.
Welcome back to The Baaamy Inn, where Bert is currently holding court, “this morning I suddenly had a feeling that tomorrow is our forty-ninth wedding anniversary, I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t imagining it, we met when we were just nippers on the First of May, Pinch Bum Day – I pinched hers, she pinched mine and we somehow clicked, anyway, this morning I popped into town and asked Pat the cake-baker’s man to bake us a cake as fast as he can!”
“My ‘ole man’s a great baker”, said Babs, “a cup of this, a spoon of that and a pinch of the other, into the oven then bingo, a cake appears; he knows I’m a bit of a logophile so last year for my birthday he gave me a thesaurus and made me some synonym buns just like his grammar used to bake!”
Over at the knitting circle policeman’s wife Poppy was telling them about about something that happened the other day, “apparently a bloke was hauled into the cop shop accused of stealing from a shop five times, his girlfriend had asked him to buy a dress she fancied but it was a bit too expensive so he decided to pinch it instead, unfortunately it was too long, the next one was too short, the next one too loose, the next one too tight and the fifth one just right – he got a right dressing-down!”
“I don’t know if it’s true”, said Arthur, “but I heard about a lady who was in court accused of stealing a can of peaches, the judge asked how many slices were in the tin and she said seven, so he sentenced her to week in jail, one day for each slice – then her husband jumped up and shouted ‘your honour, she also stole a can of peas’!”
“My wife gets cross when I pinch her cooking utensils”, said Colin, “but it’s a whisk I’m willing to take – she accused me of pinching her thesaurus, not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled, dismayed – two guys pinched a calender, they got six months each – someone stole my antidepressants, I hope they’re happy now – the sceptic had high blood pressure because he took everything with a pinch of salt – the salt was upset because its friend joined the pepperami – a man was accused of stealing something, his trial was a short, it was brief case – a duck that steals is a robber duck – the chap that stole potatoes got the sack – someone pinched some uranium and it became theiranium – he also stole some steel, how ironic – the only cake I don’t like is stomach ache …….!”
Landlord Len was clearing up after a busy session when he felt the presence of his dearly departed Maggie, “pinch my arm so I know it’s real”, he muttered; she pinched it and whispered, ‘yes, that’s definitely an arm my love!’
.
Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where the given word is Pinch.
Nice one from Colin: “someone stole my antidepressants, I hope they’re happy now”
Thanks, Frank!
Entertaining 🙂
Thank you so much, Reena.
Lovely Keith!
Thank you, Di.
I just can’t keep up, my head is spinning.
So was mine when I finished the audio over numerous attempts!
Great! Your Baamy Inn stories always make me laugh.
That makes all the effort worthwhile, thanks Nancy!
love the peaches and peas one!
I heard that joke years ago and at last I found a chance to use it! Thanks, Beth.
plus my nickname and grandma name is peaches !
Oh, how funny! My granddad name is Grumpy!
Your Baaamy Inn posts are so clever, I laugh the whole way through.
What more could I wish for? Thanks Mimi.
Fun, fun, and happiness, Keith. I do like your Baaamy Inn each week! 😊
I’m pleased, thanks, Chris!
Very hilarious jokes Keith
Delighted to have amused you, Sadje!
Hehehe. Men, they never get the sizes right…. And umm… Peas? 😂
You can’t blame us!!!
Cheers Reelika.
excellent punage this week!
‘specially liked (what I read as a bit of an Easter Egg) “…cake-baker’s man to bake us a cake as fast as he can!”
Hilarious…”it’s a wisk I’m willing to take…” Excellent write, Keith.
Delightful and so clever! 😀 Your audio really brings it to life, Keith.