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What’s the best way of getting there? Is it a boat, is a train, is it a plane? If I was Superman I could just don a red cloak and fly there. I am a man, and I’m super but I’ve not yet managed to combine the two.
It’s very inconvenient having the English Channel between us and our snail-eating, beret-wearing, garlic-smelling neighbours. Mind you, Willie the Conk crossed without difficulty in 1066, and it must be a lot easier now.
Let’s look at the options.
One, the boat. It takes about a hundred minutes to float across. On the plus side, there’s a bar and cafe on board. However, it tends to bob up and down a bit so you need pack a sick bag or two just in case.
Two, the train. Somehow it travels under the water. I used it once, but I was disappointed not to see any fish or mermaids along the way. It’s very quick, but it’s quite pricey.
Three, the plane. I hate airports. All that security malarke. I always set the alarm off when I go through that frame thing. Then I get stroked and felt in the most intimate of places. Ooh, no.
Before you suggest it, I’m not swimming across. I fear stepping in puddles so there’s no way I’m putting on my mankini and jumping in!
You know what? I don’t think I’ll bother. I’ll just buy a baguette, some brie, a bottle of Chateau Plonk and watch La Miserable!
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Thanks to Jenne Gray and C.E.Ayr for hosting The Unicorn Challenge.
Perfect solution
The easy way out!
Now I have an indelible image of you eating brie (my favorite) and sipping a pinot while wearing a beret and a mankini! Ooh la la! 👨🏻🎨
Ooh dear dear! Not a pretty sight!
I love it. I hate the Detroit Windsor tunnel and the bridge is way out of my way. But needs must in order to see family.
…and then you have to do it all over again on your way back home!
Yes, there is that. Thanks for the reminder.
Denise Hammond
Oh Keith, you had me laughing at the airport situation you decribed.
Love your skill at counting .. un der twar…LOL. Great story.
I can count in Italian too – you-know, doo-oh, tree!
LOL…Your imagination is spectacular…Thanks for the laughs Keith.
‘a baguette, some brie, a bottle of Chateau Plonk’. So do they all cost more since Brexit? 😉
They do here, but from where I live it’s easy to do a booze run over to Calais!
Ooh la la, Kees, you are so, ‘ow you say, boring.
Venez en France, ‘ave some fun, maybe some comment va ton père!
And don’t call Rosey La Miserable!
Okay, if you insist, but you won’t get me drinking from a bottle of Rosey, more of a rouge buveur meself!
All the options seem tedious. Staying at home and celebrating sounds better.
I’m pleased you agree, Sadje!
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Oh to have foreign countries and adventures so close that it becomes a ho hum experience. Your world-weary narrator is a lucky man. Fun story but it made me wish I could just jump on a train and be in Europe. 😕
Living on the UK’s south coast means I can pop across to France for lunch, do a bit of food and drink shopping and nip back again in the evening!
Oh, envy, envy. 😢
Oh my gosh, you’ve done it again–I can hardly breathe for laughing so hard!! You’re really too much–and that’s a very good thing! (I may have to bookmark this one for days of drear) Vee, the sometimes Superwoman (but no cute costume)
Vee, thanks for your lovely comment, I’m looking forward to watching you fly past, you don’t need a cute costume!
Even your comments crack me up! I doubt I could manage a serious conversation with you, if we ever met…you’d have to offer me a glass of water, thinking I might be choking to death. And I can’t visualize myself flying by…too much weight would likely result in a free-fall.
Hi Keith – stop dreaming perhaps … but yes – easier to stay put – glad we had the opportunity to pop backwards and forwards at whim. Cheers Hilary
We are fortunate, and I’m not really a stay-puter, I’ve got the itchiest feet imaginable!
Your story made me laugh, Keith your descriptions…
That perfect carmudgeon – I want to give him a good talking to! 😉
Fortunately all your travel photos suggest that will never be you!
Good story though.
He certainly is! I love boats, trains and planes as you’ve clearly noticed, and so should he! Thanks so much, Jenne.
We took the ferry and when the fire alarm went off (fire in the kitchen), well, talk about excitement!
Oh no!