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It was another evening in The Baaamy Inn and Babs was telling her fellow farmers about her walk in the park; “I saw this young lady sitting on a bench crying, she had tears rolling down her face, I sat down beside her and asked what was wrong and she said ‘this bench has just been painted and now my favourite skirt’s ruined’; I was wearing my best jeans and they were ruined too so I bought myself these new ones”; George asked how she’d managed to tear them to shreds already and she told him they were trendy jeans and meant to be torn, they were distressed ones – but not half as distressed as that poor young lady!
“t’other day the missus dragged me out shopping”, said Arthur, “and somehow we got seperated, my phone rang and it was her asking where I was, and I said ‘you know that jewelers, the one where you saw that diamond necklace you liked?’, and suddenly she burst into tears, not distressed ones like Bab’s jeans but what sounded like tears of joy, anyway I said, ‘well, I’m in the butcher’s shop next door’ – she’s hardly spoken to me since!”
“I could be in trouble if my wife finds out what I did yesterday”, said Ted, “I was going through loads of old paperwork and I thought I’d save the important ones and tear up the others, well, I inadvertently tore up our wedding certificate; I tried putting it together using sticky tape, not easy for someone who’s useless a jigsaws, and it now says that Mister Janet Paul Jones married Miss Edward Mary Smith in 1869!”
“Why does a bride always cry at her wedding?” asked Colin, ”because she doesn’t marry the best man – bride’s tears are eye dew – the wedding was so beautiful even the cake was in tiers – a man was crying over his lawn mower, he was going through a rough patch – I caught a boy tearing pages from a dictionary, he was up to mischief – the paper tearing champion has died, RIP – a bull tore up some used books because they were all red – I hope I can repair my trousers, at least it seams sew – I saw a lady crying in the supermarket, she’d just lost £200 so being the kind guy I am, I gave her £50 from the £200 I just found….”
This Sunday, The Baaany Inn will be holding it’s annual Biggest Pumkin Competition, you would not believe the size of some of them, last year several were brought along in wheelbarrows, a couple were rolled along the road and another arrived on a fork-lift truck, it was so big that joker Colin accused the grower of ‘pumpkin’ it up’; they don’t go to waste, after the event, some are carved into grotesque heads in readiness for Halloween and others are used to make the Inn’s delicious pumpkin pie and soup that always feature on the pub menu in October.
Several years ago, Landlord Len thought he’d apply some false tan lotion to his face, unfortunately it went bright orange and as a result, Maggie nicnamed him Pumpkin from that day until the day she passed away, only in private of course, but today Len decided to talk about it, and as he did so tears trickled down his cheeks; ‘hello Pumpkin’, she whispered in his ear.
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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Tear.
Keith's Ramblings 
I say the wives have it this week! Loved my visit at the Baaamy this week.
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Thanks, Jodi. It certainly seems so, and that’s without the knitters joining in!
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Oh gosh, you had me choking with laughter once again.
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Thank goodness you survived! Cheers, Rene.
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Have a great weekend!
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Hilarious story telling as usual Keith. You had be chuckling at your delightful pun-fest from the ripped jeans to the puniltimate paragraph of pumpkins carved giving us the inside scoop.
Lovely ending with a tender moment betweeen Len and Maggie.
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Thanks so much Suzette, writing my Baaamy tale is the highlight of my week – l’m pleased it’s worthwhile!
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Ooh I think our current’leader’ put on the fake orange but it stuck
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I think you’re right – Donald Pumpk!
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Some excellent laughs today and that ending was a real lovely touch. Well done, dear Keith!
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I’m pleased you liked it, Nancy, thank you.
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Lovely post again Keith………… bless Maggie.
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Thanks, Di.
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Nice one from Colin: “the wedding was so beautiful even the cake was in tiers”
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I’ve been waiting to use that one for ages!
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Awww, pumpkin, it sounds like another fabulous week with the crew from the Baaamy.
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Never a dull moment! Thanks, Mimi.
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Ahh pumpkins… excellent! 🎃 More jokes for October I’m sure!
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…but of course! Thanks, Chris.
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And a lovely haunted Halloween for Len!
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Absolutely! Thanks so much Liz.
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Tears? Well, this story made me laugh until I cried. Is it true or fiction? It doesn’t matter… it’s funny, and it will stay in my memory.
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Half and half! Many of the things I write about, and the people I involved are inspired by the goings on at my own crazy pub a few years back!
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&$(#h…&(*$# …and…. ?!*
*too many too count**
**we have come to expect nothing less…
(still our faves: “she’d just lost £200 so being the kind guy I am, I gave her £50 from the £200 I just found” and…and!
we suspect you’ve been doing it all along and we’ve only just recognized it… but the Dodgsonian opening of the Six with a scene such as
I sat down beside her and asked what was wrong and she said ‘this bench has just been painted and now my favourite skirt’s ruined’
nice work
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The opening line of your delightful comment is much appreciated. Who needs words, after all?
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The opening line of your delightful comment is much appreciated. Who needs words, after all?
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Lovely 6 Keith
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