A unicorny story!

Keith's Ramblings

For The Unicorn Challenge photo prompt which is hosted by Jenne Gray and CEAyr

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polyurethane-manchester-bollard-1You barely notice us, do you? We stand here, day in day out doing our duty, protecting you as you wander along the pavement. 

I didn’t choose to be a bollard, it just happened. I ask you, who would choose to be one? Smokers stub their cigarettes out on me. People sit on me. Drivers scrape their cars against me when attempting to park. Do you know what’s the worst thing I have to tolerate? Dogs cocking a leg and peeing on me. Even if they’re not caught short as they pass, they can’t resist stopping and having a sniff. How would you like it? 

I consider myself similar to one of those soldiers you see outside Buckingham Palace, the ones in fur hats that stand to attention, motionless, hour after hour. The main difference is, I stand to attention outside a smelly fish shop. Also, they get photographed, I don’t. Having said that, a colleague of mine did attract the attention of a reporter from the local newspaper recently after being cruelly uprooted by a careless motorist. Rest in peace, bollard 14. 

Sorry to go on, but I feel we deserve  more respect than we’re given. I hope you now agree.

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26 thoughts on “A unicorny story!”

      • beth's avatar beth Jan 17, 2025 / 19:27

        I thought it was a descriptor for a person, but that would’ve meant your story. Took a very different turn.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Violet Lentz's avatar Violet Lentz Jan 17, 2025 / 14:26

    Now that you mention it the similarities between the bollard and the Palace Guard are staggering! They even rhyme! Nice work.

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  3. ceayr's avatar ceayr Jan 17, 2025 / 15:02

    And bollards to you too!

    Call me callous, old capstan, but I find it difficult to rustle up any degree of empathy for these dudes.

    Not exactly pillars of society, are they?

    Oh yes, I suppose they are…

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Jan 18, 2025 / 15:05

      They’ve gone down in my estimation since I bashed my car door against one this morning, it didn’t even attempt to get out of my way or applogise.

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  4. Dale's avatar Dale Jan 17, 2025 / 16:03

    I have to agree with Violet! And how often are these buggers placed in odd spaces, forcing us to go ’round. No wonder they get pissed on!

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Jan 18, 2025 / 15:08

      Too often! I’d personally draw the line when it comes to you-know-what despite their being a lack of facilities in my town, but I don’t blame the dogs!

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  7. Denise Hammond's avatar Denise Hammond Jan 17, 2025 / 21:49

    Well, that is certainly food for thought – thst I hadn’t thought of before….

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  8. Sadje's avatar Sadje Jan 18, 2025 / 06:39

    Oh I see. A very well written story

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  9. jenne49's avatar jenne49 Jan 18, 2025 / 12:17

    I’ll never look on a bollard in the same way again, Keith!
    I might even start knitting them wee hats… 😉
    Fun story, and what a good idea to tell it from the POV of the bollard.

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  10. Sally's avatar Sally Jan 18, 2025 / 17:50

    First, thank you so much for explaining what that thing is in the photo. I was clueless. And writing from its POV? Brilliant!

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Jan 19, 2025 / 16:20

      Thanks so much Sally.

      I never occured to me that so many people wouldn’t know what it was! We have them along most shop-lined streets here – standing up not laying down!

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  11. clark's avatar clark Jan 19, 2025 / 12:53

    thank you for clarifying the object d’week (lol couldn’t find a working pun on the d’art but couldn’t let go (of the ‘joke’) lol

    fun story

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