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Arthur entered the Baaamy Inn clutching a bulging carrier bag in each hand, “the missus told me to drop by the market and pick up a few bits and pieces” he said, “two pounds of spuds, one pound of tomatoes, half a pound of raspberries, at least I thinks that’s right, I didn’t write a list”; “I remember the time Thick Dick’s wife sent him to the market to get a loaf of bread”, said Ted, “she said if they had eggs, get a dozen, well, they did have eggs so he arrived back home with twelve loaves!”
“My lad’s looking for work” said Babs, “the job market is pretty tough right now, but he did get an offer the other day; he asked the interviewer how much he’d be paid, and the guy said ‘ten pounds an hour to start, rising to fifteen pounds an hour in six months and he was then asked when he’d like to start – my lad said, ‘in six months time!’ ”
Knitmiss Polly was telling her colleagues about the Addley’s down her road at number eight, “she’s pregnant, the baby’s due any time now so they organised one of those baby shower things, it’s going to be a boy and they were still deciding what to call it; someone suggested Marcus, but I said I thought just Mark would be better, Masculine, Astute, Reliable, Knowledgeable, Mark Addley the best, and if he was tall he’s get the highest Marks at school, anyway they finally decided upon a name that’ll make him sound more like a bungling burglar, Rob Addley!”
Landlord Len was trying to think of ways to earn more from his food offering, but instead of marking up his prices he thought he’d go a bit more up market, so he got Chefie Bessie to pick up a book of posh nosh recipes from the library, he chose a few dishes he thought would go down well and added then to the menu – the fact he got in a muddle trying to spell them didn’t matter, no one knew what they were anyway; “he should stick to proper pub”, grub said George, “fish ‘n chips, toad in th’ole, shepherds pie….” – Suzie from the next table leapt to her feet and started to sing, “give us a bash of the bangers and mash my mother used to make!”
That was all Colin needed to set him off – “if Dire Straits robbed a market, they’d get honey for nothin’ and chips for free – beans were John Lennon’s favourite vegetable until he gave peas a chance – vegetable puns make me feel good from my head tomatoes – the snowman was looking at some carrots, he was picking his nose – what vegetables do mailmen deliver? lettuce – a can of coke fell on my head in the supermarket, luckily it was a soft drink – I meant to buy 6 Sprites but I picked 7up instead – President Trump is banning shredded cheese, he wants to make America grate again…..“ – “OY”, shouted Landlord Len, “we don’t discuss politics in my pub”.
Len will have been at the Baaamy Inn for ten years on Sunday, five with his beloved Maggie and five without, and he’s going to mark it by holding a traditional tea party in the garden – cucumber sandwiches, scones with jam and cream, lemon drizzle cake and a thing or two from that recipe book – quite what they are I have not a clue!
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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word in Market.
Keith's Ramblings 
Oh wow, excellently done, Keith! – and fast too!!😊
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I’m out of breath! Thanks so much, Chris!
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A lovely six Keith
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Thank you so much, Sadje. Stay safe.
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The can of coke was a soft drink..Lol. Thank you for a fun read, Keith. Perhaps the menu is just grate as it’s, fancy items may not be apeel – ing or everyone’s cup of tea.
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Pun-elicious, Suzette, thank you!
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You are very welcome, Keith
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Love this Keith.
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I’m pleased, thank you, Di!
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You’re welcome.
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I hope Babs’ lad still has a job offer after that comment. The food at that tea party sounds tasty.
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Hopefully they wanted someone with a sense of humour! Help yourself to a slice of cake…
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Oh, such fun! I’d love to be at the party.
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I’m sure they’d love to have you – they’ll be leaving quite a bit of mess so they’d appreciate you cleaning skills!
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Another thrill packed installment with my favorite pub crew! Always a pleasure 😊
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Thanks, they are a great crowd!
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so much to enjoy here…. but I really liked this the most “Dire Straits robbed a market, they’d get honey for nothin’ and chips for free….” hahahah
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I’m pleased it had the desired effect! Cheers, Prior!
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cheers my friend
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Thank you so much my friend
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The Baamy Inn is the place to go for a good time, Keith! I never leave without a laugh and a smile. A tea party sounds lovely!
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I’m pleased! Thanks so much, Denise.
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fave joke:
“…fifteen pounds an hour in six months and he was then asked when he’d like to start – my lad said, ‘in six months time!’ ”*
Fun Six
Compliments, btw on world(ette) creation… the Inn is now a place I can see in my mind and, like the reverse of seeing an actor in the role of a character in a favorite book, I’m beginning to see them as well.
cool
*I’m not being lazy, in the ‘real’ world here (on the other side of the screen) I cannot tell a to save my life, ‘pparently it carries over into the ‘sphere
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Many of the characters are based on actual people, clients of mine when I ran a crazy village pub surrounded by farmland. So, in my mind they are real!
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