD Apr 26, 2020 / 18:25

    The only bad part about this post was that it ended!

    You’re a wonderful storyteller!

    Liked by 1 person

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