Today’s words :-
Timbertoe – someone with a wooden leg.
Tickle-pitcher – a thirsty boozer.
Tope – drink to excess
Trig- neat and smart
Tatterdemallion – a man with his clothes in tatters.
Tapster – a person who serves at a bar
Tocsin – an alarm bell or signal
They’re a funny lot in The Ramble Inn. A more diverse crowd you couldn’t imagine.
Take ‘One-line’ Will for instance. He never actually says hello, he just greets you with something like, “Where do wasps go to when they are ill? A waspital! Get it, get it?” Then he moves on!
He went up to Timbertoe Ted the other day.
“I met a bloke with a wooden leg called Smith” he said “I don’t know what his other leg’s called! Get it, get it?” Ted was not amused!
There’s Same-again Sam who’s a bit of a tickle-pitcher who tends to tope, Imogen the Immaculate who’s a right trig and Mean Maurice who’s skinny as a rake and dresses like a tatterdemallion despite being worth a fortune. The other day Will greeted him with, “a skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop. Get it, get it?”
A young lady called Rosey often pops in, you may just have heard of her! Knowing she worked at the local school Will said “If you add 568.5 to 764.8 then subtract 647.6 what do you get? A headache! Get it, get it?”
As for Misery Mike, he never smiles. Will has tried and tried but without success … until last night!
It was almost closing time so Buxom Betty the tapster rang the tocsin. Suddenly she yelled “Will, how dare you”, and slapped his cheek!
“That wiped the smile off his face” shouted Misery Mike breaking the silence, a smile creeping across his face. Then he laughed … Misery Mike actually laughed! So did everyone else.
Except for One-liner Will.
Whatever the joke was she obviously didn’t get it – but he did, well and truly!