for Wordless Wednesday and bloghops various!

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Last week we went around the world. Today I’m sticking to my home turf and I’ve picked a few pictures I’ve taken in and around England!

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We’ll start a few miles down the road at Pevensey Castle which was build by the Romans about 2000 years ago. It’s also the spot that William the Conqueror came ashore in 1066.

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Still close to home, these are the Seven Sisters cliffs

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This is Batemans, home of Rudyard Kipling

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Now to the Chinese Garden in the grounds of Biddolph Grange in Staffordshire

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This is Bodiam Castle in my home county of East Sussex

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Here we are in Yorkshire at the stone bridge upon which the Brontë sisters loved to sit!

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I took this is the garden of Chartwell House, Winston Churchill’s home.

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This is part of the Cheddar Gorge in Somerset

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Now we are in Holmfirth, West Yorkshire  where the world’s longest-running sitcom, Last of The Summer Wine was filmed. Actor Bill Owen who played Compo, famed for his ‘wellie boots’,  wished to be buried here.

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This is Corfe Castle in Dorset which dates back to the 12th century.

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Now to the beach at Dungeness in Kent

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Meanwhile back in West Yorkshire, here’s East Riddlesdeon Hall

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I spotted these guys at Hinton Ampner, Hampshire.

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This is Kingston Lacey in Dorset…

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…and this is Kedleston Hall in Derby.

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I took this at Nostell Priory somewhere up north…

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…and this one at Nymans, back here in Sussex.

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Also in Sussex were these little fellas at Pashley Manor

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Sussex again, this time Petworth House. 

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This is the magnificent cathedral at Salisbury in Wiltshire…

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….and here’s Jane Austin’s grave in Winchester Cathedral

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Now for Scotney Castle – Sussex again!

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Here’s somewhere you may have heard of, Stonehenge!

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Even more clouds here – this was Rye Harbour Nature Reserve.

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An  Autumnal scene not far from me at Sheffield Park

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This is Stourhead in Wiltshire

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Another cathedral, this time in Wells, Somerset, England’s smallest city. 

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I had to include one picture from London, so here’s the Elizabeth Tower, home to Big Ben

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And that’s it! Thanks for joining me.

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I was watching the sun set the other evening. It was beautiful. It got me thinking about all the things that are orange. 

If I was an autumn leaf I’d be hanging on to my twig, playing tug of war with the breeze. 

If I was a mushroom I’d be one of those orange ones, I like to think I’m a fun guy, even if my jokes are a bit corny! Corn is kind of orangy too.

Deer are orange. I was a deer once, well kind of. She used to say ‘do this dear’, and  ‘do that dear’!

If I was an ape I’d like to be an orangutan. 

I spoke to a pumpkin this morning, it was feeling gutted, so I guess being orange does have some disadvantages.

I like orange hair. They call it ginger, but I call it orange. I like oranges too, though they sometimes give me the pip. One told me to pith off once! 

Donald Duck has an orange beak, orange legs and orange feet. Not the only Donald to like a touch of orange!

I heard a quote about orange the other day, ‘orange relates to adventure and risk-taking, inspiring physical confidence, competition, as well as independence’. It was written by someone called Anorangemouse, no, Anonymous. An odd name! I bet he or she had orange locks!

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All together now…

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Picture credits from top to bottom – Asa Rodger @ Unsplash, Sir. Simo @ Unsplash, Doncoombez @ Unsplash, Benjamin Lehman @ Unsplash

*The view from my window right now!

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Huge thanks to Sadje for hosting What Do You See? not just today, but for the past four years!

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Just look at him. You’d need more than magic to breath life back into that broken soul. 

Abra Dabra was famed for performing tricks on stage, including one in which he put his precious wife and able assistant Nesta in a box, and she’d appear to disappear.

However, the last time he attempted it, it seems something went wrong because disappear she did, literally. Thank goodneses it wasn’t the stunt where he pretended to cut her in half with a chain saw, that would have been bloody awful in both senses of the word!

The weeks and months have dragged by since that day and there’s still no news of her whereabouts. Perhaps she’s a ghost, floating in the breeze. Who can tell? 

Poor Abra.

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This week’s words at The Sunday Whirl are – magic back broken nest seems drag news breeze life ghost need tell

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It was just another evening at The Baaamy Inn and Babs was lost in her phone, “I’ve just found an amazing recipe”, she said, “it uses  basil, oregano, cumin, marjoram, fennel, cayanne, tumeric, sage, tarragon, bay leaves, coriander, thyme, pepper, chives, nutmeg, cinnamon, rosemary, cloves, star anise, paprika, dill, ginger, mustard, and fenugreek”; Ted started licking his lips, “that sounds delicious, do you think you could cook me some?” he asked; “I’m afraid I don’t have the thyme”, said Bab’s with a big grin on her face – you should have seen Joker Colin’s reaction!

