A wet one

for Sammi’s Weekend Writing Prompt where the given word is Yard, and the limit, 83 words.

For the uninitiated, Yard of Ale glasses have been around since the 1700’s and were originally used for handing beer up to stagecoach drivers, and also for making ceremonial toasts.

41ZIu+SbWcL._AC_Nowadays the Yard of Ale Contest is played in pubs all over England. You have to drink the entire yard, 2.5 pints in the quickest possible time. Due to the shape of the glass, the beer can’t escape the bottom of the bowl until the glass is tipped right up which can be fairly perilous!

 

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Welcome to the Yard of Ale Contest!   

First up, it’s George. 

Glug-glug-glug-glug … sigh!

Thirty-five seconds, congratulations!

Next, Fred.

Slop-slop-slop-slop … phew!

Twenty-nine seconds, great!

Now for Benedict.

Sip-sip-sip-sip … mmmm!

Three minutes, forty. How gentlemanly!

It’s your turn, Molly.

Whooooosh … yea!

Fourteen seconds, incredible!

Where’s Keith?

Me? Noooo!

You, yes!

No!

Yes!

Okay then, here goes.

Splish-splash-splish-splash-splosh … gasp! 

Sorry mate, you spilt more than you swallowed. Disqualified.

 

At least I tried. I got drenched, but I tell you what, it’s done wonders for my hair!

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Back in 2017 I wrote about such a contest when a competitor managed to get his false teeth stuck in the yard glass! If you’re interested, it’s HERE!

27 thoughts on “A wet one

  1. Denise's avatar Denise September 11, 2021 / 16:15

    I learned something new. I’ve heard of a ‘yard of ale’, but never knew what is was. I never drink beer because I am allergic. One bad reaction was more than enough for me.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings September 11, 2021 / 17:09

      I can imagine it was! The only bad reaction I get is to a pint too many. Cheers Denise

  2. Christine Goodnough's avatar Christine Goodnough September 11, 2021 / 16:54

    Interesting history. I’m trying to imagine a stagecoach driver drinking his ale from one of these while jerking over bumpy country roads and cobblestone streets.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings September 11, 2021 / 17:12

      That’s an interesting image! They would have been used when stopping at coaching inns, far easier to handle when standing still!

  3. pensitivity101's avatar pensitivity101 September 11, 2021 / 17:01

    I bought a half yard of ale for ex partner as a novelty Christmas gift one year, though he preferred lager. The first half he got wet, the second and every one thereafter he didn’t spill a drop. I lost count after 10.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings September 11, 2021 / 17:16

      I’m impressed! There’s definitely an art to it. I had a couple when I ran my pub and now wish I’d taken one when I left!

      • pensitivity101's avatar pensitivity101 September 11, 2021 / 19:01

        Maybe I should add he was a alcoholic and as long as his mates were paying, he would drink ’em.

  4. Sadje's avatar Sadje September 11, 2021 / 18:28

    Good hair is better than winning!

      • Sadje's avatar Sadje September 12, 2021 / 14:43

        Cool.

  5. hilarymb's avatar hilarymb September 12, 2021 / 09:12

    Hi Keith – creatively wet … well done … fun story – and good to pass on our ancient ways. Happy sunny sunday – cheers Hilary

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings September 12, 2021 / 14:23

      Thank you, it is indeed Hilary. Right now the sun is tempting me to wander along the seafront!

  6. poetisatinta's avatar poetisatinta September 12, 2021 / 17:45

    We had the same idea – But yours was in 83 words unlike mine!

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings September 13, 2021 / 10:20

      It seems we did! It’s a great tradition and enormous fun!

  7. Lorraine's avatar Lorraine September 13, 2021 / 04:07

    “Oh those quirky Brits.” I’m sure there’s an American equivalent! Just can’t imagine John Wayne downing one in Doge City! (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings September 13, 2021 / 10:22

      Now that I would love to see!!! Cheers Lorraine.!

      • Lorraine's avatar Lorraine September 13, 2021 / 10:26

        Maybe it’s happening in an alternative reality/universe. You never know . . .

  8. Tessa's avatar Tessa September 15, 2021 / 03:26

    Great story. That would be me, spilling more than I drank!

      • Tessa's avatar Tessa September 24, 2021 / 23:50

        That is how I eat LOL! Spilling more than I eat.

  9. Bill's avatar Bill September 15, 2021 / 16:21

    Again and again, you never fail to entertain us. The whole thing. Great!

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings September 16, 2021 / 16:10

      You say the nicest thinks Bill, I can’t thank you enough!

  10. floweroutoflife's avatar floweroutoflife September 15, 2021 / 19:05

    Well done Molly, that’s some impressive glugging…

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