Six Sentences

Keith's Ramblings

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Farmer Ted seemed to be having difficulty drinking his beer, almost as much poured out of his mouth as went in: “I went to to the dentist to have a filling and my gob’s still numb”, he mumbled, “he asked me if I smoke or drink coffee, and I said I drink it of course, what a stupid question”; “I hope you weren’t rude to him” said Colin, “dentists have fillings too – speaking of stupid questions, I rang the surgery to make an appointment and the receptionist said ‘there’s a slot free this afternooon, tooth hurty?’, and I said of course, that’s why I’m ringing!” 

Arthur suffers from dentophobia, or dentistnobia as he calls it, and was keen to change the subject; “I rang the hotel in my lad’s town up north the other day, because we fancied visiting him and his family, the receptionist said the hotel was full so I said ‘I bet you’d find a room if Madonna wanted to stay’, and she said ‘probably’, so I said ‘well, she can’t come so we’ll have her room! – and no, that didn’t really happen, I just wanted to play Colin at his own game!”

Polly over at the knitting circle was telling her fellow knitwits about a sudden urge she had the other day; “I thought I’d try to make a pie, I don’t know why, I just did but I couldn’t decide what to fill it with, meat or sweet, anyway I decided upon a lemon meringue pie, a crusty pastry base and a lemony filling topped with a cloud of fluffy meringue” – “the stuff Australians use to make boomerangs”, quipped Natilie!

Having had his fill of others people’s puntifications, joker Colin decided to show them how it’s really done – “my dentist removed the wrong tooth, it was accidental – he’s the worst dentist in the world and has a little plaque to prove it – the pie went to the dentist because it needed a filling – the pie crossed the road because it was meetin’ potato – I cook spaghetti to pasta time – a guy fell in a hole filled with water, he couldn’t see that well – he felt ill whenever he got in his car, he had carowner virus – Poland is full of poles, Holland is full of holes – which city is filled with rodents? Hamsterdam – how many ants does it tale to fill an apartment block? ten ants – my wife’s so bad at cooking she uses the smoke alarm as a timer – I’m scared of French chefs, they give me the crepes ……”  

Meanwhile, Ted was still struggling with his pint, his tankard was almost empty much of its contents having ended up in his lap making it look as if he’d pee’d his pants – walking home through the town could prove very embarrasing – anyway, Arthur offered to go  and get him a refill, but this time with a straw to make drinking it a little easier.

He walked to the bar where Landlord Len was filling in answers to a crossword puzzle between serving customers … clue, gone, answer – missing … clue, song by Rod Stewart something May, answer – Maggie … clue, extra, answer – more ... clue, every, answer – each … clue, opposite to night, answer – day.

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Fill.

22 thoughts on “Six Sentences”

  1. Frank Hubeny's avatar Frank Hubeny Oct 9, 2025 / 16:48

    Nice one from Colin: “my wife’s so bad at cooking she uses the smoke alarm as a timer”

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  2. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin Oct 9, 2025 / 17:07

    I drink coffee of course…lol! Brilliant humor and a fabulous flossophy on puns, Keith. Thanks for the laughs. Cheers.

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  8. Chris Hall's avatar Chris Hall Oct 10, 2025 / 14:05

    Excellently done as ever, Keith – plus I’d really like some lemon meringue pie just now!

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  10. clark's avatar clark Oct 11, 2025 / 23:41

    Here’s an odd compliment* Read right past this: “tooth hurty?” and, something saying there was one you missed…went back, re-read, tre-read got it

    *ikr?

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  11. GirlieOnTheEdge's avatar GirlieOnTheEdge Oct 14, 2025 / 01:10

    Keith, you’ve outdone yourself! Can’t pick a favorite because I laughed just as hard beginning to end (except for the last part about Maggie).

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