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Len, landlord of The Baaamy Inn has been giving thought lately to all the amusing things that have happened there over the years, infact he’s bought himself a notebook so that he can write them down, he’s calling them his Baaamy Yaaarns, like the time he purchased some new darts; he got Bert to try them out and every time one hit the board it bounced back and landed on the floor – he’d forgotten to take the little rubber point protectors off.
Natalie over at the knitting circle was reminiscing about the time fellow knitwit Polly went to buy a drink unaware that a strand of wool on her cardigan had become trapped in the back of her wobbly chair, she went to bar with a trail of yarn unravelling behind her; she passed to the left of a loving couple that was standing drinking champagne, then started to come back passing them on their right before realising she’d forgotten to pick up a straw, she went around the couple to pick one up and when she arrived back at the table not only had her cardigan shrunk by a third the loving couple were bound together; the young man said “this is fate, we should tie the knot, wool you marry me?”, and she said “of course I wool!”
“I used to knit a bit”, said Babs, “I once tried knitting my grandson a jumper, I wasn’t sure of his size so I took a guess at it, anyway when I finished it I got him to try it on but he coudn’t because it was it was way to tight, he said ‘you can’t pull the wook over my eyes, Gran’, cheeky little devil!“
Arthur was talking about an idea he once had, “I thought I’d try inventing ready coloured yarn by adding something to the sheep’s grub like food colouring or paint, that way I’d have a flock of many colours; I wasn’t just determined I was dyed-in-the-wool about it, unfortunately it didn’t work out and it was the idea that dyed not the fleece”.
“I’m writing a mystery novel” said Colin, “or am I? – the Mexican’s favoutrite novel was Tequila Mockingbird – I’ve got a book about herbs, it’s a thyme-less yarn with some sage advice – Indian folk like naan fiction – a cat swallowed a ball of yarn and had mittens – the German shepherd was selling meat instead of wool but it went from baa to wurst – a really fast sheep is a Lamb-orghini – a young sheep wearing a swimming costume is a lamb bikini – next to my house a horse crossed with a sheep, now I have a new neigh-baaa – I was surrounded by sheep, it was a lambush – a nun found knitting habit forming – pirates knit with yarrrrrn – tired people knit with yawn – it takes three sheep to knit a sweater, I didn’t even know they could knit…..”
After a busy night, Landlord Len was upstairs in his armchair, his notebook on his lap, he opened it saw a yarn about a very special Valentine’s Day event they once carried out – but he didn’t recall writing it; then he realised it was in his dearly departed Maggie’s handwriting; he looked up and smiled, and when he looked down again it had disappeared, ‘I just wanted to remind you‘, he heard Maggie say.
Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Yarn
Inspirational. I don’t know how you do it.
Fellow knitwit… I laughed way too much at this…
The yarn… Wool you marry me… I awwwed too much…
And three lambs? Really?
What I love about your humour is that I can go from a chuckle to a facepalm to a burst of laughter to a raised brow to chucking like a maniac after ten minutes of a joke I did not get (it happens with a few) and my other half looks at me like I have gone mad…
Reelika, your lovely comment makes the hours of work worthwhile! Thank you.
I’m not sure I do, Len!
Wonderful Keith. I love your characters. and the puns today were awesome.
Thanks Di, that’s so nice of you.
Nice one from Colin: “a cat swallowed a ball of yarn and had mittens”
Simple smiles! Thanks Frank.
Another great fun read, my friend!
You are machine, Keith! I am laughing every week when I stop into the Baaamy Inn.
I’ve never been called that before! Thank you SO much, Denise.
It’s always a good time if you pop in to the Baaamy, I’d think Len would have way too many stories to ever write them all.
That’s true, Mimi!
More fun as usual, and of course, I’m still grinning, especially about stories and poems… yes?
Oh yes! Thanks, Chris.
Colin’s the man this week! “…a nun found knitting habit forming – pirates knit with yarrrrrn – tired people knit with yawn – it takes three sheep to knit a sweater, I didn’t even know they could knit…..”
bar rum bump!
Silly but fun – that’s Colin!
Punny as ever! Like, ewe are woolly punny.
The Baaamy Inn is back 🙂 And with another amazing set of stories.
Excellent yarn about wool Keith.