My half dozen

for Six Sentence Stories where the given word is Control.

sectar

I have a love-hate relationship with my television’s remote control, I’m convinced it has a mind of its own.

I press this and it does that, I press that and it does this, and too often something unexpected pops up on the screen or the telly switches off. 

Admittedly I do have sausage-like fingers which means I often stab two or more buttons at once, they really should make them larger to suit everybody not just people with skinny digits.

It’s got voice control, but I prefer using the buttons, it goes without saying!

Talking of buttons, there are so many of them, and I don’t know what half of them are supposed to do; PVR, EPG, Event list, Soundbase … what?   

I’m told that when the inventor of the remote control passed away they found his body between the cushions on his sofa – the old jokes are the best!

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting.

51 thoughts on “My half dozen

  1. Matt D's avatar Matt D May 4, 2022 / 23:25

    Pesky remote control. I’m always losing mine.

  2. Denise's avatar Denise May 4, 2022 / 23:27

    When my grandson Charlie was about four, he got hold of the remote and somehow managed to get into the settings and switch to Spanish language and subtitles. I was totally flummoxed and had to call tech help to reset it. Then again, maybe gremlins in the remote did it.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings May 5, 2022 / 12:32

      Haha, that’s so funny! It could just have been playing games with Charlie!

  3. Frank Hubeny's avatar Frank Hubeny May 4, 2022 / 23:30

    That sounds like the problem I have with my phone. Talking to machines can even be more confusing that looking for the right buttons.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings May 5, 2022 / 12:33

      …especially when it misunderstands you! Cheers, Frank.

  4. Susan St.Pierre's avatar Susan St.Pierre May 4, 2022 / 23:42

    Ha Ha ! Did you know he invented it because he was childless? 😉

  5. beth's avatar beth May 4, 2022 / 23:51

    love the joke!

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings May 5, 2022 / 12:50

      Thanks, Beth. I popped a pun in the middle, but I think it’s gone unnoticed!

  6. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin May 5, 2022 / 01:24

    Hilarious…And they are making smaller buttons on the remotes these days to add more features…

  7. Doug Jacquier's avatar Doug Jacquier May 5, 2022 / 01:30

    Only one thing for it. Keep a child in a cage in the corner for emergency use. 😉

    • ceayr's avatar ceayr May 5, 2022 / 11:51

      No need for an unsightly cage, Doug, just nail one of their feet to the floor.

      • Doug Jacquier's avatar Doug Jacquier May 5, 2022 / 19:10

        Circular argument really. 😉

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings May 5, 2022 / 13:01

      Excellent ideas, they come in useful for all things technological!

  8. Sadje's avatar Sadje May 5, 2022 / 01:59

    Haha!

  9. GirlieOnTheEdge's avatar GirlieOnTheEdge May 5, 2022 / 02:13

    Such fun today at Storyteller Keith’s!
    The frustrations generated by what should be a simple electronic device! Aagh!
    Love the wrap up 🤣

  10. clark's avatar clark May 5, 2022 / 03:06

    Ba Rum Bump! (the cushions joke)

    I too refuse to drink the Kool Aid of talking to my remote…
    The button I wear out first, not surprisingly is the Mute button… and, for unknown reasons, I play with the volume control way more than I should

    “I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that”

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings May 5, 2022 / 13:19

      Living the single life, I do sometimes have a chat with my remote. I too use the mute and volume buttons constantly!

  11. ceayr's avatar ceayr May 5, 2022 / 11:53

    Buttons bad, voice worse.
    I’m reminded of the YouTube video of two Scots guys in voice-operated elevator.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings May 5, 2022 / 13:27

      I went to YouTube and found it straight away. ‘Eleven’, brilliant!

  12. Chris Hall's avatar Chris Hall May 5, 2022 / 17:00

    You people have voice operated remotes??? 😲

      • Chris Hall's avatar Chris Hall May 7, 2022 / 13:20

        What will they think of next…?🤔

  13. emkingston's avatar emkingston May 5, 2022 / 19:59

    I love voice-activated remotes most of the time. My fingers are a bit on the sausage side too 😀

  14. Pingback: Keith’s Remote
    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings May 6, 2022 / 11:21

      I don’t need to forgive you, I need to thank you! You continued my tale perfectly.

      • Gypsie-Ami Offenbacher-Ferris's avatar Gypsie-Ami Offenbacher-Ferris May 7, 2022 / 11:11

        Thank you Keith! I made an audio file to go with it but can’t seem to upload it here. Advice? 😊

  15. Liz H's avatar Liz H May 6, 2022 / 01:45

    I’m gonna guess the inventor found from snacks between those couch cushions to keep him going until someone dug him out.
    Very funny Six…I truly did laugh out loud!

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings May 6, 2022 / 11:23

      It’s amazing how much food ends up between cushions! Really pleased you liked it Liz, thank you.

  16. TheHiddenEdge's avatar TheHiddenEdge May 6, 2022 / 21:43

    “It’s got voice control, but I prefer using the buttons, it goes without saying!” Cleverly funny! 😉

  17. jenne49's avatar jenne49 May 7, 2022 / 11:07

    Ah, the universal story of the remote control. You made me laugh.

    ‘It’s got voice control, but I prefer using the buttons, it goes without saying!’ Nice one!

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings May 8, 2022 / 14:56

      One of life’s love/hate relationships – especially when it ignores what I say!

  18. Tom's avatar Tom May 7, 2022 / 15:21

    They do seem to be possessed at times, Keith.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings May 8, 2022 / 14:58

      Mine actually had the nerve to ask for new batteries last night, the greedy little devil!

      • Tom's avatar Tom May 12, 2022 / 18:49

        Shocking! 🙂

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