Keith's Ramblings

.

.

Farmer Fred was telling the Baaamy farmers about an awkward situation that occurred the other day, “a cop turned up with a warrant”, he said, “he needed to search the farm but he wouldn’t say what for, well, I warned him not to go into the barn, but he said he had to look everywhere – you should have seen the look on his face when he ran out of the barn with Dozer, my bull, chasing him; he said ‘do something’, so I said ‘show it your warrant’, he’s not been back!”

Talk of warrants reminded Babs of something, she’s got a son called Warren; “when he left school he started working on our farm but he never enjoyed it, he was constantly tired; when he was out with his mates one night he kept nodding off and one of them said ‘you need a rest Warren’ and that was the moment he realised he wanted to be a policeman!”.

The ladies of the knitting circle weren’t knitting, with Summer approaching there’d be little need for mittens and jumpers, so instead they were sitting in a line with a long piece of cloth draped across each of their laps and they were embroidering images of the locals and goings-on at The Baaamy Inn; “I know it’s an embroidery” said Polly, “but I think it warrants the name The Baaamy Tapestry in honour of the Bayeux Tapestry which itself is not a tapestry but an embroidery – not a lot of people know that!”

Meanwhile back at the farmer’s table Arthur was telling them about the rabbit warren in his copse; “I saw a dead rabbit lying on the ground surrounded by several other rabbits, I think it had been shot, I know it sounds strange but I thought they looked rather sad, anyway one was sitting upright and I  realised it was a rabbi reading a rabbeulogy – only kidding! – Suzie from the next table jumped up and started to sing – run rabbit, run rabbit, run run run –  bang, bang, bang, bang goes the farmer’s gun, run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run, run!

“What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?” asked Colin, “14 carrot gold – rabbits like beer because it’s hoppy – what do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards? a receding hare line – the cop searching Fred’s field was a beet cop –  a policeman saw a lady driving while knitting, ‘pullover’ he said, ‘no it’s scarf’ she replied – a policeman that likes his bed is an undercover cop –  the policeman pulls over a reckless driver and asks ‘how high are you?’, and the bloke says ‘no, it’s hi, how are you?’ – knock knock… get a warrant …”.

Landlord Len was looking out of the window, the garden was looking a bit worse for wear and he thought it warranted a bit of a makeover, even the Magnolia he’d planted in memory of Maggie didn’t bloom as well this spring; landscape gardener Garry was due in soon, he’d get him to come up with some ideas to get it looking good in time for the Baaamy barbecue next month!

.

.

Thanks to Denise at GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories. This week’s given word is Warrant

In case you are unaware, the Bayeux Tapestry is a 70 meter long embroidered canvas which tells the story of the conquest of England in 1066 and the battle that took place a few miles from where I’m sitting right now! This is a small section.