Keith's Ramblings

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Berny Berry, the undertaker, was late meeting his friends at the pub, “sorry guys”, he said, “I had a coffin fit.”

“Oh dear” said Bob, “are you over it now?”

“Not a coughing fit, a coffin fit. One of my staff members told me Minnie Small’s husband had departed”, he said making the sign of the cross, “so I dropped by their room at the rest home to discuss her options. There she was draped in a black dress with a hood.

Thing is, Lofty Godfrey was six foot seven tall there are not many off-the-shelf coffins available that he’d fit in comfortably. I also had to inform her there was very little space left at the burial ground and suggested she might consider having him buried on some land somewhere in the wild”.

“How did it go?”, asked Jack.

“Not well”, said Berny, “I asked what his last words to her were and she said they were ‘goodbye Minnie’, turns out he hadn’t shuffled off this mortal coil, he’d left her, split up, moved away with some brazen hussy”.

“That was a waste of time then”, said Olive.

“Not entirely, she let me finish the remains of his bottle of whisky before I left!”

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Thanks to Brenda for hosting The Sunday Whirl where this week’s given words are – wild cross left staff last split burial grind space land room hood