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The regulars at The Baaamy Inn were talking about things that make them cross, Arthur was going on about the way young people keep saying ‘like’ every few words, “I was like, he was like, I don’t like it”, Babs was annoyed at the way people keep mistaking her for a bloke, and Dick the Vic was moaning about someone who asked if he served white wine as well as red at communion services; then he went on to to tell them about his friend Father Finnigan, “he felt cross with someone who entered the confessional box and said, ‘Father priest clergyman cleric, forgive me for I have synonymed’!”
At the next table, Suzie was busily doing a crossword puzzle, and she was getting increasingly cross because she only needed one more word and she was stumped; “Ted,” she said “you’re good with words, what’s seven letter long, starts with O and means, easily understood?”, “that’s obvious” he said, “it may be to you”, she replied, “can’t you at least give me a clue?“
Singleton Sam the sausage maker, was telling them about the attractive young lady that lives in the cottage across the lane from him, “she knocked on my door and said she fancied a bit of fun like going for a few drinks and maybe a curry and asked if I was free, well, I said yes of course, then she said, great, will you look my dog while I’m out?”, “I know who you mean”, said George, “she’s a bit ditsy, I was walking along the river the other day and she was on the opposite bank, she said we should walk together but I said I couldn’t cross to other side – then she said, ’you are already on the other side’!”
Over at the knitting circle Cassie was telling her fellow knitwits that she’d been trying do some cross stitching, “it’s not as easy as it looks”, she said, ”I kept getting in right old muddle” ; “talking of cross stitching”, said Polly, “I had to go to London on the train, and there was a small rip in my blouse so I took some needles and cotton with me so I could repair it on the way, well, the carriage was crowded and I was squeezed up against a man; the the train stopped, he tried standing to leave only to discover I’d accidentally stitched my blouse to his shirt, he was really cross!”
“What happens if you you cross an angry cow with an angry sheep?” asked Colin, “you get two animals in a baaaad mooood – why did the chicken cross the playground? to get to the other slide – a turkey was about to cross the road so the chicken said ‘don’t, you’ll never hear the last of it’ – pirates get angry when people steal their P – pirates have a dating app called Shivver My Tinders – what’s round and angry? a vicious circle – my wife gets cross when our neighbour sunbathes topless in her garden, personally I’m on the fence – the cross shellfish was a frustracean……”
It was just before midnight when Landlord Len bolted the door after another profitable night, as he criss -crossed the bar collecting empty glasses and crisp packets the remembered how Maggie used to love playing Nought and Crosses, or Tic Tac Toe as their American friend called it, she’d take on customers across the bar between serving drinks; whenever she and Len played it they called it Hugs and Kisses!
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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Cross.
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What you did with one word Keith, is superb. I don’t know you come up with these fabulous puns…most of them would scarce cross my mind.
Thanks Suzette, a word with many uses! As for the puns they just keep coming – sometimes with a little help from Google if I’m stuck!
Most excellent, Keith. Happy weekend!
You had me in stitches with the train story
I sewed what you did there Beth!
These stories always make me laugh, dear Keith
…and your lovely comment made me smile, thanks so much, Nancy.
I wonder, if they got three hugs in a row first did they hug, or if three kisses did they kiss?
It’s always a fun night at the Baaamy.
An interesting thought, Mimi!
Great fun, as usual, Keith. 😂
Thanks so much, Chris.
I love how you turned every shade of “cross” into something funny and endearing — the pub banter feels so alive, and that Hugs and Kisses ending really made me smile.
~David
Thanks, David, that is a very usable word! Much of what I write is inspired by the time I spent running a pub quite similar to this one.
very cool 😀
You have done a great job with the prompt word Keith. 👌🏼👌🏼👌🏼
Thanks, Sadje, I had fun playing around with it!
You’re very welcome 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
That sure was hilarious! Not possible to get cross! Thank you for laughs!
Thanks so much with laughing along!
I’ve missed Landlord Len and company! Thank you for the laughter, Keith!