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Len, landlord of The Baaamy Inn decided it was time to take things a little easier by employing someone to help behind the bar, and so it was he created a poster which he proudly displayed in the pub window – Wanted , bar tender, snack vendor, any gender, a hand to lend-a, apply within; “Len’s no poet, and he don’t know it” joked Jock, however it seemed to have the desired effect as minutes later in walked a really dapper chappie!
“Maximilian’s my name, garçon and mixologist extraordinaire” he blabbered as he snatched a piece of paper from within his pocket, “my CV” he said; “ah, your corricumyvitality thingy spluttered Len, “nay sir, my list of Cocktail Varieties” he said.
Len decided to try him out, and after a few short measures, wrong drinks and battles with the till he was beginning to get the hang of it, not just wth serving, but entertaining the customers in his own unique way, like spinning glasses with his fingers, pouring two drinks at once; he even attempted his favourite way of delivering a drink where he’d slide the glass along the bar; unfortunately that didn’t go to well thanks to the somewhat worse-for-wear surface and it stopped before Bill on its side and empty, rather than upright and full!
Len thought he’d sample a cocktail and chose number four on the CV; into the shaker went some of that, a little of this and splash of the other then Maximilion held it a loft and dramatically shook it whilst hopping from foot to foot, however he’d forgotten to attach the lid securely thereby showering several poor souls in Singapore Sling; “thanks a million, Max” huffed Harold!
It was time for his next demonstration and he proceeded to create a tower of champagne glasses, he’d pour bubbly stuff into the top one and let it overflow therefore filling the ones below, but as Len was not keen on wasting a bottle of his precious ‘champoo’ he popped outside and collected a rusty old watering can from which Max poured a stream of muddy water complete with several dead spiders and leaves; sadly the tower collapsed, but fortunately only one of the glasses was damaged!
It was fast becoming clear that Maximilian and The Baaarmy Inn were not suited to one another and so it was he said farewell to Len and the locals leaving them to ponder on what they’d experienced; “no champagne, no gain”, said, Arthur, – “ he cracked me up” said Fred as he picked a glass from the floor, – “why is sand wet? asked Harold as he felt his cocktail soaked shirt, “because the sea weed”, – “why did the chicken cross the playground?” asked Jack, “to get to the other slide!”
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Thanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Slide.
You cheat like the very Devil when you write these, Keith… and I love it!
We all need a little help now and then! Cheers, Dale!
That we do 😉
Chuckle chuckle…moan…chuckle chuckle. You have a way with words for sure. 🙂
Just the reaction I was hoing for, thanks, Christine!
LOL…corricumyvitality ahahaha! Too funny Keith. Maximilan definitely was unsual bar none…but perhaps he deserves another shot eh!
I wouldn’t let him anywhere near the shot glasses!
LOL! Very wish Keith!
The Baaamy Inn sounds like my kind of place. Quite an enjoyable read.
A shame you’re not closer, Lisa, you’d love it!
Maybe one day…
Oh gosh, Keith, this is Too GOOD! I’m snorting with laughter…how “unladylike”! But you’re too FUN–like a mini-vaca in the middle of the day! Blessings to you!!
Nothing wrong with a snort now and again! You really are so kind, thankee very muchlee!
As I tell everyone–I’m 100% sincere in my comments. I don’t know what “kind” means, but I can’t waste time with flattery. Have a blessed weekend, see you next week!
You are a riot! And I mean that in a good way
Phew, that’s alright then! Cheers, Beth.
Nice phrase: “no champagne, no gain” I was hoping Maximillian would be a keeper, but there are others just as interesting who will want the job.
At least he tried! I came across one or two not unlike him when I was in the pub game!
I loved this! I could picture the scene and holding my breath as the champoo glasses filled. Nicely done!
I’m pleased, thank you so much!
You’re welcome 😊
Heeheehee! Yep, Len needs to keep advertising, but at least they have something fun to talk about.
They’re never short of something to laugh about there!
Very cleverly worded Keith. Entertaining and so much fun.
That’s really nice of you, Sadje.
It’s my pleasure, always
I can hardly read through my tears of laughter. I even read it to my husband, who claims to never understand the punchlines in a joke (claims it’s because he’s a Dane, and only Danish jokes are funny …. he’s such a funny guy) … and even the Dane laughed. I mean who can stay poker-faced with a stream of muddy water complete with several dead spiders and leaves … eh?
I can’t thank you enough for your delightful comment, Misky.
Tee-hee🤣
Thankee!
I’m with Frank, hoping that Max would pull a rarebit out of his hat or something…
“why did the chicken cross the playground?” asked Jack, “to get to the other slide!” how did I get this far without having heard that one?!?
Fun Six as always!
Perhaps he should head for a cafe in Wales, he may have more success making rarebit there!
” “Thanks a million, Max,” huffed Harold ” – I love all the wordplay in this write, Keith, just hilarious! 😂
Many moons ago, I once worked as a “mixologist” and it is a nightmare when you haven’t secured the lid properly!!
Max is meant for something else, I think. Another great time at the Baaamy Inn!