A hundred words …

for Friday Fictioneers

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00000000000000000000000

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There’s something wrong with this wretched phone.

As you know, I’m an Adonis but the camera thinks I’m grotesque.

In my first selfie, I looked like the back of a bus. Actually, it was a picture of a bus because that about-turn button chose not to work.

As for texting, I received an unfathomable one from Rosey.

how u. seein j tomoz. 4t u mite cum

It has a mind of its own because when I carefully replied, this is what it sent –

Watch massage a boot? I dead nut undertake it 

Like I said, there’s something wrong with this horrible phone.

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aaaaaaaThanks to Rochelle for hosting and to Roger Bultot for the photo.

Click Froggie to join in the fun!

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56 thoughts on “A hundred words …

  1. Sadje's avatar Sadje July 28, 2021 / 12:45

    Haha! These texts are fantastic

      • Sadje's avatar Sadje July 28, 2021 / 14:07

        You’re welcome

  2. trentpmcd's avatar trentpmcd July 28, 2021 / 13:06

    Hate it when the smart phone is smarter than me… but it seems it doesn’t take much for some people.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings July 28, 2021 / 14:08

      I’d like a semi-smart phone, mine has so many features that are of no interest to me – I’m sure they’re put there just to confuse me!

      • trentpmcd's avatar trentpmcd July 28, 2021 / 18:07

        I do OK with smart phones until they think they are smarter than me. I hate, hate when the spell check does to me what it did to the person in your story…

      • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings July 29, 2021 / 13:46

        Unfortunately, you often spot it too late!

  3. rochellewisoff's avatar rochellewisoff July 28, 2021 / 13:54

    Dear Keith,

    I missed my weekly portion of magic from you last week. Hope the camping went well. As for texting. It’s best to disable autocorrect. We’re all tired of its shirt. Thanks for the smiles.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings July 28, 2021 / 14:09

      Thanks, Rochelle, and yes, the camping was marvellous. See what you dud there!!!

  4. Ain Starlingsson's avatar Ain Starlingsson July 28, 2021 / 14:02

    Behind that sharp humour lies a commentary of today’s world…

  5. msjadeli's avatar msjadeli July 28, 2021 / 16:22

    Texting is one of my least favorite things but it’s what my kids use so there ya go. As far as selfies go, consider yourself blessed you aren’t good at it. People hooked on selfies are insufferable!

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings July 29, 2021 / 13:58

      Like you, I have to text and Whatsap because that’s the way our kids, and their kids, communicate! I’ve never understood the need to take a selfie!

  6. granonine's avatar granonine July 28, 2021 / 19:17

    Great stuff, Keith. I hate texting, partly because my English-teacher soul is horrified by what it has done to our language 🙂

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings July 29, 2021 / 13:44

      Me too, there’s a whole new laguage out there. LOL!

      • granonine's avatar granonine July 29, 2021 / 16:16

        Ha!

  7. Dale's avatar Dale July 28, 2021 / 20:42

    What the fork? It`s hard enough to understand today’s “yutes” and their texting lingo… add auto-correct and you’ve a whole nother side of the fun. Selfies? I try to avoid them – can’t understand those who feel the need to share their mugs, butts, boobs ad naseam…
    Excellent one 🙂

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings July 29, 2021 / 13:41

      Language Dale!

      I’m with you on selfies, I don’t even like having to have a profile picture!

      When I go on my travels, there’s inevitably a group photo at the end of the trip and I always try to hide!

      • Dale's avatar Dale July 29, 2021 / 15:15

        My apologies… 😉

        Ii don’t so much mind being included in photos. With Mick’s death, it’s like I don’t exist anymore (as I take all the pictures).

        It’s the self-promotion that drives me batty.

      • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings July 29, 2021 / 19:42

        You should wash your mouth out with soup!

        I can fully understand why you’d wish to be in photos, it makes perfect sense.

