It’s a sixer!

Keith's Ramblings

for Six Sentence Stories where the given word is Lounge

The following is an edited version of a tale I wrote six years ago.

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“Make sure you behave yourself,” said mum as she handed Tommy over to grandpa for a couple of hours. 

He left him alone for a few moments to take a telephone call in the hall but cut his conversation short when he heard something fall to the floor in the lounge. 

A look of dismay came over his face when he saw Tommy sitting beside his precious vase,  but he said nothing, just knelt down next to him.

“Why are you crying”’ asked Tommy, “it’s not broken”.

Grandpa traced the shape of a heart in the scattered ashes on the carpet.

“Kids will be kids my darling” he whispered.

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30 thoughts on “It’s a sixer!”

  2. hilarymb's avatar hilarymb Mar 9, 2023 / 12:39

    Sad, but as Beth says … so sweet … and so kind of Grandpa … well done Keith = cheers Hilary

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  5. clark's avatar clark Mar 9, 2023 / 22:03

    Nice.
    Simple. engaging with an emotional left-hook for an ending.
    (An example of what, I would hazard, we all strive for in writing these little stories.)

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  6. Nicole Horlings's avatar Nicole Horlings Mar 9, 2023 / 22:16

    Excellently told, Keith. Like the kid, my first concern was whether it had broken, and I hadn’t considered that there might be important contents that could spill out. Yet, with every line, you added new details that deepened my understanding of the scene.

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  9. marja's avatar marja Mar 10, 2023 / 07:01

    A sweet and poignant story

    Like

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  10. ladysighs's avatar ladysighs Mar 10, 2023 / 10:02

    I won’t deny what the others said …. a sweet story and warm thoughts.
    But I just wanted to get the vacuum out.

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  14. Liz H-H's avatar Liz H Mar 10, 2023 / 15:30

    Oh…that was a gut-punch. And how do you even begin to explain to the little one? Maybe the heart image and gentle demeanor says it best.

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