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They were all present and correct at The Baaamy Inn, except that is, for one chap, Gaunt Gary who it seems has found himself a new haunt, “it’s that cafe or bistro or whatever down in the town”, said Ted, “I’ve heard all sorts of stories about it, it sounds a bit spooky to me, quite a lot of odd characters frequent it I’m told”; “Gary should fit in well then!” said Fred!
“Talking of spooky”, said Babs, “someone was telling me about a pub called The Gallows, apparently back in the seventeen hundreds it was a courthouse, well, a villain called Godfrey got a death sentence and was hung in the cellar and it’s said he haunted the place from that day forth; well, one halloween the landlord held a ghost-themed fancy dress party in the cellar, apparently Ghost Godfrey was so spooked by what he saw he ran off and has never haunted the pub since!”
“I was thinking about what I’d like to come back as after I pop my clogs”, said Arthur, “I think a cat would be a good bet, after all, the are the most pampered creatures on earth, I initially thought a dog, but unlike cats they have to do what they’re told and I have enough of that in this life; however, my New Year’s resolution was to be more steadfast, stand up for myself, be a real man in the future … I’ve just remembered, she’s told me to put the bins out when I get home, if I forget it again I’ll never hear the last of it”.
The pub door flew open and in waltzed Knitter Nora flaunting a very fancy gown, she stood before the bar, looked Landlord Len in the eye, did a piroette then placed a finger beneath her chin and winked; her fellow knitwits were flabbergasted, “if Len’s late wife winessed that”, said Polly, “she’ll haunt Nora for ever and a day!”
“Ahem”, said Colin as he sought to gain the attention of his fellow farmers, “four didn’t enter the haunted house because it was two squared – I had breakfast in a haunted French cafe, it gave me the crepes – I went to a boring haunted mansion, nothing jumped out at me – there’s one pie that always comes back to scare me, a boo-merengue – what do you call a ghostly chicken? A poultrygeist – I once stayed in a haunted house that played 70’s music, at first I was afraid, I was petrified…”; he was suddenly interrupted by Suzie from the next table who jumped to her feet and began to sing – “I will survive, I will survive!”
Len was feeling a little down having overheard so much talk of mortality during the evening, so after everybody had gone he started playing I Will Always Love You on his music machine, the first song played at their wedding; “Maggie”, he said, “would you do me the honour of dancing with me?”
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*By the way, the second sentence was loosely based on an a actual pub where for several years I worked as a chef. At least two criminals were hung in the cellar and it was said to be haunted. A group of ghost hunters once stayed the night and the series of events that those present winessed was the scariest thing imaginable!
I wrote about it back in 2007. It’s here if you’re interested –
Things That Go Bump in the Night
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Thanks to Denise of GirlieOnTheEdge for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Haunt.
Keith's Ramblings 
Yet another show stopping performance. You are setting the bar entirely too high, Keith.
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That’s so nice of you, Jodi, Let’s hope it doesn’t come tumbling down!
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I especially liked how Ghost Godfrey was so startled by the Halloween party that he never came back to haunt the place.
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Thanks, Frank. He recieved a bit of his own treatment and didn’t like it one bit!
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Wow the haunted pub!!!
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I know what it’s like to work in one!
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you should write a short story about it
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The moral, stay out of haunted bars, go to the Baaamy!
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Absolutely, dear departed Maggie has no wish to frighten anybody!
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Haunted pubs? Lots of those. Just thinking about The York Arms (in York), and I very much remember that one, and they was a ghost, in fact, a poltergeist… in the night and often!
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I can imagine spirits liking York with its narrow streets and ancient buildings! I might just pop into that pub next time I’m up that way!
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One of your best, dear Keith! I was giggling all the way through.
Bill’s sister is big time up the family tree and her extensive climbing has uncovered some interesting info. One of Bill’s great-great-great-whatevers was the first person to arrive from England to get himself hanged for some dastardly. How’s that for distinction?
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I’m so glad it was giggleworthy!
What an interesting thing to find out! One of my daughters has done quite a bit of digging, but she’s come across nothing quite like that. That’s distinction alright!
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Scary and funny
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So many fun puns!!
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as always your penultimate paragraph? bah rum bump! lol excellent
the Cafe and/or Bistro will always welcome a fellow (we used to welcome Masons in but there conversations were too jarring… had a convention of the Rosicrucian’s forget the name…
dude! that punning thing, not as easy as you make it look
If you or any of the patrons of the B. Inn are ever in town, do not hesitate to stop inn, if they have the time to spa… (what?! that doesn’t make any sense! lol)
good Six yo
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