Six Sentences…

Keith's Ramblings

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I wish you could see inside The Baaamy Inn, Landlord Len has done an amazing job of decorating it – it’s only matched by Arthur’s festive apparel, he looks like a human Christmas tree!

Every year Len has a lucky dip to raise money for the charity that was so supportive of his beloved wife Marge in her final few months, and as well as buying a ticket or two the locals are invited to donate a little something and pop it in the sack alongside Len’s complimentary drink, free snack or gratis pub-grub vouchers; last year Ted gave back the wonky coffee mug he’d won the previous year – imagine his disappointment when he won it again! 

Tonight, the ladies of the knitting circle have left their weapons at home and have turned up wearing something they are proud to have made – Poppy’s wearing a beanie hat, Annie has a fancy scarf around her neck, Julie’s donning a jumper and so on; “why haven’t you brought something Pearl?”, asked Heather, “I have”,  she replied, “I’m wearing my woollie knickers”, and with that she jumped to her feet, bent down and started to raise her skirt – “OY!” shouted Len, “I’ll have no semi-nakedness in my pub!” .

“That reminds me”, said Portly Pete, “I’m taking part in the annual Christmas Eve skinny-dip at the nudist beach next week”; “it’ll be more of a chubby dip than a skinny dip for you”, said Arthur, “when you jump in the sea the tide’ll come in!” – and with that, Suzie at the next table leapt to her feet and started to sing – “Dippity  doo dah, dippity day…”.

As usual, Colin had been quietly racking his brain hoping that a joke or two would appear…and they did  – “a guy went skinny dipping in Paris, he was in Seine – what’s a thinker’s favourite dip? hmmmmmus – what’s a priest’s favourite dip? holy guacamole – someone died after eating chickpea dip, it was ruled a hummuscide……”

I’m away for Christmas so I won’t be visiting The Baaamy Inn for a week or two which means I’ll miss the highlight of the pub’s year, when the local children’s choir sings carols by candlelight outside on the forecourt; landlord Len’s grandson James always sings a solo, it’s a piece his Grannie used to love and once again he’ll perform it looking up at the stars in the hope she hears him.

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*That’s it from The Baaamy Inn for this year. I’ll be raising a glass to the locals on the big day, I’d love it if you did too! 

 

Thanks to Denise for hosting Six Sentence Stories where this week’s given word is Dip.

 

 

21 thoughts on “Six Sentences…”

  1. Sadje's avatar Sadje Dec 20, 2024 / 14:00

    Have a great vacation Keith. A nice six to round off the year.

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  3. Christine Goodnough's avatar Christine Goodnough Dec 20, 2024 / 15:02

    How does Colin manage to think up all those corny puns? Anyway, wishing you a great holiday season, wherever you go.

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Dec 21, 2024 / 16:22

      I did once catch him Googling on his phone just below the tabletop!

      The same to you and yours, Christine!

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  5. Misky's avatar Misky Dec 20, 2024 / 20:16

    This is the first time that I’ve listened to your voice recording. You sound just like Michael Palin! Merry Christmas, Keith!

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  6. Suzette Benjamin's avatar Suzette Benjamin Dec 20, 2024 / 21:48

    Thank you for the joyous and pun-filled stories of the Baaamy Inn this year. You are the star of puns. Have a wonderful Christmas Season!

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Dec 21, 2024 / 16:25

      Thanks so much for your kind words, Suzette. I don’t know what I’d do without The Baaamy Inn!

      Wishing you a Very Happy Christmas!

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  7. messymimi's meanderings's avatar messymimi's meanderings Dec 21, 2024 / 00:31

    A blessed and beautiful Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to them and you and I hope we get to hear from them again next year.

    And I no longer skinny dip, I chunky dunk.

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    • Keith's Ramblings's avatar Keith's Ramblings Dec 21, 2024 / 16:30

      ‘Tis the season to be jolly! Wishing you and your family, Carl too, a wonderful Christmastide.

      They’ll be back, that’s for sure!

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  8. clark's avatar clark Dec 21, 2024 / 13:25

    yeah, with all the others, have a good ‘oliday… merry christmas and ‘yo ho ho’

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  9. Frank Hubeny's avatar Frank Hubeny Dec 21, 2024 / 21:58

    It looks like Ted can’t get rid of that coffee mug. Blessings and Merry Christmas, Keith!

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