100 words

Keith's Ramblings

for Friday Fictioneers

 

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We can just make him out. A vague figure looming in the gloom of the disused cotton mill. We knew he’d be here. 

We’d threaded together strands of information, tip-offs and hunches; clues, no matter how nebulous. Months of painstaking work by our dedicated officers has brought us here, the place where he controls his evil operation. We have a job to do. An arrest to make. Victims of his sordid contemptible business to rescue.

Soon you’ll be free. Soon. I promise.

My head’s reeling with nervous excitement. ‘Five’ I whisper, ‘four, three, two, one…’

‘GO GO GO’ I yell.

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Word count 100

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56 thoughts on “100 words”

  1. rochellewisoff's avatar rochellewisoff March 27, 2019 / 12:00

    Dear Keith,

    You have me wondering what the operation entails. Well woven piece.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Reply
  2. larry trasciatti's avatar larry trasciatti March 27, 2019 / 12:10

    Be careful. Those kinds of things are always so dangerous~

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings March 27, 2019 / 13:36

      I’m sure those cops are well prepared. At least, I hope so! Cheers Larry

      Reply
  4. pennygadd51's avatar pennygadd51 March 27, 2019 / 15:33

    I admire the way you use the prompt both physically and metaphorically. And you’ve constructed a strong story with a good build of tension. Nice one!

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings March 28, 2019 / 10:21

      I’m delighted it had the desired effect. Thanks Penny

      Reply
  5. granonine's avatar granonine March 27, 2019 / 15:39

    Very exciting, Keith. Sounds like a script for an episode of SVU 🙂

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings March 28, 2019 / 10:20

      That’s exactly what I based mystery on. Can’t wait for new episodes so I wrote my own!

      Reply
  6. hilarymb's avatar hilarymb March 27, 2019 / 15:43

    Hi Keith – a distant shadow taking with him his gore and world of hate – fun read – presume he’s caught or sent off into the universe … cheers Hilary

    Reply
  7. Reena Saxena's avatar Reena Saxena March 27, 2019 / 16:07

    The anticipation builds up to a sense of relief, despite the tension.

    Reply
  9. plaridel's avatar plaridel March 27, 2019 / 20:03

    i hope it ends well just like in the movies. 🙂

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings March 28, 2019 / 10:16

      Oh, it will! I had my fave TV programme in mind when I wrote this – Law and Order SVU!

      Reply
  10. ceayr's avatar ceayr March 27, 2019 / 22:47

    Well that all got a bit frantic, didn’t it!
    Nicely built, Keith

    Reply
  11. Dale's avatar Dale March 27, 2019 / 22:47

    I really enjoyed this, Keith. You built the tension without giving us details.

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings March 28, 2019 / 10:12

      Even with a bucket load of words I think I’d still have left to the reader’s imagination!

      Reply
      • Dale's avatar Dale March 29, 2019 / 01:33

        And that’s great!!

  13. Tannille's avatar Tannille March 28, 2019 / 06:43

    So much going on here Keith. Most intriguing!

    Reply
  14. draliman's avatar draliman March 28, 2019 / 08:10

    Bullets will soon be flying, methinks. Very tense!

    Reply
  15. Sandra's avatar Sandra March 28, 2019 / 08:50

    You really ramped up the anticipation there. Good one.

    Reply
  16. Abhijit Ray's avatar Abhijit Ray March 28, 2019 / 10:11

    Well done. You have caught the criminal at last. Nice job.

    Reply
  17. Na'ama Yehuda's avatar Na'ama Yehuda March 28, 2019 / 14:11

    Well done, Keith! If that man is the man from my piece, I hope they find him and … um … ensure he won’t harm anyone again …
    You built the tension and the scene and the state of mind of the narrator very well!
    Na’ama

    Reply
  18. Rachel Bjerke's avatar Rachel Bjerke March 28, 2019 / 14:57

    The calm before the storm! What fantastic tension you built up.

    Great read!

    -Rachel

    Reply
  19. Woman walking Max's avatar Woman walking Max March 29, 2019 / 10:42

    An intriguing thriller which leaves us wondering. Nicely done.

    Reply
  21. 4963andypop's avatar 4963andypop March 30, 2019 / 12:01

    As said above, tension and anticipation, coiled like a spring. Could be a mob raid, or maybe a human trafficking ( for the purposes of garment work) case, who knows. You plop us in, at the height of tension, leaving us thirsting for details. Good work!

    Reply
    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings March 30, 2019 / 13:27

      I’m so pleased it had the desired effect! I wrote it as a police operation hence the mention of officers and an impending arrest. Thanks so much for your kind words.

      Reply
  22. Laurie Bell's avatar Laurie Bell April 1, 2019 / 02:58

    Fabulous. And clever idea based off the prompt. All the loose threads of a case pulled together

    Reply
  23. Alice Audrey's avatar Alice Audrey April 1, 2019 / 04:17

    Ah, the tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive are so easily cut through by the authorities.

    Reply
  25. Margaret's avatar Margaret April 2, 2019 / 05:35

    Exciting story. Great build-up and the scene setting. Yay for the good guys!

    Reply
  26. gahlearner's avatar gahlearner April 2, 2019 / 13:53

    I love this, great tension and very exciting. The personal touch of wanting to free someone close to them gives it an extra punch.

    Reply

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