Suzie at the next table lept to her feet, “I used to love The Spice Girls”, she said, ”Ginger, Sporty, Scary, Baby and Posh”; “they’re probably old ladies by now”, said Ted, “more like Whinger, Shorty, Hairy, Baggy and the one with all those millions in the bank, errr, oh yes, Dosh spice!”

“You’ve not met my new lady friend yet”, said George, “Verity is the spice of my life; she writes poems and I thought I’d surprise her by writing one myself, it’s still a work in progress but so far it goes like this, ahem…

I met her twice and thought she’s nice,

I rolled a dice and won her heart ,

she’s scared of mice, more so lice, 

she can’t eat rice ‘cos it makes her…you know,

she likes tooth paste that tastes of spice, 

it costs a lot but it’s worth the price….

…that’s as far as I’ve got, do you think she’ll like it?”

“My husband says the strangest things”, said Knitter Natalie ”the other evening I was heating up a curry in the microwave and he said we shouldn’t put anything spicy in it because it already spys on us and that’ll make things worse; I said that was nonsense, electrical things don’t spy, then suddenly the Alexa thingamajig yelled, ‘oh yes we do’, and the television started laughing!”; “really?”, asked Polly, “only kidding”, said Natalie as the lamp on the wall behind her blinked!

Once again it was time for Colin tell a joke or two…or three… or more;  “the only spice they don’t have in heaven is cinna-man – a squirrel’s favourite spice is nutmeg – pepper was sentenced to prison for a-salt – most of the Spice Girls can’t buy petrol (gasoline to some of you!) but Geri can – someone threw a spice jar at me, good job I saw it cummin – when garlic gets hot it takes off its cloves – small peppers are not very hot because they are a little chilli – a chef once warned me about herbs, it was sage advice – I rearrange my herb jars because I like controlling the thyme – the guy that wrote that book about herbs and spices is a seasoned expert – what herb is all shook up? Elvis Parsley – you only microwave fish for tuna half minutes – you may think your microwave’s spying, but your vacuum cleaner’s been gathering dirt on you for years…..”

With a week and a day left before Halloween, Landlord Len has been busily decorating th pub with witches hats, spider’s webs and pumpkins, but there was still one thing left to do: after everyone had left he picked up the ghoolie ghost costume and mask that his dearly departed Maggie always wore on the big night in order to spice things up, then he hung in on a hook high up on the wall and said “see you next Friday my love”, before switching off the lights and heading upstairs.

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Spice.

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Ping was trudging home from work in the pouring rain. She hated rain.

As she flew through the door her boyfriend Pong couldn’t contain his amusement as she slung her sodden coat to the floor and headed for her ‘medicine cupboard’ for a glass of vino.

He went to cuddle her but she pushed him away. “You need a hug from your best friend”, he said. 

“Diamonds are a girl’s best friend”, she huffed, “which reminds me, how much longer…” 

Pong dropped to one knee, in his hand a  little black box. 

“Ping, will you do me the honour…….”  

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Ping Ping to see the squares!

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PHOTO PROMPT © David Stewart

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Thanks to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers

For Wordless Wednesday and bloghops various

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I looked back through a few of my holiday albums and picked one picture from each destination! Some are quite old, so the quality is not quite up to scratch, but I like them anyway! Here goes ….

Click to enlarge

Angkor Wat, Cambodia

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From the top of St. Peter’s Basilica, Vatican City.

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Vienna

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China, the Great Wall

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Dubai

Egypt

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Italy, Lake Garda

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Abu Dhabi, The Grand Mosque

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India, the Taj Mahal from a distance

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Morocco, a snake charmer

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Nepal, Buddha’s birthplace

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The Netherlands

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Peru, Machu Picchu

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South Africa

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Saltzburg, Austria

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Sicily

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South Italy

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Rome, the Colosseum – after I edited out hundreds of people!

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India, Kerala

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Switzerland

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Turkey, Ephesus

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Venice

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…that’s enough for now!

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“Excuse me, sir” 

“Hi, how can I help  you?”

“What time is the next gondola due? I need to get to the opera” 

“They don’t work like that, it’s not like catching the number twenty seven bus from London Bridge to the Albert Hall!”

“How do I get there then?”

“Go over this bridge, turn right, go over the next bridge, turn left, go over the next bridge…”

“Who do you think I am, Gina Lollobrigida? No, no no, that’s bridge too far”.

“Well, you could use a vaporetto”

“A vapowhato?”

“A water taxi”

“Will the driver sing to me and give me a red rose the way gondoliers do?”

