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The bluebells, primroses and tulips signalled that Spring had well and truly sprung in The Baaamy Inn’s garden and Gary had finished getting it looking neat and tidy, all Len needed now were some new benches, the ones with a long table tops and plank-like seats either side, the old ones were well past their best; they still talk about the time Big Bob plonked himself down quite heavily on one sending himself crashing to the ground whilst see-sawing little Lucy up into the air and spilling red wine all down her lovely lace dress!
One of Landlord Len’s pet hates, and he has several, is people sitting staring at their mobile phones, he wished he could block their signal; today the main culprit was Arthur; “I just got a message from my granddaughter, it says, ahem, ‘‘hi how u doin. c-in b tomoz. 4t u mite cum 2. gd. luv Mol’ , well, I hadn’t a clue what it meant so I just tried messaging her back and cos I have difficulty typing I used predictive text – this is what I sent – ‘Hell mule. Watch was yolk massage a boot. I did nut undertake it. Plaice cool me. Are there.’
“My grandson’s learning to drive”, said Ted, “I was telling him how we used to use hand signals before cars had indicators, arm straight out for turning right, round and round when turning left, up’n down when slowing down – which reminds me, the other day Henpecked Harold was driving along when a police car behind him turned on its blues and two’s which he realised was their signal for him to stop; he wound down his window and the cop asked if he knew the passenger door had opened and his wife had fallen out, Harold said ‘thank goodness for that, I though I’d gone deaf!’ “
Over at the knitting circle, Phyllis had overheard the conversation and started telling her fellow knitwits about her mother who’s recently moved into a care home; “she’s having difficulty hearing, so being nimble fingered I though I’d learn a few common phrases in sign language, well, yesterday I signed ‘hello mum, hope you are well’, Deaf Daphne on the other side of the lounge gave me a thumbs up so I knew I’d done okay, however mum gave me a funny look and said it looked like I was having a fit and asked if I needed a nurse – then it dawned on me, just because you have no hearing doesn’t mean you atomatically understand sign language!
She wasn’t the only one listening in to the conversations, so was Colin, “I tried calling my fiance, I got the engaged signal – my friend asked his phone why he was still single and it activated the selfie mode – I don’t get a good signal in the cemetery, it’s a dead spot – the phone went to jail charged with battery, it’s now a cell phone – I dropped my phone in the bath, it’s now synching – German girls all have the same number, whenever I ask them what it is they say 999-9999 – my friend got married under a phone mast, the wedding was odd but the reception was excellent – I took a test waving signal flags and passed with flying colours – the lawyer got pulled over because he didn’t use an attorney signal – sign language is very handy – I know several jokes in sign language that nobody’s ever heard…..”
Len rang the bell, called time and everybody headed homeward; as he closed the door and turned the key in the lock he heard a tapping sound then felt his dearly departed Maggie’s presence in the bar, “they’re not a bad lot, are they Maggie?” he muttered, “they are the closest thing I have to a family now” – ‘except for me’, she whispered in his ear, ‘I’m still your significant other!’
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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Signal.
Nothing like starting my day with a visit to the Baaamy. Arthur has me in stitches- I have no clue what either of them was trying to say! hehehehe
At least you tried – just like Arthur!
Good point to remember: “just because you have no hearing doesn’t mean you atomatically understand sign language! “
Indeed! Thanks Frank.
I wonder if my significant other would think they went deaf too if it suddenly went quiet 😂😂😂 …
I enjoy your blog because it makes me laugh.
Hopefully that’ll not happen!
Thanks so much, Reelika, I’m pleased.
Such a lovely garden around The Baaamy Inn. All those pretty flowers with bluebells, primroses and tulips, just beautiful!
That’s what I thought! Thanks, Chris.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Arthur’s granddaughter understood his message perfectly well! It’s all Greek to me! Too funny, dear Keith 😂
Youngsters and their text speak! A far as I can make out she asked how he was, then said she was meeting ‘B’ tomorrow and hoped he’d come too! Hey, I’m getting good at this! Lol!
Loved Harold’s answer to the cop! Fun one again Keith.
I’ve been waiting for a chance to use it!Thanks, Di.
now here’s something unexpected (adding to the enjoyment of your Six) the difference in hand signals. over here a left was (wait.a.minute! different sides of the road)… ok, crisis averted. we would extend our left arm straight out (perpendicular to direction of travel) to indicate a left turn. for a right turn (here is gets interest because the physical signal is different. here one extended left arm and put a ninety degree on the elbow, hand and forearm upwards huh!
err good Six!!
lol
liked the line “One of Landlord Len’s pet hates…“
I wondered if it would get a reaction from right-hand-drivers! I occsionally use your ninety degree one, usually with two fingers raised in a V!
Heeheehee! A visit to the Baaamy is always just what the doctor ordered (although what his drink order would be I have no clue!).
Something medicinal from Len’s first aid cabinet I imagine!
Thanks so much, Mimi.
the signing attempt!)
You have to hand it to her, at least she had a go! Thanks, Beth.
Predictive text said some hilarious things there Keith. How do you think up these great scenarios. Awesome!
Loved the ending and your jokes