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It was another evening at The Baaamy Inn, and Suzie at the next table was wafting her hand around in the hope someone would notice the diamond ring she was wearing, nobody did so she jumped to her feet and announced that she was engaged to be married; “who is he, and why’s he not here?” asked Babs, ”well”, said Suzie, ”his name is Brucie and we have agreed that once a week we’ll go our own ways, me here and him to the golf course, he’s a great golfer and runs rings around the other players” – “what does he play off?” asked Arthur, “grass I assume”, said Suzie”.
“I remember when I tried getting engaged for the third time a couple of years ago”, said Ted, “I didn’t splash out on an expensive ring in case she said no, so I used the ring-pull thing off the top of a beer can as a temporary measure; I got down on one knee, asked the question and she said ‘no’ then walked off leaving me down there, she didn’t even help me to get up – it took me ages, you know what my knees are like”… Suzie jumped to her feet again and stated singing, “these knees are made for walking, and that’s what they won’t do…..”
That reminded George about the karaoke session they once had when one of the ladies from the knitting circle sang Ring of Fire, Len was lighting a candle next to Maggie’s photo at the end of the bar at the time, she loved karioke nights, and he became distracted and somehow ignited a pile of paper napkins setting off the fire alarm, “it was more in tune with the backing track than she was”, George said – you shold have seen the look knitter Natilie gave him!
Arthur was late arriving, “I used the ring road rather than driving through town” he said, but ended up in a traffic jam; which reminds me, I was driving along there other day and saw an accident happen on the opposite carriagway, I know it’s normally illegal but I thought I aught to call the cops on my mobile phone, anyway, seconds later I saw blue flashing lights in my mirror and heard that barp-barp-barp noise cop cars make, I pulled over and congratulated them on reacting so quickly – well, the cop looked at me and said I’m charging you with using a mobile telephonic device while in control of an automobile – so much for doing the decent thing!”
Colin’s big moment had arrived, “my girlfriend wanted a ring so I said she should take her phone off silent – she saId nothing would make her happier than a diamond ring, so I gave her nothing – I was engaged 5 times, but never made it to the altar, that’s a lot of near Mrs – a bee that gets engaged is called Beyoncé – there are 3 rings in a relationship, engagement ring, wedding ring and suffer ring – a hippies’ wife is called Mississippi – I got a new iPhone for my ex wife, that wasn’t a bad trade – she still misses me but her aim is getting better – a smartphone went to jail charged with battery – mobiles in prison are called cell phones – I dropped my phone from the twentieth floor, good job it was in aeroplane mode – how do you get a farm girl to marry you? first a tractor – never marry a tennis player, love means nothing to them…….”
It was long gone closing time and Len was sitting upstairs in his armchair, he glanced at the velvet pouch on the mantlepiece that contained Maggie’s engagement and wedding rings ; “I hope Suzie will be as happy as we were” he said – ‘are’, Maggie whispered in his ear, ‘we are’.
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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Ring
I needed a good laugh this morning, dear Keith. Thanks!
Mission accomplished!
My favorite ‘notice my ring already” line is- “Ugh! It is so hot in here with this ring on!” Save me a spot next to Suzie- I wanna see how it goes over at the Baaamy….
I like that line!
There are three empty chairs at Suzie’s table – I’m sure she’d enjoy your company!
Many great ones from Colin. And I liked Ted’s idea of using “the ring-pull thing off the top of a beer can” in case she declines.
It seemed a good idea at the time!
Lovely Keith.
I’m pleased you thought so, Di, thank you.
I think it’s Len and Maggie………….
very fun – and proposing with a beer-can ring pull was my fav
Delighted to have amused you!
🙂
What fun it is to listen in on everyone. I’m glad we won’t lose Suzie, even if she does have a sweetheart now.
If he hadn’t agreed, nor would Suzie – she’s going nowhere!
I love the ‘we are’ reminder )
He stood corrected! Thanks, Beth.
Lovely story Keith.
Thank you so much, Sadje.
You’re very welcome my friend
“…she saId nothing would make her happier than a diamond ring, so I gave her nothing”
then I moved on, but reading the rest of Colin’s paragraph, damn! total gold
Thank you so much. Colin will be delighted to hear it I’m sure!
“…a bee that gets engaged is called Beyoncé….Oh that is brilliant! Well done Keith.
The silliest ones are often the best! Cheers, Suzette.
Yes! They sure are, Keith. Cheers.
Aww, sweet end for Len… and Maggie.
There were….are a lovely couple!
I love that these tales always end in a tender moment.
Len insists upon them. Thank you so much, Liz.
As well he should!
Colin takes top spot this week, Keith! I love that the Baaamy Inn closes with a sweet moment between Len and Maggie.