Keith's Ramblings

,

,

Arthur was chatting with his fellow farmers at The Baaamy Innn, ”I was standing next to a foreign chap at the bar the other day, his English wasn’t too good and Len poured him about three drinks before giving him the one he actually wanted, anyway, he looked at me and said something like ‘hollow, how you is?’, I said, ‘hello, very well thank you how are you?’ and he said, ‘no, I mean who is you?’, so I said, ‘Arthur, who are you?’,  and he said, ‘velly well thankoo’, then he put a £50 note on the bar and walked off with all three drinks!”    

“You see that bloke over there with the hollow expression on his face”, said Ted, “he looks as miserable as sin, I smiled as I walked past him and he just gave me a dirty look which is odd, because yesterday he was sitting in the same place chatting with people all aound him, life and soul of the party, I even heard him say that his librarian’s favourite drink is tequila mockingbird, beat that Colin!”; Babs laughed and said, “that’s Jim, Ted, the guy you saw yesterday was John, his twin brother!”

Bert took part in the pub’s carved pumpkin competition on Saturday, and his mates where curious to know why he hadn’t seemed particulaly excited about it, “because it was a hollow victory”, he chuckled, “which reminds me, it’s Guy Fawkes Night tomorrow and I expect my creation will end up on the bonfire with the all the losers; I can’t wait to see the fireworks, Len always puts on a good display – mind you, the way things are going with AI, he wont need to much longer, he’ll just make do with a hollow gram or whatever it’s called” – Suzie at the next table leapt to her feet, “remember, remember the fifth of November, gunpowder treason and plot…”

Vince from the vineyard walked in and joined them, “I just had a round of golf, it was going quite well until I wacked a ball into the hollow, I went down to hit it back on course and you won’t believe what happened, I got a hole in one…”, he was interrupted by a round of applause then he went on to say, “some idiot had left a broken bottle on the ground, I stepped on it and got a hole in one of my shoes just look at it”.

Colin’s moment had arrived, “firework sales have rocketed – the cop saw two shoplifters, one stole batteries and one stole fireworks, he charged one and let the other off – Happy Hollowing said the pumpkin – my dad’s mum said she felt empty inside, she’s a hollow gram – an empty jar of Cheeze Whiz is Cheese Was – don’t write on an empty stomach, use paper – he talks like an empty tip jar, non cents – I always keep an empty milk bottle in the fridge incase someone wants black coffee – empty batteries cost nothing, they are free of charge – the room full of married couples was empty, not a single person there  – her empty purse was always the same, never any change in it – not all fairy tales start with once upon a time, some say, ‘if I’m elected….’.”

Len’s dearly departed Maggie was a stickler for making sure the bed was always made perfectly, and for her sake he always ensured there was never a ripple in the duvet cover, and always plumped up the pillows; however, when he climbed in tonight he noticed the pillow alongside his had a hollow in it; “are you there, my love?” he muttered – ‘yes’ , she whispered, ‘it’s been a long time!’ – Len smiled a saucy smile!

.

Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories, where this week’s given word is Hollow