My six

For Six Sentence Stories where the given word is Wrap.

I’ve been sitting on a story I  originally posted in 2010, waiting for the opportunity to give it another outing. It only received two comments back then, so clearly not many read it. It uses a variant of this week’s word: wrap has become unwrapped – I beg your forgiveness!


They were a devoted couple, a single soul in two frail bodies but when his flame went out like a candle in a breeze, she was left in darkness, alone, so alone.

Many years ago, a disagreement with their daughter escalated into a row about a boyfriend they considered unsuitable, and when boyfriend became husband, they weren’t there to share the happy day.

They heard about the birth of their grandchild through a friend, but despite their pleas, their daughter refused to let them see her,  and the longer it went on the more unlikely it became that a reconciliation could take place.


When the nurse swept in to get her ready for bed, he dragged closed the curtains with a cheery good evening and found her sitting in her chair, on her lap a partly unwrapped package which he recognised as the one he saw carried through the foyer earlier by a teenage girl with her mother. 

Her eyes were closed, and there was a hint of a smile on her face, a face that seemed younger than it had yesterday; it was a moment or two before he realised she had gone, gone to be with her beloved husband.

Suddenly the package fell to the floor with a clatter, he picked it up, dropped the pink sparkly paper and held in his hand a silver frame, a frame around a  photograph of a teenage girl and her mother.






Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting. 


27 thoughts on “My six

  1. Suzette Benjamin Feb 23, 2023 / 14:08

    A heart tugging story, Keith. Well penned. There is an energy of hope in the story mixed in with the sadness. Perhaps that’s how life really can be sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Christine Goodnough Feb 23, 2023 / 14:26

    Today’s tale made me sniffle…a lifetime of love never shared, even if they came around on the last day. It’s so true to life in some cases — even one in my husband’s clan.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 23, 2023 / 16:20

      Having a really close family, I can’t imagine how it feels, and I feel sad that your husband’s family have endured such an experience.


      • Christine Goodnough Feb 24, 2023 / 01:20

        A distant cousin we met one time. But her story was sad. Their son died young so the DIL raised the girl by herself, and this DIL poisoned her daughter against his parents. Very sad.


  3. Frank Hubeny Feb 23, 2023 / 14:42

    It seems there was a reconciliation between mother and daughter at the very end. Beautifully told story. I especially liked your description of her husband’s death: “when his flame went out like a candle in a breeze, she was left in darkness, alone”.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Sadje Feb 23, 2023 / 15:34

    Humans are so hard hearted at times. A lovely story Keith. I’m glad you shared it again. Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

  5. clark Feb 23, 2023 / 19:44

    Expertly crafted story, Keith. Causing a tale familiar to all to draw in the Reader and no let them go without paying the emotional price exacted in a poignant ending… not easy.
    Hats off, yo hats off

    Liked by 3 people

    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 24, 2023 / 12:02

      Thank you for your generous words, Clark. I’m delighted it seems to have achieved the desired effect.


  6. Liz H Feb 23, 2023 / 21:07

    At long last, she rests in peace, a rift healed. This was lovely–so glad you re-published this!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The Sicilian Storyteller Feb 24, 2023 / 11:02

    Oh, Keith. This touched me so deeply. A sad tale so gently written, one of grief and regret yet full of hope and joy. So pleased to know that in the end those beautiful feelings were unwrapped and revealed before it was too late. A gorgeous write, Keith. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings Feb 24, 2023 / 12:50

      Nancy, thank you so much for your comment, we can only hope our stories have the desired effect so your words are both encouraging and valued.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. marja Feb 25, 2023 / 03:07

    Oh my what a touching story You got me into tears Keith. Beautifully written and spoken


  9. Tom Feb 25, 2023 / 14:33

    Very moving, Keith… well written!


  10. GirlieOnTheEdge Feb 26, 2023 / 16:32

    “only received two comments”!
    How on earth does a reader not come away with a slightly wet cheek and renewed sense of priority after reading this, Keith!
    Such a poignant telling of a side of real life that sadly, too many participate. I love the ending for showing it is never too late to forgive, never too late for love.


  11. Dawn Feb 27, 2023 / 13:48

    Sadly beautiful….well done, Keith! 💞💞💞


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