Another short story…

Keith's Ramblings

for Friday Fictioneers

5 (1)

 

I’ve taken the liberty of moving the location to the South Bank of the River Thames and the London Eye on which many a marriage takes place.

 

 

whitetd

The winding queue moves aside as the beaming groom and bride-to-be head for the ribbon-strewn pod.

Today they’ll wed, high in the sky above London-town.

Alone, I watch the world walk by. People of every creed, colour. Laughter sounds the same whatever the language.

By now they’ll have said ‘I do’.

Tour-boats float by, tinny voices saying look right, left, look right again. Bored students follow their guides’ limp flag. A dog cocks its leg.

Now they’ll be sipping champagne.

Joggers trot past. A busker wails, a juggler drops a ball.

The joyful couple leaves the pod to loud applause.

A bouquet lands at my feet.

 

 

dales-ferris-wheel

Friday Fictioneers is hosted by Rochelle. The picture is by Dale Rogerson.

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62 thoughts on “Another short story…”

  4. granonine's avatar granonine Mar 20, 2019 / 15:06

    Why, Keith! Who knew you were such a romantic 🙂 Lovely story, I enjoyed it very much.

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  5. GHLearner's avatar gahlearner Mar 20, 2019 / 15:13

    You were creating great tension with all the details and the weddin in-between, I expected something bad to happen and then… such a beatiful ending. I hope the lonely watcher gets his or her happy ending, too.

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  6. Anita's avatar Anita Mar 20, 2019 / 15:49

    What a venue to get married!
    Great details, Keith! Obviously onlookers can’t see what’s going on at that height. They can only guess about the wedding’s progress!
    Happy ending 🙂
    Wheel Of Time – Anita

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Mar 21, 2019 / 09:49

      It is, and you are absolutely right. It is a very popular venue. Thanks Anita.

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  7. pennygadd51's avatar pennygadd51 Mar 20, 2019 / 16:37

    You’ve written that really well, Keith. The detail is appealing and draws us in. The count-down announcements of the wedding’s progress build a surprising amount of tension. I, for one, wondered what disaster was about to strike. Instead, you give us a bouquet, whose conventional meaning is that the recipient will be the next to be married. Lovely!

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Mar 21, 2019 / 09:47

      I decided not to make him catch the bouquet in order to leave it open. Thanks so much for your kind words Penny.

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  8. draliman's avatar draliman Mar 20, 2019 / 17:12

    I think you’re supposed to catch it…
    I get the feeling that he feels he should be the one up there getting married.

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  10. Christine Goodnough's avatar Christine Goodnough Mar 20, 2019 / 17:35

    So much not said! Your character gets my sympathy. Don’t know if I should say “Congrats” or shed a tear when the bouquet lands at Narrator’s feet.

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  12. Stu's avatar StuHN Mar 20, 2019 / 19:54

    You surprised me: I thought there was going to be a bit of manslaughter when the doors opened. Well, not for them. The bouquet, though…that could be a ticking bomb.

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  13. ceayr's avatar ceayr Mar 20, 2019 / 21:23

    Run, Forrest, run!
    And you, Keith, get out of there fast!

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  15. plaridel's avatar plaridel Mar 20, 2019 / 22:20

    one of the best stories this week. the sight of a ferris wheel could be that awe-inspiring.

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  16. michael1148humphris's avatar michael1148humphris Mar 21, 2019 / 00:48

    Get married on a Ferris wheel, not likely. But fascinating story writing, Keith

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Mar 21, 2019 / 09:31

      The pods are huge, very smart and move at a snail’s pace! If you look for ‘London Eye Weddings’ in Google Images you’ll see what I mean!

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  18. Dale's avatar Dale Mar 21, 2019 / 02:02

    Wonderfully written. We don’t know whether we should feel sad for him or if he is simply observing his surroundings or even upset that he is not the groomsman…

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  19. subroto's avatar subroto Mar 21, 2019 / 05:23

    Very descriptive. Looks like he or she wanted to get married instead of the one getting married now.

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Mar 21, 2019 / 09:25

      I think there was a tinge of envy which is why I emphasised the word ‘alone’. Thanks Subroto

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  20. Abhijit Ray's avatar Abhijit Ray Mar 21, 2019 / 09:18

    They got married nicely. What do you do with the bouquet?

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Mar 22, 2019 / 11:48

      Maybe, but as he didn’t catch it maybe not! I haven’t got a clue! Thanks Rachel

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  22. Sandra's avatar Sandra Mar 21, 2019 / 14:09

    A mixture of sadness and celebration – you did this very well, Keith.

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  27. Margaret's avatar Margaret Mar 24, 2019 / 11:23

    I detected a wistful tone in the descriptions of all the things going on. I hope he’s up at the top of the wheel himself soon. A lovely story.

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  30. Thomas Charles Henry's avatar Thom Carswell Mar 26, 2019 / 21:44

    “Laughter sounds the same whatever the language.”

    Lovely line and so true! Nice story, Keith.

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