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Yesterday was St George’s Day and Landlord Len decided to celebrate England’s Patron Saint in style, not only did he fly the flag from the pub’s sign, he decided that only things English would be served in the bar, English beer, English wine, English food; unfortunately it rattled some of the regulars, particularly Angus who enjoys a wee dram of Scotch, the knitting ladies who’s tipple of choice is a French Savignon Blanc, and the couple who come in every Wednesday for some of Len’s luscious lasagne.
Midway through the evening it was clear things were not going too well, so Len felt he had no choice than to return to normal and as a result the mood instantly changed; Suzie jumped to her feet and sang “Shake rattle and roll, shake rattle and roll…”, Len was so pleased that he awarded her a Martini, shaken not stirred, a waffle and a sausage roll!
The usual crowd were back this evening and cattle farmer-come-resident-joker Colin seemed to be in a more serious mood, “I’ve got a fly infestation in the dairy”, he said, “flies everywhere, this morning while I was milking Daisy one flew into her ear and when I looked down in my bucket there was a fly floating in the milk”; “oh, that’s awful”, said Arthur, “yes”, replied Colin, “it must gone in one ear and out of the udder!”
Knitter Norma was moaning about her new neighbours, “it was bad enough with the old ones, their twins were forever out in garden shaking their wretched rattles, but that was nothing compared to what we are having to put up with now, the new bloke’s got a drum kit in his shed and we have to tolerate non-stop banging, crashing and thumping”; ”there’s bound to be re-percussions!”, quipped Karen – unfortunately her pun fell on deaf ears!
“I was driving the truck down the lane earlier”, said Ted, “and I heard this rattling noise, well, I looked in my mirror and noticed the sack of grit I was carrying had tipped over and its contents were being scattered in my wake!”; “that reminds me of the time that van came though the village with a load a new books for the library”, said Babs, ”the rear door swung open and a load of theauruses landed on the road, the onlookers were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, dazed, bewildered, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, and perplexed – and the driver was lost for words!”
Colin, aka Comicolin decided to rattle off a few of his jokes – “what papers do my cows read? the daily moos – I won’t tell you how I round up my cattle, you’ve herd it before – seven days without beef makes one weak – my cattle’s favourite Beatles’ song is Hay Chewed – when cows are bored they go to the moooovies…..”; he was still rattling them off as Len called time and they began filing through the door and out into the dark blue yonder … “have I told you the one about….”, he asked as Len shut the door behind him.
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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories. This week’s given word is Rattle.
Keith's Ramblings 
Love the pun about the thesaurus. 😂😂😂
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I’m pleased you liked the quip, joke, wiitticism, wisecrack, Sadje!
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Haha! Yes, absolutely
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Oh, excellent – in every way… and of course, it’s very English (well mostly)😉
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Very! Cheers, Chris
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In one ear and out the udder! 🐮😂
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I really milked it this week!
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Very funny… indeed, we need this in hard times. Have further fun.
Greetings by Heidrun
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We certainly do! Thanks, Heidi.
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Sounds like a fun gathering of Baaamy Inn….lovely share Keith. Thanks for the smiles, I enjoyed the read.
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It’s always fun there! Thanks, Suzette.
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Wonderful!
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Thanks so much, Di.
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Nice one from Colin about that fly going in one ear and out the udder.
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I hoped you’d udderstand it, Frank!
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Re-percussions! You are so very clever. Thank you for always leaving us with six sentences worth of smiles.
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I try! Thanks, Mimi.
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where was cow patty ? why wasn’t she at the inn?
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Haha, I’ll find out and let you know!
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Happy belated St George’s Day! 😂 Sounds like a fantastic day at the pub- once all the regular items had reappeared! 😀 very clever and witty writing as always- love it.
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Thanks so much, it sure was! I used to celebrate it at my pub, and my regulars loved it!
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Another clever bunch of puns. My mind must be too much on politics these days. Your first sentence made me think of US booze pulled off Canadian store shelves — a push-back against new tariffs. Which seem to be up-again-down-again. As Len learned, it can’t be sustained for long. And “Shake rattle and roll” describes news from down South; our neighbours have a new drum and there are lots of re-percussions. 🙂
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Thanks, Christine!
Don’t start me on those tariffs! At least we’ve got off relatively lightly in the UK.
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Oh, master of alliterative punation (made up word as Clark might note, lol). You made it almost impossible to choose a favorite part, Keith! All so funny but I’ve got to go with “I was driving the truck down the lane earlier”, said Ted,…” 🤣
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I was driving the truck down the lane earlier” even with the warning first phrase and being pretty certain what was careening around the paragraphical corner… still made me laugh
excellent Sixifying
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Good story, seasoned with more than a pinch of humor.
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