for Six Sentence Stories where the given word is Machine.
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Here we are again at the Baaamy Inn where Landlord Len is busily toying with his latest acquisition, a brand new state of the art, glitzy, glossy new coffee machine; he’s clutching the instruction manual in one hand whilst the other fiddles with knobs, switches and levers to the sounds of hissing, bubbling and burping; in the meantime Barmaid Brenda is serving coffee to those who request it the time honoured tradition – a spoon of granules from a jar and water from the kettle!
“I went to Starbucks the other day with my clever cousin Stephen, or Proffesor Jones as he’s known to his colleagues” said George, “anyway, he ordered a fancy-latty-flatty something-or-other and the bloke behind the counter asked for his name so he could write it on the cup – ‘Stephen’, said my cuz – ‘is that with a ph?’ asked the guy – ‘no, a phD’, said Stephen, I’ll have you know I am a Doctor of Philosophy’ “.
Meanwhile, Audrey was telling her fellow knitters, or nitwits as they are known, about her new sewing machine; “it’s easy to use, I cottoned on in no time, I’ve already made several things including some fancy panties, you really should see them” – “we’d rather not” shouted Suzie from the next table which had the others in stitches – “Oy”, shouted Landlord Len from beneath his coffee machine, “we don’t discuss lady’s underwear in my pub!”
The farmers have all kinds of machines, ones which plough, some which harvest and others that lift and carry; “I’m at age now when I should begin to take things easy”, said Sheep Farmer Shawn, “so is old Shoggy my sheepdog, so I’m thinking of commissioning a machine that herds my sheep for me, it’ll be robot with a camera attached and all I’ll have to do is sit indoors watching a screen and steering it with a joystick!”
“Talking of clever machines, I’ve got myself a computer”, said Ted, “my grandson’s giving me lessons so I can look things up, write stuff, play games – he’s even shown me this place where you can order stuff from, Thames, Hudson … no, Amazon that’s it, and it usually arrives on your doorstep the next day” ; “apparently” said Colin, “the oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve, it was an Apple with a very a limited memory, just one byte!”
The bemused expressions on others faces suggested they hadn’t got the joke, so he thought he’d have a go with some less technical ones – “my computer was cold because I left Windows open (more blank stares) – my time machine and I are best friends, we go way back – I read a book about machines that dig holes, it was boring – I had a joke about cash machines, but I can’t remember it atm – what do you call a sad cup of coffee? depresso – what’s the difference between a sewing machine and a female jogger? a sewing machine only has one bobbin …… “Oy”, shouted Landlord Len from behind his coffee machine!
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Thanks to Denise for hosting this week’s challenge.
Classic puns Keith 😂😂😂
Delighted to have amused you, Sadje!
🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
What a brilliant write! I do so love a chatty dialogue scene. Thank you for this Keith, you brought a huge smile to my heart!
Thank you so much, I’m relieved to find that my mega sentences made sense!
One of your best Keith……………. still chuckling 😀
That’s nice of you, Di, thank you!
you’re welcome
Love that “time-honoured tradition.”
Over here a farmer would say, I’ve a plough, a swather, a combine, and a forklift (or Bobcat). Some use robots (we say drones) to check their crops, but herding sheep with a drone would be a whole ‘nother ballgame. It would have to bark so the sheep would respect it properly. 🙂
Well, I’ve learned something today! Actually, the whole idea’s barking mad!
🙂
you’re soooo good at these dialogues
Thanks so much, Beth!
You, dear sir, are diabolically hilarious!
I like that! Thanks, Dale!
Of course you do 😉
You had me laughing out loud, dear Keith. A hilarious write! Well done!
I could wish for nothing more! Thank you, Nancy.
LOL! I have to say you sure have an fabulous pun-chant for storytelling woven in with hilarious puns! Well done!
Thanks, Suzette, you say the nicest things!
You are most welcome Keith! Cheers.
It’s always fun to be at the Baaamy. Perhaps Landlord Len needs to borrow Mimi from the Six Sentence Cafe and Bistro, she can show you how to make real Cajun coffee.
A great idea, I’ll suggest it to him!
Oh yes, Mimi would make some great coffee!
plus super puns, of course☺️
I bet she would, nice puns too – hopefuly some cinnamon ones, my favourites!
That’s how I remember making coffee: “a spoon of granules from a jar and water from the kettle!”
Nice reference to that Apple with one byte of memory.
Thanks, Frank. I still make it that way – not all the time, but often!