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Now and again they have a comedy night at The Baaamy Inn when the locals have a go at amusing their fellow imbibers by telling jokes with varying degrees of success, in fact they had one last night.
Farmer Fred was first to grab the microphone and said, ‘I know how to win a farm ladies heart … attract her’, which was greeted with stunned silence until Arthur yelled, ‘I got it, a tractor’ causing a gaggle of groans, then in a second effort to gain a laugh Fred said he’d watched a movie about farm life but it was a too grainy and the plot was corny – then he gave up!
Village copper PC Peacock was next, he usually gets a giggle or two especially from dodgy-deaing Dave who’s keen to keep him side, and he said that he saw a lady driving a car while knitting the other day and when he shouted ‘pull over’, she said ‘no, it’s a scarf!’
The ladies from the knitting circle were in stitches over that, so they thought they’d have a go; ‘a cat swallowed a ball of wool and had mittens!’ said Kate; ‘a nun became addicted to knitting’ said Nora, ‘the needles were habit forming!’.
Then it was back to the farmers again, and Colin’s usual high speed rendition of one-liners; ‘a pig was in pain so I gave it some oinkment, a cow jumped over a barbed wire fence, it was an udder disaster, my corn was listening to me, it was all ears …….
‘Time ladies and gentlemen please’ yelled Landlord Len, ‘ten to eleven’ joked Gladys, ‘ I know, which is you need to finish your drink my dear, you must ‘ave an ‘ome to go to’; ‘Bill has’, she replied, ‘he’s got two gnomes on his front lawn, but why don’t you let all have one for the road?’, then as Len glanced at PC Peacock who was fast asleep in the corner, he said – ‘oh, why not?
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Thanks to GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s prompt word is Heart.
Boom
A boomerang entered the The Baaamy Inn and Landlord Len said ‘I thought I threw you out’!
You know I always come back!
So bad it’s good! Thanks for the laughs!
Exactly the reaction I was hoping for!
(the one about knitting…lol)
https://youtu.be/oShTJ90fC34?feature=shared
Thanks for that link, there are some cracking jokes in the comments!
LOL..the corn was all ears…. Thanks for the great laughs Keith. Many good ones in this story…
My pleasure, Suzette!
And first place goes to Kate!
I’d agree with that!
They were in rare form!
Weren’t they just!
Hilarious jokes. Loved the knitting jokes.
Thanks Sadje, I like knitting yarns!
😂😂😂
Delightful – especially the knitting nonsense!
Should I knit? I think knot!
Couldn’t help smiling through the post 😊
I’m really pleased, thanks so much!
Hahaha! We can’t help but laugh after we groan 🙂
I hoped to have you in stitches, but you probably think I’m a knit wit!
You’re such a card, you should be dealt with!
The pull over one got me 😂
I’d like to think it was true!
Oh good god, Keith. That pub ought to stay open all night!
love coming here to share a laugh