‘
‘Thank you’ I said as I unwrapped my birthday pressie. ’It’s just what I’ve always wanted!’
I hadn’t a clue what it was. It looked a bit like a recorder, those tooty-toot things you played at school.
‘Go on, give us a tune!’ said Garry.
I gingerly placed it between my lips and began to…
‘Stop!’ he laughed. ‘You don’t put it in your mouth idiot, you stick it up your doo-dah!’
I repositioned it.
‘NO, not there you plonker, poke it up your nose!’
(Incase you are wondering, I’d tried pushing into my ear)
I glanced at the calendar. April Fool’s Day was the day I started the A-Z Challenge, not today. Was this a joke?
Right, nose flute up one…’
‘Woah there buddy’ I interupted. ‘Nose flute? Are you being serious?’
‘Yes, now do as I say. Flute up one nose-hole and use your finger to block the other one’.
I decided to humour him and did as he said.
‘Close your mouth tight and … ready, steady, BLOW!’
Well, if I’d known what was going to happen I’d have blown my nose into a tissue first. It wasn’t a pleasant sight, I can tell you!
I sorted things out and had another shot.
‘AaaaaCHOO’!
.
Believe it or not, I eventually got the hang of it. In fact, I quite like it now.
Next week I’m due to perform the second movement of Mozart’s Nose-flute Concerto No. 2 in D Major at the Pig and Whistle pub’s open-mike night!
You’re more than welcome to come along!
.
In case you are wondering, the nose flute really does exist! According to Wiky, the nose flute is a popular musical instrument played in Polynesia and the Pacific Rim countries. Other versions are found in Africa.
Previous posts
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Years past
2020 – Stories featuring obsolete words – N
2019 – Stories for children – N
2018 – My friend Rosey – N
2017 – The village of Amble Bay –N
Click on the letter of the day to revisit.
My my! Seriously is there such an instrument? Amazing
There certainly is Sadie!
I never knew!
Not for me! Although i will be glad to watch you perform.
That won’t be happening any time soon!
Oh dear what will they think of next!
My “M” Jethro Tull song is here:
http://tao-talk.com/2021/04/15/a2z-2021-jethro-tull-songs-day-13-mother-goose-from-aqualung-1971/
Goodness only knows! Thanks, Lisa.
You’re very welcome. I’ve been enjoying your A2Z series.
That’s so kind of you.
Makes me think of another n word: nope. Nope, I am not doing that! And don’t think I didn’t see what you did there wondering what other orifices things might go in. Fun story. And I don’t care if that instrument does exist in the ‘real world.” In my universe, nope!! There is never a good reason to … no. Just, no.
Thanks for your really funny comment, I’m with you all the way!
Well, my allergies are going full-steam this morning, so I do not need the flute to make noise. And how did you ever find this instrument???
Sorry to hear that Denise! As usual, when seeking out the impossible, I turned to Google!
I was certainly left wondering at that point. Phew!
You dove deep for this A to Z Keith. Very impressed:)
I didn’t have much choice, there wasn’t much to choose from! Thanks, Arti.
A very special talent indeed. I wonder how Mozart on the nose whistle will go down at the Pig and Whistle open mike night. I’ve heard they’re not the most open-minded of crowds…
https://iainkellywriting.com/2021/04/16/the-state-trilogy-a-z-guide-n/
I can’t imagine Iain! I won’t be joining them.
Nobody knows the wonders of a nose like a nose flute player. Fun tale. You sent me looking for examples of the music and I found someone playing Greensleeves and it was quite wonderful. No snorting here.
Now you’ve sparked my curiosity! Greensleevres? My turn to go looking.
“Blow that!” Bwhahaha.
A nose flute, hahaha. Love it!
Here is my A to Z: https://writingiscommunication.wordpress.com/2021/04/16/n-narrator/#comment-4858
I’m really pleased, cheers!
I needed a kleenex myself after reading this one, Keith. Definitely my laugh for the day. Thanks.
How funny! You’ve made my day Gail!
Oh yes I agree, this is a real instrument, and Polynesian actually play it. And beautifully!
My comment is not appearing?
Test #3
Yeah, it’s working! I mean comments, as I had trouble with WP blogs today.
I agree with this instrument, polynesians still play it, and beautifully!
Now that was fun! Made me snort! The mental picture I have is quite disturbing! i apologise to all nose whistle players for my lack of sensitivity to their art but – NO! Just NO! 😉
Don’t apologise. I’m with you!
Oups, sorry about the multiple comments 🙁
Looks like it’s working well now 😉
No problem, thanks for keeping trying!