  8. pennygadd51's avatar pennygadd51 July 28, 2021 / 20:42

    Autocorrupt does its deadly work, massacring the language. Well-focussed humour, Keith.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings July 29, 2021 / 13:30

      What an excellent word to describe it! I wonder what it would suggest if I was to type that in!

  9. Danny James's avatar Danny James July 28, 2021 / 21:17

    Understand that! Apple transcriptions are a hoot sometimes. I received one from my doctor…”Doctor Running Under Foot”…

  10. Christine Goodnough's avatar Christine Goodnough July 29, 2021 / 01:58

    Looks like we’ve all been there. I disabled auto-correct for awhile, but it turns out that I (blush) make as many mistakes as auto-correct, so it was sick of one and half a dozing of the other. 😉

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings July 29, 2021 / 11:41

      Same here Christine! Auto-correct is creating a new language of its own! Think yew!

  11. jenne49's avatar jenne49 July 29, 2021 / 10:31

    Oh Keith, what a wonderful portrayal of the (slightly) older person’s relationship with the mobile phone. I’m sure we can all relate to that! Fabulous! (Incidentally, I have a friend whose husband was called Rex. I once sent her a message: Was Rex good? I leave you to imagine the text she actually got!)

  12. GHLearner's avatar GHLearner July 29, 2021 / 17:06

    I’m laughing so much, my stomach hurts. Perfect. Sounds just like the texts my phone produces.

  13. plaridel's avatar plaridel July 29, 2021 / 17:08

    fat fingers seem to get in the way. a bigger phone might help. 🙂

  14. Brenda's Thoughts's avatar Brenda's Thoughts July 30, 2021 / 01:27

    I truly believe my phone has a mind of its own. And, it’s determined to drive me insane. Clever story as always!!

  15. James McEwan's avatar James McEwan July 30, 2021 / 08:49

    Great stuff. We are all guilty of not bothering to learn how to use the features of the gadget, and end up with a sort of learning like osmosis. Then it happens, the Mobile Phone takes over we become lost without its constant presence and guidance, we surrender to cyber space.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings July 30, 2021 / 10:22

      Spot on James! As far as I’m concerned it’s a necessary evil!

  16. Russell Gayer's avatar Russell Gayer July 30, 2021 / 17:07

    Gud 1, Keith. I have a problem with all the abbreviations (hieroglyphics) people use today. I takes a teenager to decode the messages for me.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings August 1, 2021 / 11:42

      I could do with one of those to help me! THX Russell.

  17. Michael's avatar Michael July 30, 2021 / 20:10

    Even the way my phones shows the time confuses me. So all the docks around here smile

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings August 1, 2021 / 11:40

      Me too, you can’t beat hands and numbers especially at ten to two!

  18. draliman's avatar draliman July 31, 2021 / 07:08

    Yep, it’s definitely the phone… 🙂

  19. Laurie Bell's avatar Laurie Bell July 31, 2021 / 14:09

    Hahahaha oh autocorrect how we hate thee

  20. michaelwynnauthor's avatar michaelwynnauthor July 31, 2021 / 14:52

    Ha, darn that autocorrect. I once berrated my partner by text for leaving Marmite all over the place when she had breakfast. She replied that she didn’t like Marmite. I know that, it’s getting the message to my daughter that I was having the problem with.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings August 1, 2021 / 11:36

      Oh dear, I hope you got it sorted out! Autocorrect is a bit like Marmite – love it or hate it!

  21. Nobbinmaug's avatar Nobbinmaug July 31, 2021 / 19:47

    That’s exactly why I don’t take selfies. Autocorrect should be all the warning we need about sentient AI.

  22. Woman walking Max's avatar Woman walking Max August 1, 2021 / 14:55

    very witty Keith ! Predictive text and me don’t get on. Will my friends think I’m daffy ? No more than usual I hope LOL

  23. Lorraine's avatar Lorraine August 2, 2021 / 08:03

    When I dictate a text on my phone, for some reason, autocorrectum turns at least one or too words into bawdy parts, so I understand your ggrr!

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