A short story…

Sep 12, 2022Keith's Ramblings

…for Sadje’s What Do You See? picture prompt.

‘

I rang the doorbell. Nothing. I rang it again. Still nothing.

How strange. Jenny was always in on Monday evenings, and she’d invited me round for coffee.

I walked to the glass door at the back. It was eerily dark inside, just a glimmer of light coming from the stairwell.

Her cat jumped from a chair and strolled in my direction. He stopped, tilted his head to one side and let out a sombre meow.

Something wasn’t right.

I heard something rustling a shrub to my side. My blood ran cold. But it was just a curious fox. It stared at me, motionless. one paw raised.

I tried calling her phone. It went to voicemail.

I suddenly felt something prodding my back. “Don’t move”, said a menacing voice, “I’m armed”. I was terrified, but I had to do something, so I spun around and grabbed the gun….well, actually it was a finger, Jenny’s middle finger! She started roaring with laughter.

“That wasn’t funny,” I said, “you could have given me a heart attack. Where were you anyway?”

“Just popped out for a pint of milk,” she said. “Coffee?”

Image credit: Digital Solacism @Unsplash

Sadje Sep 12, 2022 / 14:13

This is marvelous Keith. You’ve built the suspense so well. Thanks for joining in

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- Keith's Ramblings Sep 13, 2022 / 16:42
  
  Thanks so much for providing such an inspiring photo Sadje.
  
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  - Sadje Sep 13, 2022 / 16:44
    
    My pleasure 😇
    
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Suzette Benjamin Sep 12, 2022 / 14:52

Excellent, you had me going til the very end. Great storytelling Keith! You’re a rock star!!

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- Keith's Ramblings Sep 13, 2022 / 16:43
  
  thanks for your delightful comment, Suzette!
  
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  - Suzette Benjamin Sep 13, 2022 / 17:50
    
    Always a pleasure. I enjoy your storytelling 😊
    
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Patricia Sep 12, 2022 / 16:36

A good story with a surprise ending.

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- Keith's Ramblings Sep 13, 2022 / 16:52
  
  Thanks so much, Patricia.
  
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Christine Goodnough Sep 12, 2022 / 16:52

Well done. Quite the thriller until the last line. But I like happy endings. 🙂

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- Keith's Ramblings Sep 13, 2022 / 16:55
  
  Me too, Christine! Thanks so much.
  
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~just a thought Sep 12, 2022 / 18:00

Right up MY alley (I love a good mystery, and have even read some of those cat mysteries….I believe they’re called cozies).
Nice work!

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- Keith's Ramblings Sep 13, 2022 / 17:15
  
  That’s something I’ve learned today! Thanks so much for dropping by.
  
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  - ~just a thought Sep 13, 2022 / 22:36
    
    Of course! I’m happy to have added a little extra.
    
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beth Sep 13, 2022 / 00:39

yikes! I have startle response so this could have been loud! great ending

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- Keith's Ramblings Sep 13, 2022 / 17:16
  
  Haha, be as loud as you like Beth!
  
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judeitakali Sep 17, 2022 / 05:14

Great tension

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