Six Sentences

Keith's Ramblings

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It was just another evening at The Baaamy Inn and Babs was lost in her phone, “I’ve just found an amazing recipe”, she said, “it uses  basil, oregano, cumin, marjoram, fennel, cayanne, tumeric, sage, tarragon, bay leaves, coriander, thyme, pepper, chives, nutmeg, cinnamon, rosemary, cloves, star anise, paprika, dill, ginger, mustard, and fenugreek”; Ted started licking his lips, “that sounds delicious, do you think you could cook me some?” he asked; “I’m afraid I don’t have the thyme”, said Bab’s with a big grin on her face – you should have seen Joker Colin’s reaction!

Suzie at the next table lept to her feet, “I used to love The Spice Girls”, she said, ”Ginger, Sporty, Scary, Baby and Posh”; “they’re probably old ladies by now”, said Ted, “more like Whinger, Shorty, Hairy, Baggy and the one with all those millions in the bank, errr, oh yes, Dosh spice!”

“You’ve not met my new lady friend yet”, said George, “Verity is the spice of my life; she writes poems and I thought I’d surprise her by writing one myself, it’s still a work in progress but so far it goes like this, ahem…

I met her twice and thought she’s nice,

I rolled a dice and won her heart ,

she’s scared of mice, more so lice, 

she can’t eat rice ‘cos it makes her…you know,

she likes tooth paste that tastes of spice, 

it costs a lot but it’s worth the price….

…that’s as far as I’ve got, do you think she’ll like it?”

“My husband says the strangest things”, said Knitter Natalie ”the other evening I was heating up a curry in the microwave and he said we shouldn’t put anything spicy in it because it already spys on us and that’ll make things worse; I said that was nonsense, electrical things don’t spy, then suddenly the Alexa thingamajig yelled, ‘oh yes we do’, and the television started laughing!”; “really?”, asked Polly, “only kidding”, said Natalie as the lamp on the wall behind her blinked!

Once again it was time for Colin tell a joke or two…or three… or more;  “the only spice they don’t have in heaven is cinna-man – a squirrel’s favourite spice is nutmeg – pepper was sentenced to prison for a-salt – most of the Spice Girls can’t buy petrol (gasoline to some of you!) but Geri can – someone threw a spice jar at me, good job I saw it cummin – when garlic gets hot it takes off its cloves – small peppers are not very hot because they are a little chilli – a chef once warned me about herbs, it was sage advice – I rearrange my herb jars because I like controlling the thyme – the guy that wrote that book about herbs and spices is a seasoned expert – what herb is all shook up? Elvis Parsley – you only microwave fish for tuna half minutes – you may think your microwave’s spying, but your vacuum cleaner’s been gathering dirt on you for years…..”

With a week and a day left before Halloween, Landlord Len has been busily decorating th pub with witches hats, spider’s webs and pumpkins, but there was still one thing left to do: after everyone had left he picked up the ghoolie ghost costume and mask that his dearly departed Maggie always wore on the big night in order to spice things up, then he hung in on a hook high up on the wall and said “see you next Friday my love”, before switching off the lights and heading upstairs.

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Spice.

28 thoughts on “Six Sentences”

  1. Violet Lentz's avatar Violet Lentz Oct 23, 2025 / 13:54

    Clever as usual. I do love the time I spend at the Baaamy with your delightful characters every week.

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  2. beth's avatar beth Oct 23, 2025 / 15:08

    I always have such fun visiting the inn with you !

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  7. Dale's avatar Dale Oct 24, 2025 / 01:32

    You went all out on this one! A regular bouquet garni, tell you what!

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  8. Chris Hall's avatar Chris Hall Oct 24, 2025 / 10:33

    Excellently done, as usual, Keith. All those spices – hmm, I have lots of those in my cupboard, I really need to turn some of those out. Far too old (kind of like me😉).

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  9. Debbie D.'s avatar Debbie D. Oct 24, 2025 / 14:51

    So funny, Keith! 🤣🤣🤣 Will Maggie appear on Halloween? 👻🎃

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  11. Sadje's avatar Sadje Oct 25, 2025 / 08:30

    Excellent 6 Keith. Love your clever use of the spice puns

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  12. clark's avatar clark Oct 25, 2025 / 20:14

    fave this week:  “…small peppers are not very hot because they are a little chilli”

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  13. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin Oct 26, 2025 / 15:50

    Oh, you had me laughing throughout Keith. And yes, the vacuum cleaner has been collecting the dirt on us….ahahahah! Priceless! Thank you!

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