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Farmer Fred was telling his Baamy chums about his vinyl record collection, “I got the box down from the loft, it was full of 78’s and 45’s covered in dust, some are like gold dust, they brought back so many memories but I couldn’t find one of my favourites, it’s by Dusty Springfield, or Rusty Springboard as we used to call her, if I don’t find it I just don’t know what to do with myself”; suddenly the door swung open and in came Dick the Vic’s lad – “at least here’s the son of a preacher man,” quipped Colin!
Babs was brushing dirt and dust from her overalls, “I was standing at the bus stop and one bloke close by was digging holes and another chap was filling them in, there was dirt flying everywhere; I asked what they were doing and the digger said, ‘we’re working’, I asked what at, and the filler-inner said ‘there are supposed to be three of us but the guy who plants trees in the holes is off sick’- then the bus came along thank goodness!”
Ted kept sneezing, “sorry”, he said, “but the missus had me helping her clear out the cellar, you’ve never seen so much – achoo – dust, she complained that –achoo -whenever she uses her old broom her arms ache, so I told her she should try using the car more often; well, the, look I got was dirtier – achoo – than the pile of rubbish she’d built so I made a hasty exit – I’m going to buy her a new one tomorrow, a broom that is not a car!”
Knitwit Natilie is a clean freak, wherever she goes she can’t resist getting down to the knitty gritty by running her finger across picture frames and ledges looking for dusty deposits – even as a kid she was neat and tidy, she said she fancied a job cleaning mirrors when she grew up, it was something she could always see herself doing – however she doesn’t need to carry out her routine in The Baaamy Inn as Landlord Len keeps everything in pristine condition in accordance with one of his dearly departed Maggie’s dying wishes.
Colin had, as usual been listening in, “my wife’s mind is cleaner than mine because she changes it more often – her jokes are like vacuum cleaners, they suck – I saw two cleaners kissing, ‘get a broom’, I said, – I met a nun who starts her day by walking around in mud, such a dirty habit – as an ex-hippie I think dirt is groovy, man, I really dig it – I’m obsessed with buying Beatles albums, I need Help – I bought a recording of wasps buzzing but it didn’t sound right, then I realised I was playing the bee side – I’m going to collect records, it’s my decision and that’s vinyl – I was pulled over and asked if I had a police record, I said no, but I have a couple of albums by Sting – ‘cash-ew’, said the nut when it sneezed – undertakers don’t sneeze but they’re always coffin – I keep sneezing and singing My Way, I’ve got the crooner virus – I don’t have to sneeze loudly, a-choos to – birds dust their houses with feather dusters – it’s said that you are dust and you shall return to dust which is why I don’t dust, it could be someone I know….”
Everyone had left, Landlord Len had cleared up and was about to turn out the lights when he spotted some dust on the end of a shelf and in it was drawn a heart, as he went to get his duster Maggie whispered in his ear – ‘let it be Len, it’s just a little fairy dust I found and I wanted to share it with you’.
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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Dust.
I found this for Fred!
“As a hippy…I really dig it. “….ahahaha! We’ll done Keith. This is a masterclass in puns!
Thanks so much, Suzette!
Brilliant as always Keith and a great track.
An all tme favourite of mine! Thanks, Di.
As always this lot never fail to disappoint- great write Keith and lovely to hear from Dusty again 🙌
They’re an odd lot but I like them – I like Dusty too!
Collecting recods and the crooner virus… 😂
Just when I thought the joke landed you hit me with another one.
😂
That’s my plan, Reelika, thanks so much!
“Her jokes are like vacuum cleaners; they suck!” Always so funny, dear Keith. Thanks for the laugh! 😆
I’m pleased you enjoy my weekly dose of Baaaminess, Nancy, thank you so much!
i especially loved ‘get a broom!’
Thanks Beeth, I’m not sure his wife did!
He told her she ought to take the car more often? He’s lucky he got out alive. Thanks for the great visit to the Baaamy!
So true Mimi, he took quite a risk!
Hilarious jokes Keith
Delighted to have amused you, Sadje!
Thanks my friend
Excellently done, as always, Keith. However, all that dust has made me sneeze – a lot. …achoo!!
Me too! Thanks…Chrichoo!
Ted is probably lucky he still has a nose to sneeze through! hehehehe
That’s true!
“she fancied a job cleaning mirrors when she grew up, it was something she could always see herself doing”
excellent
Made sense to me! Thanks, Clark
Great ones from Colin especially “my wife’s mind is cleaner than mine because she changes it more often”.
Thanks, Frank!
First one up – can’t help but think ‘Pulp Fiction” when I hear that song, Keith!
My man Colin is hitting the homers again. Every last one 😆
And then there’s Maggie…
I’d forgotten about Pulp Fiction! So pleased you enjoyed this week’s visit, Denise!