Keith's Ramblings

It was busy in The Baaamy Inn, as well as all the usual lot there was a bunch of noisy girls over in the corner; eventually they left only to be replaced by several rowdy lads, “reminds me of that odd question in last month’s pub quiz”, said Ted, “you remember, it went something like ‘you were in a bar with 30 people, 10 left, then 5 arrived, how many people were there in the bar then?’ and we all said 25 except for you, Brainy Brian, you said 26 and got it right, I still don’t understand it”; “think about the first few words of the question again”, said Bert, “then you might!”

Whenever Landlord Len plans his quiz he always adds a question like that one, he calls it his Baaamy Baffler; “I never got that one that went, erm, ‘there were 30 cows in a field and 28 chickens, how many didn’t?’ and the awswer was 10’ – I didn’t even understand the question”, said Ted , “here’s a clue”, said Arthur, “I ate chicken for supper last night!”.

“I was thinking the other day about when I was a kid and a townie friend of mine called Mary came to stay at the farm”, said Babs, “I took her for a walk and after a while she was looking a bit tired, so I came up with a plan and said we could take a shortcut by walking across a field instead of around it, well, she looked a bit worried and said ‘but there’s a flock of cows in it’, I said ‘herd of cows, Mary, herd of cows’ and she said ‘of course I’ve heard of cows, I just said, there’s a flock of them over there’ “.

Polly at the knitting circle was looking somewhat weary, “I saw the doctor last week and he came up with a plan for me to lose some weight, he said I was to eat sensibly for two days, skip a day, eat for two days, skip a day and carry on like that, well, the eating bit’s no problem but I’m worn out by all that skipping!”.

Colin had been planning his routine for a while, and at last his moment had arrived, “my plans are weak because they never work out – I didn’t plan on getting a brain transplant but then I changed my mind – planning meals ahead is food forethought – McDonald’s is planning on making a Shakespearen burger called McBeth – my plan for tomorrow is to get some new glasses, then I’ll see what happens – a ghost plans his day with a to-boo list – I’m planning on calling my son Driew, it’s only weird if you say it backwards – I took part in a maths quiz, against all odds,I was ses bronze – the art contest ended in a draw – when NASA organises an event they planet – I told nine puns and nobody laughed, so I told another one, no pun in ten did……”.

Len’s dearly departed Maggie used to come up with some really silly questions and answers for quiz night, like a fake noodle being called an impasta, a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear, a sleeping replile, a dinosnore; “I  could do with you help right now, Maggie”, he muttered, ‘ask them how they tell the difference between male and female ghosts’, she whispered, ‘boooooobs!’ – you should have seens Len’s face!

.

Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Plan