Six semicolons!

Keith's Ramblings

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The regulars at The Baaarmy Inn were quite impressed with the job Len had made of refurbishing the pub, it smelled a little of paint but that was to be expected; he’d skillfully placed beer mats over paint drips left on the tabletops, but the star of the show was the black painted wall panel on which he’d chalked the Dishes of the Day – Tomato Soop (spelling was never his strong point) and Megaburger –  “good job Chef Steph’s got big buns!” quipped Colin.

“You should see mine” said Babs, as the men gazed down at the seat of her chair, “not my buns, my tomatoes, they are bound to win me first prize in their category at the village  Flower and Produce Show on Saturday; “you’ve an unfair advantage” said Arthur, “you’re on the judging panel”, “I don’t need an advantage” she replied, “I’m a winner from my head to my toes .. tomatoes, get it?”

“I’ve got a problem with my leaks”, said BIll; “you should try wearing incontinence pants!” joked Ted, “don’t laugh, I’m genuinely disappointed  with my crop this year, they are really small, my shallots are not a lot better, my radishes are rubbish, and as for my runners, they’ve bean and gone!”

Christine from the knitting circle is well known for her chrysanthemums, her exhibit at the show is always referred to as ‘Chris and the mums’, her mum’s ‘mums’ were always renowned as were her mum’s mum’s mums before her; fellow knitter Gerry always enters geraniums and Rosey wins prizes for her…..you guessed it… sun flowers!

All that talk about dishes of the day and vegetables had got Colin thinking, so it was only a matter of time before he set off – “what did bacon say to tomato? lettuce get together – what day do eggs hate the most? fry day – I accidentally ate my cat’s food last night, don’t ask me-oww  – I cook spaghetti just to pasta time – how many chefs does it take to make a pie? 3.142 – what cheese is made backwards? edam………”

After the last of the locals had left, Len bolted the door “I think they liked it”, he said to himself as he admired his handiwork; as he wiped the tables and carefully repositioned the beer mats his eye was caught by something written on his new chalkboard panel, ‘Good job Len’, it said, ‘I wonder who wrote that’, he thought as he walked to the window and stared up at the star studded sky..

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hanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Panel.

21 thoughts on “Six semicolons!”

  1. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin Oct 17, 2024 / 15:54

    Wonderful story and enjoyable read and listen Keith. Your reading as always added extra drama and humor to the story. I wonder who wrote the note….hmmm If any of Lens guests knows who wrote it…they are being mum about it.

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Oct 18, 2024 / 17:11

      A sometimes wonder what a world without witty words would be like! Thanks for wonderful comment, Nancy!

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  5. messymimi's meanderings's avatar messymimi's meanderings Oct 18, 2024 / 00:28

    It’s good to see the crew at the Inn again, I really enjoy their sense of humor. Len did a good job and you do a great one.

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  8. Frank Hubeny's avatar Frank Hubeny Oct 19, 2024 / 00:38

    Nice one: “what cheese is made backwards? edam” I had to read it twice to get it, but it was worth it.

    I especially liked the message Len’s wife left him on the chalkboard.

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  9. Liz H-H's avatar Liz H-H Oct 20, 2024 / 00:56

    Always good to get some attaboys! To that end: “Good job, Keith!”

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