247 words

Keith's Ramblings

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Tonight’s the night. The night I’ve been waiting for, planning for. The night I’ll exact my revenge on the one who’s wicked deed left me scarred emotionally, physically. It won’t heal my  pain, nor ease the suffering I endure, but it will at least give me the satisfaction of watching him pay the price for what he’s put me through.

It’s Friday. He goes to a prayer group at the church on a Friday. If it’s forgiveness he prayed for tonight, then I’m afraid his prayer’s not been answered. Forgive him? I think not.

What’s the time? Seven fifty-one. He’ll be walking down this street in about fourteen minutes. I’ll stand in this doorway. I’m dressed in black from head to toe, but still, I need to keep clear of that light across the road.

I’m nervous, I can’t deny it. My hand’s sweating as I fidget with the weapon gripped in my palm. Just three minutes more. 

He appears at the end of the street. I pull up my hood. His footsteps echo as he gets closer and closer. Come on lad, come on….

‘Boo’, I shout, bang goes the party popper. I give him a shove and he stumbles into the wall! 

‘Gotcha! Serves you right for making me jump the other day, I’ve still got a bump on my head from hitting it on the doorframe!’

Revenge is sweet I think to myself as I offer him a lollipop on the walk back home. 

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Thanks to Jenne Gray and CEAyr for hosting The Unicorn Challenge

© Ayr/Gray

32 thoughts on “247 words”

  1. Shweta's avatar Shweta Suresh Oct 19, 2024 / 14:47

    Haha. The way you built up the suspense, I thought it would be much more sinister! Good one, Keith. I loved the twist at the end.

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  2. ceayr's avatar ceayr Oct 19, 2024 / 15:12

    Love this, although I had a sneaking suspicion you were pulling a bluff!

    Do I get a lollipop too?

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Oct 20, 2024 / 14:23

      You know me too well, ‘ole chap!

      Next time I fly over France, I’ll drop a ‘pop from the plane for you!

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  4. jenne49's avatar jenne49 Oct 19, 2024 / 16:02

    Nice misdirection, Keith, I thought we were heading for something much more bloody.
    I wonder if he suggested what you might do with the lollipop?

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  6. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin Oct 19, 2024 / 18:51

    That was not the ending I was expecting Keith, Great great storytelling!

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  12. Margaret's avatar Margaret Oct 20, 2024 / 12:43

    Haha. An eye for an eye is still operating here, it seems. Very tense at the start, and I didn’t suspect a thing. Fun.

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  13. Dale's avatar Dale Oct 20, 2024 / 19:07

    He he he… so very glad he didn’t have blood on his hands for this revenge.

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  14. Christine Goodnough's avatar Christine Goodnough Oct 22, 2024 / 14:34

    Great take on the prompt scene. I guess the lollypop was forgiveness. Now, as long as there isn’t a revenge on the revenge coming, or this could end up as a real vendetta.

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  15. R.M. Carlson's avatar R.M. Carlson Oct 22, 2024 / 20:30

    I expected a violent ending! Suspenseful with a great twist, Keith!

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  16. Liz H-H's avatar Liz H-H Oct 22, 2024 / 21:37

    Thus kind of rivalry makes world go round. If only all payback included a lollypop with the warning! 🍭🍭

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