,
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“You’re late Arthur, where you bin?” asked Ted, “well,” said Arthur, “I thought I’d use that new taxi service, Dial-a-Ride, but that was a mistake, the guy hardly knows the area and his satinavy thingamajiggy was no ‘elp, we went down Barn Lane, then to Barry’s Barbers, then past that burger bar; anyway I’ve asked him to pick me up at eleven, I hope he comes at eleven tonight not eleven tomorrow morning!”
“Talking of getting the time wrong”, said Bill, “I came here for a quick tipple in the garden the other day before meeting my darlin’ Delia in town at two-thirty but I’d forgotten my watch, then I remembered Len’s sundial on the lawn, so I looked at it and to my horror it said three o’clock – but just then the church clock rang two and I realised Len must have moved it”; “OY” yelled Landlord Len, “that’s meant to be an ornament, not an accurate timepiece”.
“You know that guy with the long nose”, said Babs, “Pinocchio Pete to his mates, well, his wife was telling me that she can use him as a sundial, he just has to stand facing northwards and his face tells her the time!”
“I decided I needed a new clock,” said Suzie, sitting at the next table, “my present one was driving me cuckoo, so I went to the antique shop to see what he’d got, there were carriage clocks, alarm clocks, grandfather clocks all set to ten-to-two, then I saw it, a little beauty set to six-thirty, that was the winner hands down, but I didn’t throw my old one away, that would have been a waste of time … time … clock … get it?!”
Colin cleared his throat, and everyone turned their eyes upward, “when clocks are hungry they go back four seconds – I’ve run out of clock jokes it’s about time I got some more – telephones used to have dials too, now they have buttons, I dropped mine in the bath and it started syncing – a cell phone went to prison, it was charged with battery – I rang 999 the other day and the operator asked what my emergency was and I said I’d accidentally superglued my finger to the nine button – I asked a German girl for her phone number and she said ‘nein nein nein nein’ …..”
It was almost midnight and The Baaarmy Inn was empty, Len went out back and looked up at the star-studded sky; the glistening moon cast shadows across the grass as he walked over to the sundial; “Maggie loved you, I bet she’s looking down at us now”, he said as he placed his arms around its concrete plinth and shifted it until the time said twelve o’clock.
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*In case my friends across the pond are unaware, our 999 is your 911!
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Thanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Dial.
That was a timely piece!!
Got to hand it to you, that left a smile on my face and I’m nor winding you up!
He he he. You sure didn’t tick me off with this rather counter comment. 🙂
Delightful puns. And Len’s having fun with that sundial — confusing everybody.
That’s Len!
Luckily I had the time to read this , it was well worth a few minutes!
Tick tock!
Thank you Keith! you phone puns left no gap in coverage and well, your clock puns where hands down so fun I went back four seconds to read them again!
I’m not even going to attempt to counter-pun that lot! Cheers, Suzette!
Cheers! Have a good one Keith!
Heeheehee! The sundial was probably right, they’d changed the clocks to summer time. Either way, fun story, especially having him reset it in the middle of the night.
I hadn’t thought of that!
Nice line: “I dropped mine in the bath and it started syncing – a cell phone went to prison, it was charged with battery”
Thanks, Frank!
Bravo!! Hands down … the ‘made you laugh’ post of the night!
A nicer resonse I couldn’t have wished for!
A wonderful story full of puns.
Punkyou Sadje!
Lol 😆
Keith, you’ve made me look forward to Thursdays.
What a lovely thing to say, thank you!
Yes, I agree with Misky as well, although I’m a little late to read and reply about your wonderful puns!
Oh wow, that makes it all worthwhile!
A cascade of wild puns, ending in what feels like a tender moment. Thank you, Keith!
Thank you, Liz, he has a softer side that he keeps to himself!
funny thing…. you’ve gotten to exemplify this very punny writing style to the point that, six words in (“You’re late Arthur, where you bin?”) and the alarms go off (yeah, like clockwork lol)
very cool to have such a strong ‘voice’ in story-writting
That’s so nice of you, I enjoy knocking up a weekly punfest!