A bit of banter!


Today’s words :-


Timbertoe – someone with a wooden leg.

Tickle-pitcher – a thirsty boozer.

Tope – drink to excess

Trig- neat and smart

Tatterdemallion – a man with his clothes in tatters.

Tapster – a person who serves at a bar

Tocsin – an alarm bell or signal




They’re a funny lot in The Ramble Inn. A more diverse crowd you couldn’t imagine.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzTake ‘One-line’ Will for instance.  He never actually says hello, he just greets you with something like,  “Where do wasps go to when they are ill? A waspital!  Get it, get it?”  Then he moves on!

He went up to Timbertoe Ted the other day.

“I met a bloke with a wooden leg called Smith”  he said  “I don’t know what his other leg’s called! Get it, get it?” Ted was not amused!

There’s Same-again Sam who’s a bit of a tickle-pitcher who tends to tope,  Imogen the Immaculate who’s a right trig and Mean Maurice who’s skinny as a rake and dresses like a tatterdemallion despite being worth a fortune.  The other day Will greeted him with, “a skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.  Get it, get it?” 

A young lady called Rosey often pops in, you may just have heard of her!  Knowing she worked at the local school Will said  “If you add 568.5 to 764.8 then subtract 647.6 what do you get?  A headache!  Get it, get it?”

As for Misery Mike,  he never smiles. Will has tried and tried but without success … until last night!

It was almost closing time so Buxom Betty the tapster rang the tocsin. Suddenly she yelled  “Will, how dare you”,  and slapped his cheek! 

“That wiped the smile off his face”  shouted Misery Mike breaking the silence, a smile creeping across his face. Then he laughed … Misery Mike actually laughed!  So did everyone else.  

Except for One-liner Will. 

Whatever the joke was she obviously didn’t get it – but he did, well and truly!


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44 thoughts on “A bit of banter!

  1. moondustwriter Apr 23, 2020 / 01:22

    Keith I love the way you can take these words and give them a character to show off the words. In this case multiple characters.
    glad its tocsin and not toxin.
    Cheers my friend

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Christine Goodnough Apr 23, 2020 / 05:37

    Well told and rather realistic. I’ve even met a few like One-line Will: in public they’re jokers; alone they’re depressed.

    A fondness for tickling the pitcher might be like a fondness for tickling the ivories? I’ve been reading Wodehouse again and picking up few new words; between you and Bertie my vocab will be enriched this month. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. soniadogra Apr 23, 2020 / 05:38

    Totally, thoroughly enjoyed. You are witty and fun to read. Plus all the additions to the personal dictionary are the cherries on the cake.
    Though Will was a little mean today.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pradeep Apr 23, 2020 / 07:16

    I have been reading your posts, Keith. A great craft to weave those words into a story. Lovely. Enjoyed this banter! Tickle pitcher is onomatopoeic.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Suzy Apr 23, 2020 / 07:52

    Tatterdemallion is my favourite word from this story. Interesting characters and tremendously entertaining.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Shweta Suresh Apr 23, 2020 / 08:47

    Haha! One-liner Will had it coming. Great story, Keith. I was able to guess almost all of them today. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Arti Apr 23, 2020 / 11:17

    Hilarious! Very, very entertaining. Cheers Keith.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Frédérique Apr 23, 2020 / 12:40

    I’m always amazed how you can mix those old words together, into a story 😉 Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Srivalli Apr 23, 2020 / 13:19

    Ha! Such fun. I almost thought Rosey would put Will in place but Mike did. 😀 Cool. Your collection of words is awesome, Keith.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Liam Apr 23, 2020 / 16:08

    I like “tickle-pitcher.” It almost feels athletic.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Shilpa Garg Apr 23, 2020 / 16:11

    Hahaha! Loved the different characters… so unique and fun. I actually love One-Liner Will. But he had it coming 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  12. 15andmeowing Apr 23, 2020 / 18:21

    More new words for me 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Kathe W. Apr 23, 2020 / 18:56

    Oh you are a crafty one with these words…had me tittering right off my toadstool….

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Stu Apr 23, 2020 / 19:41

    Welcome to the League Of Bad Jokes. Battlers of the Booze. Champions of The Pour. Friend to every drink, no matter it’s source. this was funny

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Unishta Apr 25, 2020 / 12:55

    My dad and his friends who were officers in the Indian Navy used to often refer to a certain fellow officer as a toper….. So I’ve heard this word for over 60 years now!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings Apr 25, 2020 / 15:04

      Really? I’d never heard of it before finding it a few days ago whilst researching – much the same as most of the words I’ve used this month!


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