Six Sentences

Keith's Ramblings

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“Sorry I’m late”  said Ted, “I needed to go to the petrol station to get the Land Rover topped up, and while I was there I thought I’d check my tyres, they were looking a little flat, so I went to put a twenty pence coin in the tyre topper-upper machine and discovered it had gone up to fifty pence; when I was paying for my fuel I asked the guy at the counter why it was costing more to blow up tyres, and he said one word, ‘inflation’!”

“That reminds me”, said Babs, “about the time I dug out my old bicycle, I’d not ridden it for years; the tyres were flat so I pumped them up, the wheels squeeked so I oiled them, it was covered in dust so I gave it a good clean, then I had a go at riding it; I was doing fine all the time road was flat, but when it came to steep downhill bit I realised I hadn’t checked the brakes and unfortunately they weren’t working – seconds later I was flat on my back and my bike had a buckled wheel!”

It was Arthurs’ turn to pipe up, “I saw Bart the Fart the other day, I’d forgotten about not squeezing his hand when you shake it, it always sets one off – if flatulence was an Olympic sport he’d always be at the top of the the poo-dium, anyway, I was thinking about when we were students and several of us shared a flat, he took farting to another level, literally, even the guys in the flat above ours could smell him!”

“He always wanted to be an entertainer,” said knitter Plain Pearl, “but his jokes fell flat and his singing was flat, I remember the time he had a go at karaoke and the song he sang was by Celine Whatsername, halfway through there was an unexpected sound and, my mate said ‘I’ve never heard a trumpet in the backing track before’, and I said it wasn’t a trumpet it was Bart’s built-in wind instrument”; that got Suzie from the next table onto her feet and singing – “my fart will go on and on…” 

Colin’s big moment had arrived: “my friend Ruth fell off the back of my bike, I carried on ruthlessly – my bike fell over because it was too tyred – I told my friend she had a puncture and she said it was okay because it was only flat at he bottom – I got a flat tyre thanks to a fork in the road – I had a go at karaoke once, at first I was afraid, oh, I was petrified – a classical singer had a go, it was her first operatunity – a cow’s favourite Beatles song is Hay Chewed – E flat, G flat, and B flat walk into a pub, and the bartender says ‘sorry, if I serve minors I’ll get into treble’…….” 

Landlord Len is the first to admit that cooking is not his thing, since he lost Maggie he’s relied upon chef Betty to knock something up for him, however after watching an episode or two of Masterchef on the telly he decided to have a go at it, unfortunately his souffles ended up flat, his flatbread was flatter than flat, his attempt at making puff pastry fell flat, his cupcakes were as flat as pancakes and his pancakes puffed up like pillows…at least he tried!

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Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories, where this week’s given word is Flat

25 thoughts on “Six Sentences”

  1. Violet Lentz's avatar Violet Lentz Aug 14, 2025 / 18:56

    You have outdone yourself this week! -E flat, G flat, and B flat walk into a pub, and the bartender says ‘sorry, if I serve minors I’ll get into treble’…….”

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  3. Prior...'s avatar Prior... Aug 14, 2025 / 21:34

    oh my gosh – you are so funny and your natural wit woven in to stories always amazes me – laughing pretty good with all and esp this: “more to blow up tyres, and he said one word, ‘inflation”

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  5. clark's avatar clark Aug 14, 2025 / 22:47

    “…why it was costing more to blow up tyres, and he said one word, ‘inflation’!””

    dude! talk about coming out swinging!

    lol

    fun as usual

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  6. beth's avatar beth Aug 15, 2025 / 02:07

    I think they needed to open the door so beat could air out a bit

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  7. messymimi's meanderings's avatar messymimi's meanderings Aug 15, 2025 / 03:18

    Heeheehee! It’s always fun to see what this gang is up to. I’m sorry Landlord Len’s cooking left something to be desired.

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  11. Frank Hubeny's avatar Frank Hubeny Aug 15, 2025 / 18:02

    Nice one from Arthur about Bart the Fart: “he took farting to another level, literally, even the guys in the flat above ours could smell him”

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. Liz H-H's avatar Liz H-H Aug 19, 2025 / 18:30

    Okay, this week’s installment was a gas, but your dad jokes never fall flat!

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