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Once again everyone was present at The Baaamy Inn; “what’s that slimy mess on your trousers, Ted?”, asked Arthur, “well, I was playing golf with Micky March, the bloke with the chickens across the road from me that sells eggs at the market, and as I was about to tee off he suddenly said ‘look, there’s Flighty Flora’; obviously I stopped and turned, whilst unbeknown to me he was replacing my golf ball with one of his white eggs, hence that mess, he really is as mad as a March hare!”
“Time really does march by”, said Babs, “it seems like only yesterday it was February and now April’s knocking on the barn door; this month alone I’ve given birth to thirty five lambs – not literally of course even though I am married to Bertram Ramsbottom!”
“I’m joining all you other farmers on that protest march on Sunday” said Arthur, “not sure what it’s about but I thought I’d better take part; I just hope it’s not like the one I did when I was in the army; we were told we had to march ten miles, then half way up a very steep hill the Sergeant Major said ‘you’ve done five miles, just a few more to go…before we reach the starting point”.
“When I was a teenager I was an army cadet” said George, “one day we were all standing to attention about to do some march training, except for the lad next to me who was slouching; the Sergeant Major said ‘step forward boy, what’s your name?’ and he said ‘John, mister’ – the officer said ‘we don’t use first names just surnames and you call me Sergeant Major, now I ask you again tell me your name’, and the lad said ‘Darling, John Darling Sergeant Major’ – we were in hysterics!”
“I’ve got a French hen”, said Colin, “it only lays single eggs but un oeuf is enough – a row of rabbits marching backwards is called a receding hare-line – March is the best time to buy a mattress, that’s when they’re most springy – March 4th is not just a date, it’s a command too – there’s a place where January comes after February, and December comes before September, it’s the dictionary – how many months have 28 days?…all of them – nine months feels like a maternity – my wife said I’m in for a big surprise in nine months time, I can’t wait for Santa to come – bees become less decisive after April, they become maybees – two guys stole a calender, they both got six months – my mate got fired from a calender factory for taking a day off – how many seconds are there in a year? 12, January the 2nd, February the 2nd, March the 2nd…..”
Len was having fun making up March related things he thought his dearly departed Maggie might like to do, like eating marshmallows, mashing potatoes, playing matchstick puzzles, trying some magic mushrooms even; “what do you think Maggie?” he chuckled, ‘you should do it again in April Maybe’ she whispered!
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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is March.
Hilarious puns Keith.
Not too many I hope! Thanks, Sadje.
No- just right 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
I think I look like a lunatic looking at my phone, reading and chucking to myself. That’s on this week’s six if yours!
If anyone laughs at you blame it on me!
Bertram Ramsbottom! Too funny!!
Thanks, Nance!
Lovely Keith.
Thank you, Di.
‘ a receding hare-line’ love it!
Thanks, Beth!
Keith you put a big smile on my face with these.
Mission accomplished! Thanks, Lisa.
You’re very welcome.
Heeheehee! Visiting the Baaamy each week is great fun.
When my children were young, they took great delight in saying,
Mary had a little lamb
But I ate it!
Then a short while back i read,
Mary had a little lamb
and the midwife fainted!
Haha, reading your comment was great fun too! Thank you, Mimi.
normally I’m loving the first ‘sentence’ this week, it’s Colin
“two guys stole a calender, they both got six months – my mate got fired from a calendar factory for taking a day off – how many seconds are there in a year? 12, January the 2nd, February the 2nd, March the 2nd….”
always fun to visit the Inn
You should have a beer with him one day and maybe have a pun-off!
it’s incredible that you’re able to come up with these every week! I bow to your mastery ~
I surprise myself usually! Delighted to have amused you once again
Super puns… as always, Keith! Let’s all march together….
All together now…..!
A crackin’ round of puns, Keith. Omelette you go before I dish up some too… albeit not as good as yours…mine will be scrambled at best.
Don’t doubt yourself Suzette! I’m sure your yolks will be really punny, alwhite?
Ahahaha! Well said, Keith. Thank you!
Nice one from Colin: “how many months have 28 days?…all of them”