A short story

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I’d waited ages. I thought the day would never come. Then come it did.

It was crowded, so crowded. I looked this way and that.

Where was my prey? Where was it? It had to be there, somewhere. 

At last, I saw it. Hiding in plain sight. 

Shaking with trepidation I creapt closer, my nerves tingling.

‘Come on, you can do it’.

I raised the rifle to my shoulder.  I took aim. Three, two, one… 

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The gun went pop, the pile of tin cans fell to the ground and I was handed a cuddly toy!

Mission accomplished.

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Touch Froggie to visit the squares – but approach with caution!

Thanks to Rochelle for hosting Friday Fictioneers

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

56 thoughts on “A short story

  1. Sadje's avatar Sadje January 21, 2026 / 15:34

    Too much suspense

      • Sadje's avatar Sadje January 23, 2026 / 12:51

        😂😂😂

  2. Violet Lentz's avatar Violet Lentz January 21, 2026 / 15:42

    So much tension! Excellent take!

  3. gc1963's avatar gc1963 January 21, 2026 / 16:30

    That was cute

  4. Neil MacDonald's avatar Neil MacDonald January 21, 2026 / 17:00

    Worth all the angst for a cuddly toy

  5. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin January 21, 2026 / 17:28

    Oh, Keith I did not see that ending coming…well done setup to a fabulous ending.

  6. James Pyles's avatar James Pyles January 21, 2026 / 18:43

    The great hunter eats well tonight.

  7. beth's avatar beth January 21, 2026 / 18:53

    surprise!

  8. pensitivity101's avatar pensitivity101 January 21, 2026 / 19:56

    Ha! Hubby adjusted the sights on a fairground stall and hit 5 bulls. I could have had the star prize, but all I wanted was a coconut!

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings January 23, 2026 / 13:34

      That’s funny, you didn’t set your heights that high!

      • pensitivity101's avatar pensitivity101 January 23, 2026 / 16:48

        All I wanted was a coconut. The guy on the stall was relieved to keep his First Prize.

  9. Christine Goodnough's avatar Christine Goodnough January 21, 2026 / 21:31

    Good aim! Another upbeat quick tale.
    I heard of two cousins who met at a fair one day, and the one showed the other his $50 dog. Took him that many tries, at $1 each, to finally win the plush pup for his lady love.

  10. Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li January 21, 2026 / 21:59

    Keith this little kid reminds me of my brothers when they were little. Thank you for the big smile.

      • Lisa or Li's avatar Lisa or Li January 23, 2026 / 16:17

        You’re very welcome <3

  11. Dale's avatar Dale January 22, 2026 / 00:47

    And… was there a lovely lady to hand the prize to or was it meant just for him?

      • Dale's avatar Dale January 23, 2026 / 14:17

        Hmmmm….

  12. Unknown's avatar Anonymous January 22, 2026 / 01:14

    I was worried there for a minute. Great ending, Keith.

  13. James McEwan's avatar James McEwan January 22, 2026 / 14:42

    The fear of failure, overcome by success shows how it is.

  14. ceayr's avatar ceayr January 22, 2026 / 16:44

    Eejit!
    Nice one.

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings January 23, 2026 / 14:30

      I’ll tell him you said that! Fortuntely, the rifle is chained to the stall!

      Thanks all the same, CE!

  15. Peabea's avatar Peabea January 23, 2026 / 00:39

    Oh how fun that read was. Great story, and I didn’t guess the ending. 🙂

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings January 23, 2026 / 14:36

      It wasn’t the ending I originally intended! Thanks so much.

  16. rochellewisoff's avatar rochellewisoff January 23, 2026 / 12:39

    Dear Keith,

    Love the story of this little intrepid hunter. Glad he was rewarded for his efforts. And we are rewarded for sharing in his joy.
    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings January 23, 2026 / 14:41

      Thanks, Rochelle. If I could, I’d award you a lollipop!

  17. Chris Hall's avatar Chris Hall January 23, 2026 / 15:26

    Yay, excellent… I thought it was something scary until the end. Well done, Keith!

  18. Russell Gayer's avatar Russell Gayer January 23, 2026 / 21:09

    Ol’ Eagle Eye comes through again. Nice shooting.

  19. Prior...'s avatar Prior... January 24, 2026 / 05:50

    Keith – excellent shooter to get it on the first round – and could imagine the toy being pulled down and given to him

  20. plaridel's avatar plaridel January 24, 2026 / 19:47

    great take on the prompt. i didn’t see it coming. 🙂

  21. Unknown's avatar Anonymous January 24, 2026 / 20:37

    Goodness! this made me laugh out loud! Thank you!

  22. Brenda's Thoughts's avatar Brenda's Thoughts January 25, 2026 / 00:09

    I was worried. Great twist! I loved hitting those cans and winning stuffed toys!

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