249 words

for the Unicorn Challenge which is hosted by Jenne Gray and C.E.Ayr.



I have a habit of misreading things like the time I saw a poster for a salsa class and thought I’d give it a go. I took along took a bag of tortilla chips and ended up dancing!

I once made a major blunder when booking what I thought to be a cruise on a luxury yacht.  The advert offered a sailing trip like no other. They got that right! The ship had sails, but not exactly like the ones I was expecting!

Instead of fine dining, fine wines and fine entertainment we took turns cooking, drank tepid tea and played cards. As for scrubbing the decks and climbing up to the crow’s nest, it was more like punishment than pleasure.

Those of you that have read my tales over the years will be well aware of my friend Rosey’s numerous misunderstandings. Like when she thought she had a date with a barrister only to discover he was actually a barista at Starbucks! Well, recently Rosey and I were invited to the marina for a soiree aboard Posh Parvinder’s ‘Gin Palace’. We were instructed to wear something fancy, but both got the wrong message and assumed it meant fancy dress! How stupid we felt standing there amid the suited and booted guests, dressed as pirates!

You won’t believe this! I attended a football match at my lad’s school yesterday, and a teacher asked if I was the father of one of her children! I didn’t know what to say!

© Ayr/Gray


A few stories about my friend Rosey can be found by clicking below!


23 thoughts on “249 words

  1. ladysighs Apr 28, 2023 / 17:25

    You did as least one thing right. Whenever I have an afternoon card party, four or five tables of bridge, I serve salted peanuts, chocolate M&Ms, licorice pieces etc. The girls won’t come if I put out cheap gumdrops. The cards become so dirty and sticky that I have to scrub every deck twice so they will be ready for my husband’s evening poker game. As if his grubby, grimy little gang of gamblers would notice the difference.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Suzette Benjamin Apr 28, 2023 / 18:08

    LOL…”a barista!” Rosey and her interpretations are hilarious fun. Always fun to read your stories, Keith.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ceayr Apr 28, 2023 / 18:55

    Well, Keith, I really don’t know what to say.
    But I did chortle, old chum!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings Apr 30, 2023 / 18:07

      It’s not often I render you speechless! In that case, mission accomplished!


  4. Doug Jacquier Apr 28, 2023 / 20:47

    The only polite response to the teacher would have been ‘I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure.’ 😉 Fun ramble as always, Keith.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The Sicilian Storyteller Apr 28, 2023 / 20:58

    Sometimes you make me groan and other times I chuckle and still there are the times I LOL. Whatever the outcome, I always enjoy your posts and puns!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings May 1, 2023 / 10:42

      Whatever your reaction it’s muchly appreciated! Thanks once again, Nancy.


  6. clark Apr 29, 2023 / 17:45

    Allow me to add to the ‘ols that follow this story.

    How more productive (albeit difficult) is it to find the humor in situations that might otherwise cause embarrassment.
    (Really like this Rosey person.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Keith's Ramblings May 1, 2023 / 10:49

      Absolutely so although the teacher is still unsure if he’s the parent of one of her students, and wondering why you lot are laughing!


  7. jenne49 Apr 29, 2023 / 21:12

    Still laughing, Keith. I enjoyed your ramblings. You and that Rosey are quite a pair.
    I’d have written a story too, had I not been helping me auld mucker get his book ready for publication on amazon. Tomorrow, I hope. A story, not the book, but that’ll be soon…


    • Keith's Ramblings May 1, 2023 / 10:54

      Having written around 120 stories about her, Rosey has come in very useful over the past 16 years!

      Between your comment and my reply, your story appeared and what a great one it is.


  8. Liz H May 2, 2023 / 18:28

    When misunderstandings…er MISINTERPRETATIONS…come so easily, it makes the most sense to just roll with the surprises and have a good time. Another fine, funny flash, Keith!


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