.
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Ted wandered into The Baaarmy Inn looking like a total wreck, mud all over his clothes, hair like a frightened scarecrow and his glasses at twenty past ten; “what happened to you?” asked Arthur, “I visited the rec”, he replied, “what, the Titanic?” asked Bill, “no, the recreation ground, my grandson wanted us to kick a ball about, I didn’t expect him to use me for target practice, I got hit on the head, hit in the chest, hit in the you-know-where, tripped up, knocked over, it was more like a wrecking ball than a football, my gawd, he’s lively for a five year old”.
“Someone sang a song about them once, Smiley someone, no, Limey Cyprus I think it was”, said Babs; “Miley Cyrus” shouted Suzie from the next table as she sprang to her feet and started singing, “I came in like a wrecking ball” – which just the excuse the ladies of the knitting circle needed to launch into their anthem, ‘The Ball of Wool’ – “one stitch, two stitches, three stitches, four – five stitches, six stitches, seven stitches, more…”.
When the singing (screeching) came to an end a welcome silence descended upon the room – only to be shattered by Colin who’d been quietly preparing his routine, “when a triangle is wrecked it becomes a rectangle – having a job as a crash dummy wrecked my career – what’s at the bottom of the sea and twitches…a nervous wreck – my wife asked me to get in touch with my feminine side so I wrecked the car – “OY” yelled Landlord Len, “I’ll have no sexist jokes in my pub!”
“I went the opera once, don’t laugh, I did”, said George, “and after the performance I visited the pub next door and to my surprise in walked the star of the show, a Icelandic singer called Vik, well, she drank some wine, placed the empty glass on the table, sang a very high note and the glass shattered!”; “I bet she was from Reykjavik,” said Colin!
“I was talking to the Rector at church the other day”, said Bill, “and he was saying they’ve discovered what’s believed to be the wreck of Noah’s Ark and it’s been put on display; as if the wreck wasn’t wrecked enough, some wretch wrecked the wreck even more than it was wrecked before – he got a six year sentence”.
After everybody left, Len put a CD of his favourite songs in the player and started clearing up the mess left by the locals; he noticed a roll of paper in the neck of a bottle, and on it was an anonymous scribbled message – ‘thanks Len, you’re such a gem, can’t wait to see you again’; he looked up the ceiling and imagined Maggie looking down at him just as ‘We’ll Meet Again’ started to play.
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Thanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Wreck.
Keith's Ramblings 
Great work and writing Keith. I marvel at your reading of the story. How did you manage to say the following so smoothly…”wreck of Noah’s Ark and it’s been put on display; as if the wreck wasn’t wrecked enough, some wretch wrecked the wreck even more than it was wrecked” I would have lost it halfway through speaking…I would have been a wreck!
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I did trip up several times, but made it in the end! Thanks so much, Suzette!
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You are very welcome, Keith!
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Love these Keith
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I’m pleased! Thanks, Di.
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You’re welcome
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Nice one: “when a triangle is wrecked it becomes a rectangle”
And so is this: “my wife asked me to get in touch with my feminine side so I wrecked the car”
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Delighted to have amused you, Frank!
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❤️
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Thanks, Beth.
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It’s always fun to visit with the crew at the Baaamy!
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I like dropping by too!
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Oh, my, so much wreckage wrought. Such a pun place this pub!
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When I first saw the prompt I had no idea what to write. Thank goodness I have that lot to help me every week!
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Loving the punny jokes in this.
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I’m pleased, I enjoy a weekly punfest!
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An excellent use of the word wreck in all its meanings. Loved the sweet ending
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Thanks Sadie, I like to show there’s more to Len than that which the punters see.
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You do it so well.
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That ending caught me by surprise, which is why I particularly love this one.
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Thanks Misky, he’s not the curmudgeon he appears to be!
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Brilliant! You had me in stitches! Oofah …. don’t remind me of stitches!
You are the master and I raise my glass to you. Cheers! 🥂
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I promise never to use the word stit… whoops I almost did! Thank you so much, Nancy, cin cin! 🍾
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So many wrecks… wonderful (or not)😉
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Was trying to decide on my favorite, Keith, got to the end and baam! Out came the “AWW”. Sounds like there’s at least one person doesn’t think he so cranky!
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“His glasses at twenty past ten.” Now that’s something I’ve never read before, and it’s PERFECT! Great description all around!
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