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Arthur was looking very dapper when he entered The Baaamy Inn, “what’s with the new look?” asked Ted; “well”, Arthur replied, the missus is dragging me along to the knitting circle’s bring-your-bloke dinner party, and needs me to blend in rather than stand out like a human scarecrow, her words not mine, so I’ve been down the town to pick up some charity-shop-chic, I thought I’d find out if you think it’s okay, I was even thinking of going the whole hog and dying my hair blonde!
She also said I have to smell nice, apparently even after a bath I still honk of the farmyard, I pointed out that people come to the countryside enjoy the aroma and she said not yours, you smell of cow dung and pig’s swill; anyway, she took me to the supermarket and shoved into the men’s aisle and told me to get some of that pongy aftershave stuff, I found the samplers, removed my specs and sprayed some on one cheek, some on another and some on me nose – then I saw it – sunflower, they grow on my farm so I thought it would be the perfect compromise so I sprayed some on my chin and it was horrible, all greasy and smelly – then it dawned on me, I’d inadvertently strolled into the cooking oil section and picked up a spray can – I’m almost blind without me glasses on!”
“That reminds me”, said George, “her indoors kept complaining about her broom falling apart, I looked at it and realised it needed a new handle so I went the hardware store and picked up a white pole, a perfect match for the white sweepy part; when I left the shop I put on my sunglasses because it was very bright, and set off along the street, and I couldn’t understand why people kept moving out of my way, one person even offered to help me cross the road!“
Babs said she’d gone ‘fungi foraging’ the other day; “I got a load of wild mushrooms and probably a few toadstools too, took them home, washed them and bunged them in a pan with some oil then started to fry them, they tasted a bit bland so I added some salt, some pepper, and a splash of vinegar but it didn’t help, so I bunged in some garlic and chilli powder and chucked it in all the blender; it must have tasted amazing because the turkeys gobbled it up when I flung it in their food trough!
“Don’t dye your hair blonde Arthur”, said Colin, “stay true to your roots – my blender isn’t working properly, I keep getting mixed results – what did Trump say while drinking his favourite smoothie? mmmmm peach mint – how do camels blend in? camel-flage – bland salad is awful, it needs addressing – I was diagnosed with colour blindness, it came out the green – who’s the smoothest singer? Blender Carlisle” ; that was all Suzie at the next table needed to get her on her feet ; “Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth? Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth!”
After everyone had gone home, Landlord Len went upstairs to the silence of the apartment he once shared with his long lost Maggie; he walked over to the mirror and gazed at himself wondering if she would have liked his new look, his bald head and stubbly chin and cheeks; ‘of course I do’, she said peering over his shoulder before blowing him a kiss and fading away.
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Thanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Blend. I couldn’t resist adding bland, blind and blonde!
– if you missed last week’s session, it’s HERE!
Bless, with the last sentence Keith.
Apart in body, together in spirit. Thanks, Di
You’re welcome.
Apart in body, together in spirit. Thanks, Di
Keith that was perfection. I love the voiceover and the visuals are stellar! I hope you are serious about continuing. Side note: My character for Six is named Arthur too this week! But he has to wait till tomorrow to come out and play.
Thanks, Violet. My Baaamy Inn has kept me busy for ages and end’s not in sight!
Too funny, dear Keith, and your last line was pure romantic perfection. 🥰
Thanks Nancy. In private, Len’s a different person!
Nice ending with that dialog between Landlord Len and his long lost Maggie.
It would take more than her passing to seperate them. Thank you Frank.
Absolutely wonderful, humor, puns and a love story that lasts for ever at the end. A joyous read Keith! Well done.
I’m pleased it ticked all your boxes, thanks, Suzette!
You are a great storyteller Keith!
They’re such a grand crew there. If I ever get to your country, I want a reservation.
You’ll be more than welcome, Mimi!
love the ending
Thanks. Beth!
A lively discussion at the pub.
There’s never a dull moment with that lot!
Yes indeed 😄🤣
damn! that was a good Six Sentence Story
Most kind of you!
Fun, fun, fun, as usual. Love this, Keith!
I’m pleased! Thanks, Chris.
Oooh, poor Len. Missing his misses.
He does, at least she’s still there in spirit.
Always plenty of funny business at the Baaamy Inn!