‘
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Precise Pete lifts his glass, and looks closely at the pint mark to make sure he’s got the correct amount of beer, low betide the bar tender should it fall below, he has even been known to complain when it’s over-filled, he likes everything just right; this one is perfectly level with the line!
“I was thinking”, said Arthur setting off a customary group sigh, “we should form a cricket team, several other pubs have them, we could take on that pompous lot at The Sticky Wicket”; “but”, said Babs, “they’ve got that bloke Bailey, he plays for the county, it wouldn’t be a level playing field”.
“The other problem would be pub’s back garden” suggested Ted, “it’s certainly not level, it’s like swamp and the grass is at least a foot high”; “OY” yelled Landlord Len, “I’ll have you know I mowed it twice last year”.
Listening into the conversation was John from the US of A, he’s over here visiting Scott and Iris, his parents, “cricket’s not a man’s game, one guy throws a ball at some wooden sticks and another guy tries to bat it away while a load of others stand around doing nothing, sometimes for five days”, he said, “that about sums up the rules”.
“Wrong”, said Bill, “these are the rules – you have two sides in the field, one is in and one is out, each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out, he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out, then when they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those that came in, out, however you get men still out but not out, then after both sides have been out and in, including the not outs, the game is over, see?”.
“Why don’t we choose something more suited to us and The Baaarmy Inn”, said Suzie, like Wellie Wanging”; “brilliant idea”, said Colin, “I agree”, said Arthur, “me too”, said Ted, “what’s wellie wanging?” asked John, if he wasn’t confused enough already!
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Thanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s word is Level.
Keith's Ramblings 
Thank you Keith first of all for introducing to new phrase. I had to goog*e Suzie’s suggestion. A perfect description of cricket and its ins and outs…sometimes for five day…LOL.
P.S. Thanks for using the word “betide” I can’t remember the last time I saw that word in a story. So fun…I like it.
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You should try Wellie Wanging, it’s great fun! The cricket rules are accurate, just laid out awkwardly!
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Lol!!
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Love these
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Thanks so much, Di!
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Bill’s description of cricket sums up my misunderstanding of the game. For Precise Pete his pint being overfilled probably means it is dripping on the table. Nice tales you have written of these characters at the Baamy Inn.
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Bill likes exactly the right amount of frothy head on his pint! Like several of these characters, he’s based on an actual customer of mine back in my pub days!
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Hilarious suggestion
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It’s a great game, especially when it’s muddy!
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Oh that I can imagine
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I’ve not been able to precisely grasp cricket, but I can tell it’s a game which takes much time and skill to practice and learn. A fun installment from your brilliant characters.
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Slow but satisfying! Thanks, Mimi.
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Thanks for clearing that up for
Me)
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Sorted!
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Now, I fully understand cricket 😁
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Honestly? Right, now I’m going to test you…..!
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Testing…testing… 😁
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well, those of us at the Doctrine are awaiting (to be continued)…
damn! our understanding of the game of cricket? don’t know if you description is serious or not! lol
oh yeah, any of them what frequent the Baaamy Inn are ever over here in Oceania ‘cross the pond, they’re more than welcome to stop in at the Six Sentence Café and Bistro!
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The description is correct, just a bit clumsily described!
It’s funny you should mention SSCB, there has been talk of it in the pub of late, its reputation is growing far and wide!
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it (the SSC&B) is definitely a fun construct… if you find yourself in the mood to get Bill and Ted and them into a mood for a roadtrip totally welcome.
(Brief context description: three steps down from the sidewalk, on the first floor of a former textile mill (granite walls, timber joists). An entry vestibule (with cigarette machine, free copies of ‘The Watch Tower’) the interior is a rectangle long edge along the street. The bar runs down the right hand wall (from the entrance) the rest of the cafe is to the left, round tables, small stage)
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Perfect for cricket – well done, Keith🏏
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That’s what Bill thought! Cheers, Chris.
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I’m with Frank. Cricket confuses me and the explanation has sent my head into a spin. I won’t be too demanding if the pint is not precisely at the line…
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That explanation reminds me of the time I visited a huge hospital and was given directions to the X-ray dept. 😉
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Haha, that must have been quite a trek!
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Hurrah for wellie wanging. Did that at Glyndebourne a few years ago, after spreading a picnic on the grass. 🤣
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That’s the last thing I would have imagined at Glyndebourne, I’ve obviously been going on the wrong days!
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Londoners stand around with bubbly beverages waiting for the bell. Locals stand around by the car park eating pork pies and drinking Sussex Ale. 😂
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I knew nothing of cricket beyond that’s there a stick, a ball, and hoops. And now… I still know nothing more than that!
Fantastic story as always, Keith.
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