”No, of course not, and anyway you’ve been watching too many romantic movies!”

“Would you mind taking me there?”

“Oh, come on then”

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“What time’s the next vaporetto due? We need to get to the opera”.

“Very funny, were not back in Venice, we’re getting the number twenty seven bus from London Bridge to the Albert Hall…but I have got you a red rose!”

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Image Credit; Karsten Winegeart @ Unsplash,

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Thanks to Sadje for hosting What Do You See?

...for this week’s The Sunday Whirl

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He spent time serving in the army as a Medical Officer. They’d shoot, he’d heal. They’d maim, he’d mend.

To this day, veterans tell stories that blow can one’s mind. How they survived after suffering injuries that should have proved fatal, is incredible. How he did it, they’ll never understand, but do it he did. Memories of their wounds don’t just trigger harrowing memories but also ones they treasure with eternal gratitude.

Nowadays, he has a practice in town, it’s where you go if you bump your head or catch a cold.  He hands you a medicinal prescription and sends you on your way. He doesn’t talk about his previous life, he’s more than happy being a humble hero. 

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This week’s words are –

serve,  gratitude, medicinal, mind, triggers, blow, control, shoot practice, treasure, you, stories

  I managed to use all but one!.

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Something’s gone wrong with my bodyclock, during the day I suffer from clinomania and at night, insomnia. At least daydreams are better than nightmares so I suppose that’s one advantage! 

That reminds me, a question at the quiz the other evening was,  ‘what’s the word for fear of teenagers?’  –  someone said euthanasia, I nearly died laughing!

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*by the way, the correct answer is ephebiphobia!.

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Thanks to Sammi Cox for hosting the Weekend Writing Prompt

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The farmers were enjoying a pint, peckish Pete was also tucking into a meal; Arthur started wriggling in his seat and said he needed a pee, so Pete said “sorry mate, I haven’t got any but you’re welcome to some cabbage, and by the way, when will Len realise that shepherds pie is made with lamb not beef?” ; “when the cows come home”, said George, “which reminds me, I think I need to reduce the number of cows I keep, and as for the sheep, I’ve got so many that I fell asleep counting them yesterday”.

“I bumped into Albert the other day”, said Colin, “you know, the  gardener up at pompous Pierre Pargiter’s mansion, he told me that Pierre’s porch was in need of repainting so his daughter offered to do it for him, well, a couple of hours later she said, ‘I’ve finished, and by the way, it’s not a Porch it’s a Bentley’!

Over at the knitting circle the needles were going at full speed like chopsticks at a Chinese Fast Food Festival; Natilie said she told her husband that she needed to see Fifty Shades of Grey, “the stupid idiot took a photo of my hair, anyway, I put him right and off we went to the cinema, well, he ordered some popcorn and the guy said ‘that’s £4 please’, and my ole’ fella said ‘that’s several times more than I paid last time’, and the guy said ‘things have changed since then old chap, movies are even made in colour now!”

It wouldn’t be an evening at The Baaamy Inn without Colin coming up with a quip or two – “what vegetable do you need when you get a flat tire? a-spare-I-guess – most French recipes require only one egg because one is ‘un oeuf’ – I told my boss I needed the afternoon off because I was going to be a father, the next day he asked if it was a boy or a girl, so I said ask me again in nine months time – I told my wife she needed to start embracing her mistakes and she gave me a hug – I told my wife I needed to see a doctor and she said ‘which doctor’ and I said no, the regular one – the nurse has a red pen incase she needs to draw blood – I needed a cigareette lighter and Amazon came up with 1,000 matches – I need a password with 8 characters so I use Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs – my American mate needed to to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual – I need a vacation, my wife needs a staycation, we ended up having an altercation…..”

“We were on holidays in Wales” said Babs “and we found ourselves in that town famous for it’s 60 letter name; being in need of something to eat we stopped at a restaurant, well, I asked the bloke behind the counter how to pronounce the name of where we were, very slowly, and he said ‘Maaaaac Donnnnnnalddddds’, cheeky devil!”

A while ago, Landlord Len thought he’d like to do something for those less fortunate than him and his customers, and so it was he started what he calls Nourishing the Needy; initially he placed a basket to the side of the bar with a sign asking people to donate unwanted items of food, tins and packets that sit in the cupboard for ages without ever being used, well it went wrong one night when a group of inebriated eaters took the sign literally and scraped the leftovers of their food from their plates into the basket; after a rethink he decided on a new approach, and now when paying your food bill you are invited to add another 10% which goes into a collection tin.

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By the way, the Welsh town Babs was talking about is –Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch – and Babs, there are 63 letters not 60!

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories. This weeks given word is Need